Womens advice needed?

Question

My wife only likes regular sex ,I would like to be a little more intense in the bedroom. How can I get her to try new and wilder things?

Answer 1

Unless she is willing, not a lot. I find this a very difficult question to answer simply because I think a lot of women use sex to "trap" their man. Once they have him, they use it as a weapon....so maybe I am a bit biased....and I am a woman myself. I enjoy every aspect of sex, but my partner has to have something special to bring it out in me. I find the more confident a man is, the more I respond. A lot of women take the passive role because maybe that is what they think their husband wants. Maybe your wife feels the same. Us women have had a lot of conditioning where sex is concerned, and even the most adventurous woman and even men dont like to be rejected. The sad fact too that there are a lot of women that have certain taboos in the bedroom, eg, oral sex...a lot of women think that is dirty, its their conditioning. The mind can either stop something wonderful from happening or it can enhance it. I think everything is fine between two consenting adults, but I am still not too adventurous if I dont know its what the man wants...I dont want to turn my partner off in case he has taboos, so I kinda just play it by ear. If I know my partner is adventurous then it is wonderful, but until I know it is what he wants too, then I will be quite cool about it. Maybe your wife is the same....have you ever suggested to her what you would like to do? Maybe she doesnt know you want to be adventurous. One night, wine and dine her, just take the lead, dont wait until she starts anything off.and dont even wait until you get into the bedroom....just be assertive, not aggressive, just tell her while you are showing her what you want to do. Whisper in her ear, kiss her neck, fondle her breasts, always telling her how sexy she is....keep on doing this and you will feel her melt.....show her how exciting she is, tell her how exciting she is. I love hearing a man verbalise what he would like to do, its very sexy actually. If this doesnt work, then maybe she does have a lot of taboos where sex is concerned, and if the sex has become boring for you, then you need to discuss this with her....maybe ask her is there anything you can do to spice it up a bit. If she feels pressured, then it wont be good anyway, but if you put it on yourself, then you are showing her that you care about her and you really want to do things to please her. Lots of men dont take the time to work on their sexual problems with their wives...they just assume their wife isnt interested and I think that is why a lot of men cheat. There are a lot of women who do use sex as a weapon like I said, but there are some, who given the right stimuli can be absolutely amazing.....they can turn into a real little fox in the bedroom...but you need to show her that it is OK for her to lose control....lots of women fear that losing control may mean their husband/partner could think of them as being cheap. Yes, we are complext little creature arent we....lol....Give it a shot....take the lead, be assertive....see where things lead.

I wish you well.

Answer 2

would your wife consider watching a porno? I am not being a pervert but it can be an awesome tool for opening up conversation and the possibility of trying new things in the bedroom.

DO NOT just go out and rent one, bring it home, and pop it in the dvd player. Discuss it with her and maybe even go together to help you pick it out.

Have you asked her why she does not want to try other positions or be more adventurous in the bedroom?

One idea, set the room - music and candles and such, get some warm massage oil and give her a nice massage. While she is still on her stomach, gently try to take her doggie style. If she objects, be understanding. Forcing her would spoil it and she will NEVER let you try again.

Another idea...a nice dinner out and then a trip to a hot tub place. Cuddling, kissing, being naked...it is hard to have regular sex in a hot tub. Have her try sitting on your lap. Again, if she objects, be understanding.

Keep trying things like I have mentioned above and maybe in time she will allow different things to happen and she may even discover she enjoys them and will want to try more new things.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

There has to be complete trust and communication in every single area of your marriage. You also have to stop and consider her feelings, how she was raised, how does she precieve sex, ect........ remember some women were raised to believe that sex is a "duty" and an "obligation" and it not to be liked. Some women also believe that some types of "sex" are dirty and degrading and show no kind of love or emotion. Have you suggest marriage counseling or seeing a sex therapist together? Keep talking, ask her questions, make her know how much you love her and that it is because of that love that you want to experience new things with her and her only. What ever you do, don't bring pornography into the relationship. It will destroy things and make matters worse.

Answer 4

Maybe she is to shy to tell you what she fatasizes about. If you are to share with her about your desires she may feel intimidated or guilty for not meeting your expectations. I would suggest trying something subtle, perhaps a little flavored gel for oral sex to use on her. Or you could buy her some naughty clothing. If she responds then you will know where she stands. There are alot of great products out there. The Liberators are great pieces of furniture to enhance passion and closeness. Make sure whatever you do you meet her emotional needs as well. If she comes around which I hope for your sake she does, I would highly recommend getting a love swing- She will love it. Good luck!

Answer 5

Well,
I am not married, but if it was me, just talk to her and say whats on your mind. Maybe talk to her and see if maybe you can switch now and then, like for example, one night do it the way she wants and then the next night, the way you want. Just an idea. Or do things that really get her going, like, if she likes being kissed on the neck, then do that and a little more, once she gets close to her "best turn on time", that may be when to get a little more wilder, she may want more, if it means more to her.

Sincerely,
Wee Man.

Answer 6

Give her a glass of wine and make her feel like the most beautiful women in the world. Buy a sexual positions book and just mark the ones that you want to try, let her see the ones you chose and see what happens from there. I'm sure she would be into spicing up your sex life as well!

Answer 7

You need to include more details.... like what you have tried....what is her reaction...... is it because of moral issues.


There are alot of reasons why a woman may not be more into more than just regular sex.

Fear.... comfort factor.....your approach....issues with morality or religion.

Talk to her, find out what her issues are first, then be understanding in what she says....what may seem ridiculious to you may really be an issue for her.......and you in getting what you need in the bedroom. She must feel comfortable first or either she won't do it or she will be doing it just to make you happy and not because she enjoys making you happy!


Good Luck!

Answer 8

dress up for her in a uniform of some sort
have a look on the annsummers.co.uk website
when ya havin sex rol around on the bed and get her to go on top she might love it i know i do and try differnt positions its all good and a lot of fun even spice it up in the bedroom like use squirty cream all over ur body and get her to lick it off or other kind of sweet thing on ya body and u do it too her aswell
have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

ohh wow that sucks! but communication is defintely key and i would suggest things subtely...like run a bath with some oils and tell her to meet you there...or introduce some whip cream....it may involve you being a little cheesy and using candles and such but it might work

good luck!

Answer 10

She'll do that on her own you just can't push her cause then shes gonna feel pressured and believe me women don't like that at all. You have to let her come to you.