what do i do! my boyfriend wont help, he knows it's hiz but he is denying it. and im all alone! (17 yrs old, father 19years old)
2006-12-07 10:42:42 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
my parents said no abortion
2006-12-07 10:53:05 · update #1
my boyfriend is the only guy i have ever had sex with, and he knows that. and i hate him but i dont want this kid to grow up with out a father.
2006-12-07 10:53:53 · update #2
i have been kicked out of my home, and living with a family friend (mamatha)
but i am moving out soon to my friend rayna's apartment in a week because mamatha is being sooo mean to me, and her husband steve calls me a whore,slut,a sleez bag, and she wont stop it. so thats why im leaving. im sorry i did this, but i cant get rid of my kid. i dont want to be some old hagg who regrets giving up her child and not know who he or she is.
2006-12-07 11:11:16 · update #3
Well if you plan on keeping it, then he doesn't have a choice. He can try to deny it, but thats the beauty of paternity tests. If you notify the courts they will order him to take it and he will have to pay for it too. Once proved the father he will be ordered to pay up child support or face prison. Don't be afraid to take him to court over this. If he was man enough to go to bed with you then he better be man enough to take on the responsibilities. My guess is that considering your still technically a minor he is afraid of being accused of something. Talk to someone immediately that you can trust or even call a pregnancy hotline that will help guide you through the steps you need to consider and take. You are not alone! There are many places that will help you out. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-07 10:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by Chelle's Belle 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You talk about growing up fast. . . that's where you are. I agree with the person that said get a lawyer, go to court, get a DNA test, and get the father set up for child support. If he doesn't pay for his child, have the court MAKE him pay.
All that aside:
-Finish your education. The difference in your earning potential is based on that, period. Graduate HS and go part time to community college and then a four yr school part time. Get your degree. It WILL be hard, but most colleges offer day care as a greatly reduced rate and financial aid will help you cover the expense. You will leave college with a student loan, but a lot worse can happen since your income will be almost 50% higher with a degree (at a minimum)
-Take parenting classes (from the Red Cross or through Child Protective Services. . . no charge). You will need them. Read Dear Abby's column for Dec.6, 2006 (online) about parenting. It was EXCELLENT>
- While your parents kicked you out, they will not want to kick out their grandchild and that is a way back into their good graces (by being a responsible Mom and letting them see the child regularly). They will help you with the child financially even if they do NOT help you financially. No grandparent can resist their grandchild.
- Be EXTREMELY careful who you live with. It can not only affect you but also your child. I realize that this is tough right now, but look into income subsidized housing through the housing authority in your county and get in your own place ASAP. You need to be in control of your living environment.
- If you don't have one, get a job at McDonald's, Pizza Hut, or wherever. You need to have some income from somewhere else. (do NOT neglect your schooling while doing this).
-Get on Medicaid. You will need this for the medical expenses until the father has to help pay the bills. You need GOOD MEDICAL PRENATAL CARE.
- Find a good church with a church family that will support you emotionally. You made a mistake, but a good church family will not "crucify" you for the mistake. They can be the best friends you will have during this difficult time.
- Finally, try to reconcile with your family. Whether it is your parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts or uncles, you need family support.
I'll be praying for you (as will many others). You WILL make it. It WILL be difficult, but YOU WILL MAKE IT!
2006-12-07 20:24:57 · answer #2 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of what your parents say, if you want to have an abortion, then go to a clinic. It is your body-not theirs. If you have the baby, it will be a HUGE responsibility. It will change your life forever, and it will be extremely hard. Since you are under 17 and pregnant, contact your local Child Protective Services/Department of Children and Families. Your parents can't legally kick you out, and they are still responsible for your expenses and such until you are 18. However, if you don't want to deal with your parents, CPS will be able to help set you up with the appropriate resources so you can live independently.
Good Luck!
2006-12-07 20:31:42 · answer #3 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get an abortion.
that is 2 eyes that will never see...
2 legs that will never walk...
mouth that will never smile...
AND A BABY THAT WILL NEVER BE GIVEN ANOTHER CHANCE TO LIVE!
sorry, but, WHAT IS UP WITH TEENS THESE DAYS???
their boyfriends always turn out like this, no matter how much you love or trust them!!!!!
Get a guy that appreciates you and will be willing to take care of your baby too! Because that baby deserves a LOVING father!
2006-12-07 21:37:32 · answer #4 · answered by la. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you do is talk to someone you trust with everything. I was 17 when I got pregnant. Same situation, and let me tell you: If he doesn't want to be involved NOTHING will make him change his mind.....But that doesn't mean you can't be a great mom. I don't regret my decision at all, BUT there are lots of options for you, including abortion (surgical, pill) and adoption. TALK to someone immediatly!!!
2006-12-07 18:46:23 · answer #5 · answered by utdiva27 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, he has to help.. legally if you take him to court then usually they will pay for the cost of the paternity test if it is in your favor that it is his baby and then he will have to pay child support whether he wants to or not. I am so sorry you are having to go throuhg this. You always think you know someone until you need them the most. Keep your head up girl, it's going to be okay.
2006-12-07 18:48:52 · answer #6 · answered by dradra336 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to lose contact with your baby if you choose adoption. There is a type of adoption called open adoption and if you have a good relationship with the adoptive parents they may even let you visit your baby. My husband and I are one of thousans of couples that are seeking this type of adoption. If you want someone to talk to , you can instant message me or email me. Maybe I could be of some help to you.
2006-12-08 03:05:02 · answer #7 · answered by Patty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say in your situation to get an abortion. You should have not went to your parents about it since your under 18 years old. Nothing is going to change your boyfriend..it is a classic case of "Pump and dump" where the guys get their girlfriends pregnant and hit the road. Do you have the financial resources to take care of a baby? Do you have them time and patience to deal with it? The MAJORITY of guys you meet in the future will not want to take care of your "Extra Baggage" you have when you have this kid! If you were in a loving relationship in which you had a supoortive spouse..I would say go for it, but in your case...get rid of the problems..it will be tought for you to deal with now but you will get better...Why in the world are all these young kids thinking about this AFTER it happens! HELLO wake up and use some contraception..HELLO..Were you thinking af all this while on your back?
2006-12-07 19:29:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
welp u could get a DNA test or sumthin but if he still want pay child support or anything then u should definately take his butt to court b/c u should make sure that he helps take care of his lil baby!!!
2006-12-07 18:57:30 · answer #9 · answered by :) his girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi if your boyfriend doesnt think that the baby is his take him on the maury show and get a DNA test done ...thats probally the only way to prove it to him
2006-12-08 01:21:25 · answer #10 · answered by julybaby1690 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋