I have being dating this girl for about a month now. She broke up with her ex whom she dated for a year. She claims that she realized that they weren't meant for each other. I like her immensely. She stated that she cares alot about me and didn't want to hurt me when I confronted her about the possiblilty that I could be the rebound guy. We've had sex at least 6x. My question is what do I need to doi? should I be careful so as not to be rebounf guy. Should I trust her? Does she cares about me or does she want to just have sex with me and dump me? I am having all kinds of thoughts creeping thru my mind. I know I am the one who'll make the ultimately make the decision. But I need input as to what you guys would do if placed in my plight. Thanks for reading and responding..
2006-12-07 10:40:04 · 15 answers · asked by hey101 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Ummmm...being the rebound guy can be loads of fun....Take thangs one day at a time my friend..Quit worrying about tomorrow and enjoy her company today like it's your last..Have some darn confidence in yourself. She may go back with whatshisname but guess what, that's really a situation you can do absolutely nothing about, so for today---do your thing and be glad in it! BIG LOVE!
2006-12-07 10:45:33 · answer #1 · answered by sckreet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously just not terribly confident yet. Go slowly and realize that you don't need to make any decisions immediately. Time will tell if you want to make a complete commitment and you do not have to make this decision until you completely feel comfortable doing so. Don't worry about what other people say as everyone mends from a break up at different times and no two people are going to react in the same way. You will know when the time is right by what you observe and how you feel in both your head and your heart. Good luck to you and it is OK to have misgivings in fact it is normal.
2006-12-07 11:04:14 · answer #2 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've answered your own question. This girl isn't sure what she wants--she's only been "single" for one MONTH, but she was completely committed to this other guy for one YEAR. My guess would be she's shell-shocked, as most girls are, and can't seem to get used to the idea of "being alone" again. It's a dilemma most girls/women go through; most of the stronger ones with a sense of self know better than to jump into another "serious" commitment until they've healed from the one they've just left. Chances are she's in transition, which makes you Mr. Transitional Guy. Sorry. The sex probably reaffirms that she's still desirable, something most girls who are dumped (or dumping) are a little vulnerable about--esp. when we know how slim the pickings are in the guy department. The fact that she's indecisive should free you emotionally enough to figure out if you just want to be her stepping stone to the next guy. It's ultimately your choice. If you're questioning her commitment level NOW, chances are you're sure she's not fully "present" with you emotionally. I say give her some space, real PHYSICAL space, as in distance, as in proximity to you literally, and let her figure out if she's with you because she doesn't want to be alone, or she's with you because she wants you. And chances are you'll figure out in the interim if YOU really want to be with her.
2006-12-07 11:07:11 · answer #3 · answered by dangerouspoet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have gotten off track.
Not what you say but ,how you say is whats is coming through in your question.
You seem like you want to be all things to this person in order that it may work out.. Even to the point that you are admitting to being the rebound guy.
The only way you can win this persons heart (and it may be to late) is to respect yourself, be the best you can be 24/7. If you can accomplish that in time for her to see it, there will be a chance for both of you.
Dwelling and self pity can be seen for miles and, it's not very impressive.
2006-12-07 10:47:45 · answer #4 · answered by ggraves1724 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think you don't want to hear what you are being advised to do. You have to look at the situation and figure out why you feel this frightened about it. Her words or actions are not a comfort to you. There are very good reasons you don't feel secure in this. This is NOT secure. You need to be aware that this could very well result in you getting hurt very badly. There is a very very good chance you ARE the rebound guy.
2006-12-07 11:00:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The main thing I would do is try and relax and chill out. It seems like you are overanalyzing everything and pretty soon you're going to really annoy or freak this girl out. Since I don't know this girl personnaly, than I can't predict if you are a rebound guy or if it will last. But I would just try and calm down, don't let yourself get too attached or attracted to her and let her figure out what she wants. It sounds like she doesn't really know what she wants, but if you keep forcing the issue or pressuring her, she is definitely going to leave you.
2006-12-07 10:47:34 · answer #6 · answered by Bodie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What i seriously suggest you do is talk to her about whats on your mind. If you mean anything to her she will answer you truthfully and give you the answers that you need. Also i wouldn't suggest that you date someone just after they have gotten out of a relationship. They will need time to heal and get over the person they just broke up with.
2006-12-07 11:09:02 · answer #7 · answered by qdeezy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from experience...
If she says she likes you then she does. I met my current fiance while I was going through my divorce. And we couldn't be anymore in love. I wanted to just sleep with him and leave but he made me wait and spend time with him prior to doing it all the time. And I fell madly in love with him. Give her a chance and just go for it. I am glad that my current man did with me.
2006-12-07 11:13:07 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why you're posting questions about the heterosexual lifestyle in the gay and lesbian section. There's an entire section just for you:
Family & Relationships > Singles & Dating
.
2006-12-07 10:46:26 · answer #9 · answered by Throbington Steifenholz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're the rebound guy now and always will be in her eyes. Forget her and move on.
2006-12-07 10:44:30 · answer #10 · answered by crowbird_52 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋