Is it basic human nature to talk about others behind their backs?

Question

I'm typically a quiet person, but I observe a lot around me. It's definitely hard for me to open up to others and I'm slowly discovering one of the reasons why. Ever since I was a teenager, I would watch and hear people bash others when they weren't around. I saw it happen so much that I became incredibly self conscious, fearing that people would talk negatively about me if I revealed too much of myself. Now that I'm in my mid 20's, I still observe it around me. I'm still a very self conscious person and still take a long time to open up to others, and probably for the same reason. I hate that I'm like this way, and know that not everyone is going to like you and that you just have to deal with it.

But is it basic human nature to talk about others when they're not around? Why is this? Are there any genuine people out there who don't engage in this behavior?

Answer 1

I think it is basic human nature to talk about people behind their backs. This is a way that we all establish and confirm with eachother what the unwritten rules of our society are. Knowing these rules help us to be part of the "group" and this makes us feel good because we are a social society. However, I don't think it's human nature that these conversations are always negative. You have no control over whether people talk about you behind your back or not....and although I'm sure the thought causes you to feel a lot of anxiety, I can guarantee that it's happened....and you're fine anyway. The only way you let it affect you is by allowing yourself to be negatively impacted by the possibility of it happening...and it sounds like that's happened already. Since people will talk about you no matter what you do, a healthier response might be to simply move on with your life, try to set a good example, feel good about the person that you are, and don't worry about conversations that you aren't a part of...because you can't do anything about it. If you are uncomfortable with a conversation that's happening about someone else, just remove yourself from it or don't respond. People would be hard pressed to find any criticism in that solution.

Answer 2

Well....I guess it's human nature in that we still aim for superiority and by talking down others we bolster our feeling of being superior--as dumb as that is.

We may not be able to bash you over the head with a club, but we can tell anyone with ears on their head that you are a jerk.

As for how you feel--I think we all feel that way to a certain extent. The only way round it is to work very hard on not caring what others think, not lowering yourself to that behavior and to be the kind of person you wish to attract.

Yes, there are genuine people out there--that's not to say they're perfect people as everyone has their foibles.

Hope this helps a bit! Good luck!

Answer 3

I think it is basic human nature to talk about others behind thier backs because no matter how much I want to do the right thing and not talk about people my mind urges me to until I just have to talk about somebody to a friend.

Answer 4

i think of it relatively is purely nature. The choicest course to reproductive achievement for in maximum animals for the male is to objective to impregnate as many women folk people as achievable. women people, on the different, can basically get pregnant an excellent style of circumstances. So for women people the sport is approximately choosing the wonderful male, the single which will provide your offspring stable genes. men are beggars and girls people are choosers. for this reason, the male's instinct is to bang each attainable lady in sight, on a similar time as the female's instinct is to p.c.. basically the terrific men. for this reason, women people have a lot larger standards of acceptance than men.

Answer 5

It is basic human gossip. I just don't take it very seriously, because you can't tell if what they are saying is true or not. I try not to participate in it, and I don't let it bother me. People will always be people.

Answer 6

Only if the person ur talkin bout turns away from you

Answer 7

... stop paying attention to what others are doing wrong ... it'll only bring you down ... try pointing out what they're doing right ... if you watch them long enough, eventually they will do something right, and when they do, be sure to tell them "good job" ...

Answer 8

They are nothing but busy bodies meddling in other affairs and leaving their's undone.

Answer 9

well not exzactly but for some ppl it is