My wife says she doesn't have to obey me if she doesn't agree with my decisions. I thought that was the biggest bunch of garbage I have ever heard in my life. What kind of obedience is that? She also says I have to earn her respect. Truth is, I am her husband and she needs to respect me because of my position in the family, correct? I'm really getting tired of her choosing which commands of mine she wants to obey or not. Should I start a system of discipline? If not, any other ideas to get her to straighten up and quit being so stubborn?
2006-12-07 10:36:49 · 38 answers · asked by Sandstorm222 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think your wife "obeys" you about anything. She does what you suggest if she agrees that it is the right thing to do. This is as it should be. Obedience has no place in a personal relationship. You are two equals, you should each listen when the other has an idea/suggestion, and weigh the others opinion along with your own and make your own decisions. I agree this is not obedience and should not be. If you want a good relationship with your wife you must forget about obedience. You are supposed to be a team, a partnership. That is the kind of relationship that works best at making both people happy.
2006-12-07 10:46:13 · answer #1 · answered by irongrama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as obey. She is not in doggie obedience school.
Sure you are the decision maker, but there has to be a mutual agreement.
Also, yes, you are the head of the household. You have to remember that the decision you make has to be for the good of the household and the marriage, or you will get revolution, like it sounds you are getting.
Make sure you consult your wife on issues and decisions. If she doesn't agree you have two options. Tell her that you are going to make the decision, although you respect her opinion and you will work with her to reverse it if things go awry, or, you can find another way and come up with a decision that which both you and she can come to terms.
2006-12-08 06:04:17 · answer #2 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not your pet, and doesn't HAVE to do anything. Sounds like you're being a tyrant. Why would she want to follow that. You have been given a position of trust, don't abuse it or you'll lose it. You should lead by example, not force. Are you completely whole-heartedly and joyfully obeying all those you're under authority of (such as your boss, the government, God)? If not, then how can you expect someone to do what you tell them to do if you're not doing it? Love doesn't demand anything, it gives. You need respect she needs love (actually you both need both, but she needs to feel and know she is loved more than you do, and you need to feel and know you're respected a bit more). But really you reap what you sow, so start sowing obedence, yes even to you wife and see what a diference it makes. I'm not saying be spineless and make her completely run the show and don't make any decisions, but alllow her to be an individual too, and respect her thoughts and decisions just as much as you want her to give to you. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
2006-12-07 10:48:53 · answer #3 · answered by Matt B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG really YOU need to GROW UP!! Why should any women OBEY YOU?? Who in the hell are you to say what a PERSON can or can not do?? Do YOU do everything to says?? If not then why should she.
Your right you need a system of discipline, so the next time you want her to OBEY you, JUST HAND HER A HOT FRYING PAN AND HAVE HER HIT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH IT, hopefully it will knock some sense into you and you will get over trying to control your wife!!
2006-12-07 10:47:16 · answer #4 · answered by Danielle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am hoping you are kidding. What century do you live in?
If I were your wife, I would file for divorce right now. My independence from an overbearing husband would be worth it.
You both need to respect each other. What kind of orders are you giving anyway and why do you have to give commands and orders?
Marriage is a partnership. If you can't live by that, you shouldn't be married.
Your wife isn't your slave, she's your partner. Treat her as such.
2006-12-07 10:43:39 · answer #5 · answered by Malika 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lock her in the closet for awhile, without a light. That seems to work pretty good for me, I stopped talking back a long time ago. If it gets to out of hand, tie her up and get out the horse whip. It has been a long time since I am experienced it, but the painful memory is still there. Good luck!
2006-12-08 05:46:39 · answer #6 · answered by la_southern_femme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends. if you are a Christian and obeying God yes it's in the word Ephesians 5:22,23 wives submit to your husband....for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.... check it out! submitting to another person is an often misunderstood concept. it does not mean becoming a doormat. in a marriage relationship , both husband and wife are called to submit. for the wife, this means to willingly following her husband's leadership in Christ. for the husband it means putting aside his own interests in order to care for his wife. submission is rarely a problem in homes where both partners have a strong relationship with Christ and where each is concerned for the happiness of the other.(lasb)
check your life, maybe you need to give her a reason to submitt!
2006-12-07 10:57:07 · answer #7 · answered by lovegod_795 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It cracks me up that all those people take your question seriously and answer in the same vein. Then there are those thumb downs. What a hoot.
Anyway , love honour and OBEY. Yes give her a slap.
2006-12-08 06:20:02 · answer #8 · answered by burtbb0912 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't work like that..
being the husband doesnt not give you power over anyone
I assume your question is a joke, but if you really are sincere
a man and wife need compromise on decisions,
giving commands, ??? I bet your own dog would bite you
2006-12-07 11:06:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK bud..... get off the high horse. She is not your slave! You should cherrish your wife. Be nice and go give her a big hug. Do you love her or just want the obedient love slave? You might loose her if you keep acting like this. Sorry to say..... I think you have it in you to be a nice guy....... love her.....
jj
2006-12-07 10:53:59 · answer #10 · answered by jayjay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋