who you have known for six years suddenly went off the rails started messing with drugs, left her husband, stopped answering your calls and mesages, and went off with a moron called chicken would you continue to try and get in touch or would you just let her go? im male by the way
2006-12-07 10:21:53 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
forgot to mention she has just turned nearly thirty its like a pre midlife crisis or something
2006-12-07 10:37:18 · update #1
well i dont know what to say?? chicken is a mad name for a man who dabbles with drugs, and as for your friend as long as she has'nt gone completely off the rails, i would just tell her that she needs to take 5 and realise she could end up losing everybody, but that you will be her friend as long as she remembers what friends are for.
2006-12-07 11:05:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to get in touch with her for a little while. Give her some time, don't seem too desperate. It seems like she needs some TLC, so ask to meet her face to face and talk about her. Don't use the word 'you' if you try and talk to her. For example don't say 'you need help, you're turning into someone else'. Say 'I feel that you've began to change, and I'd like to know why, because the actions that you're taking are concerning me as a friend'. That way, it won't seem like you're attacking her. If you call twice a week for a month, and she doesn't reply, it's time to let her go. I know that's painful, but some people just randomly change. It's unfortunate, but it happens.
2006-12-07 10:25:37 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can only do so much for your friends. Making the right decisions for their lives is not one of them. If you've tried talking to her and it hasn't helped, all you can really do is back off and let her do her own thing. If you are a true friend, just be their when she falls, and considering what you've said, she will fall very hard. Try not to pass judgment. Everyone goes through stupid phases in their lives. Say a prayer for her to come out of this in one piece, and a prayer for yourself so that you have patience and tolerance to see her through this. Good luck!!
2006-12-07 10:32:11 · answer #3 · answered by creole woman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, you seem like you are a really good friend....you know there are not a whole lot of people out there that you can actually call friends.you should keep bugging her because she's throwing her life away. besides, she's dealing with drugs...just one question. you mention she left her husband. is she now divorced?? because if not, then i think that even if you are the world's greatest friend, you should let her husband deal with this, unless her doesn't care for her at all, and he is seeing someone else.
2006-12-07 10:27:38 · answer #4 · answered by Yesy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot stop addicts from being addicts. They have to hit rock-bottom and make their way out of their own holes. I have watched Intervention a few times and if they don't want rehab, a helping hand doesn't work. I have been friends with people like this.
This is my attitude now, (not directed at you or anyone specific).
"You have a problem, it is not mine. Deal with it or don't deal with it. I get the young people who do this, but they are not my kids. I don't want substance abuse messing up my life. Addiction makes people ugly, scary, selfish and unfeeling. I don't need dysfunction in my life."
2006-12-07 10:25:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. If you are a good friend then you will keep a benevolent eye on your friend. All of us are free to make our own mistakes but would like our friends to be on hand when things get out of hand.
If she won't answer your calls how about looking her up in person?
2006-12-07 10:26:52 · answer #6 · answered by Imogen Sue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Help her the best you can, I had a similar problem with a male friend and he's cool now. But he needed some one stable to be there to help carry the load.
2006-12-07 10:26:23 · answer #7 · answered by ANTJOHN 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would keep trying to get in touch with her because she may end up in bad situations with the drugs.
2006-12-07 10:25:56 · answer #8 · answered by <3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can only try. You can't force someone to straighten out their life. I have a drug addicted sister and it wasn't until i stopped trying to help her, did she actually end up getting help for herself. It took 25 years.
2006-12-07 10:25:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends how long youve been trying to stay in touch... but maybe itll be nice for her to know you still care. If she is one of your best friends, being male and female is irrelevant.
2006-12-07 11:05:08 · answer #10 · answered by prettyflower17 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋