I am a 28 year old man, married, and have found myself more in love with my female best friend then with my wife. I'm not sure, but I think that my friend feels the same about me, but wouldn't act on it due to the sanctity of marriage, both hers and mine. Divorce is not an option due to my faith, and so i'm very confused!!
2006-12-07 09:51:48 · 24 answers · asked by huntingtonjason 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There's nothing confusing about it. Especially when you talk about faith and sanctity of marriage. Man up. You took something called a 'vow'. That means you and your wife bud and it doesn't include your gal pal. Instead of oggling your best friend, maybe you should be trying to fix your marriage and make your wife your best friend. Anyway you slice it, realize that if you step that way, you may end up ruining two other people because you couldn't find the strength to resist this itch you're experiencing. Because if it was something other than an itch, you two wouldn't have fallen in love and married other people.
2006-12-07 18:04:47 · answer #1 · answered by Tough Love 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all why would you be married and have a female for a best friend. That is just asking for trouble. If divorce is such an issue because of your beliefs then why don't your beliefs include you respecting your wife and honoring your marriage vows (to forsake all others). If this other women is such a great "friend" she should also know that the only solution is to end the friendship immediately. You also need to confess your lust to your wife and ask for her forgivness so your marriage can heal and grow.
2006-12-07 19:25:38 · answer #2 · answered by Sally B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be honest with your wife. I know that divorce is not an option for you. If you really love this gal, then move on. Before more than one person gets hurt. Think about this way, what about if your wife what going thru this situation, how would you feel? Horrible... Huh? I know I would. When you got married, you got married forever not for a couple of years. I understand how you feel. If you have to move on then move on.
2006-12-07 17:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by Morena461 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because it feels good to know you can turn a head and create interest. However, emotional cheating is bad because it still affects your marriage. Youll find out you are porbably not "in love" with your friend more than you are in love with the idea of fresh romance, something that unfortunately fades from marriage. When this happened to me (and it has recently) I steered away from my "friend" and tried to find the qualities I liked in our "friendship" within my wife, after looking I actually found them, and our relationship is now better.
2006-12-07 18:05:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If divorce is not an option, perhaps a marriage counselor. But if you aren't in love,WHY stay married? In your heart, you've already "cheated". If children are involved, how will this affect them. Lots to consider. If you believe in rebirth,this may be the closing of one relationship and the beginning of another.
2006-12-07 17:56:16 · answer #5 · answered by Craig L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your wife need to go see a marriage counselor, and you need to put some distance between yourself and your best friend to sort things out.
You must have had reasons why you married your wife, not your best female friend. You need to rediscover those reasons and strengthen the bonds you have with your wife.
It is not a shame to need help figuring tough things out. Make an appointment with a marriage counselor or therapist and do what's necessary to put your marriage in order.
Good luck.
2006-12-07 17:55:41 · answer #6 · answered by Karin C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume that you are a Godly person? Maybe? Well, you know that communication is VERY important. You should spend time away from the woman who isn't your wife and start spending more time with your wife. Marriage counseling is also a good thing. There are many people who go through this....definitely be honest with yourself and with your wife...try the counseling.
2006-12-07 17:54:38 · answer #7 · answered by A Dekade Under The Influence 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to review why you married the person married in the first place. The thrill of the unknown is lost once it becomes known so you may end up in the same place if you leave one to get the other. Ask your wife if she loves you.
2006-12-07 17:59:33 · answer #8 · answered by RuffNTuff 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if divorce isnt and option i dont think cheating would be an option either so you just need to stop being best friends with this girl and love your wife
2006-12-07 17:53:59 · answer #9 · answered by jenniferyoung1987 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Counseling
2006-12-07 17:53:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋