Another question on cheating?

Question

If a person cheats because they are not getting their needs met in the marriage will leaving their spouse for the other person solve this. What is more important the fact that the needs are not met or the fact that their spouse is not meeting their needs? For example, a man might have an affair because he is not getting enough sex from his wife. What is more important - the sex alone or the sex from his wife? Will getting sex from another person satisfy his needs?

Answer 1

I think that cheating doesn't necessarily solve what they are really looking for. There are probably more things than what others see and they use that as an excuse. If "needs" are not being met, they need to be discussed between both of them and how EACH of them feels. If necessary, counseling should occur. Why is the wife not wanting it? Does she feel she is not getting something she needs? Does she feel like she is alone in the marriage and she isn't voicing her concerns. There are things that need to be discussed that the husband may not know about. Both minds need to be open. Communication And honesty are a Must in any relationship. Cheating will not solve anything. Once the "issues" are out, you may find that the relationship is actually stronger. Most couples once married get caught up in the everyday things. They feel they don't have time to be together romantically, etc.. It is important to make a "date night" and still make time for each other. Make each other feel important. Leave little notes around, give an unexpected phone call during the day to say I was thinking about you, something special. Both have to put 100% effort to make it work. It is the little things that count. If someone feels they are going to cheat, they need to break it off fully with their significant other first. It is a matter of respect, Then they can proceed with another relationship of sorts.

Answer 2

Hmmmmm, this sounds like some trick questions so I am going to take each question one at at time.

More important - needs not met or spouse not meeting needs?
Neither - what is most important is that people are respected for who they are. For example, having an affair is not respecting the wife nor is seeing the wife as only a source for sex respecting her.

So then the answer to the next question which is more important sex alone or sex from his wife - neither. What is most important is the relationship between husband and wife.

Will getting sex from another person satisfy his needs? Welll whether it does or does not is immaterial if it destroys the relationship with his wife.

Answer 3

No it don't solve nothing. My spouse (soon to be ex) said he leaves for the sex then he Tyre's to work his way back in.(that's another story) I believe in some case's the wife is not giving the man enough sex but most of the time it's something new. Your question the sex alone or the sex from his wife? It's the sex alone. Because "the sex" has nothing to do with love. The cheater loves their spouse. I know that sounds crazy, but in there selfish sick of a mind they do. And sex from the another person is the way they want to feel from there wife. But want these cheaters don't realize it's not there wife it's them with the problem. They don't know how to express there true feelings to the one they love. Most of them can talk to a stranger then there own spouse because there know feeling in it. So the bottom line is there scared and weak.

Answer 4

What's at issue here is that the married couple aren't talking to each other about their needs. In a good marriage, people are comfortable with asking for what they want and letting their partner know if the relationship isn't working for them. It's not a sign of a healthy relationship if one or both parties are dissatisfied and nobody wants to talk about it.

To me, the issue in cheating isn't about needs getting met or not, it's how you as a couple deal with each other. A healthy marriage is founded on respect for each other as human beings, and deceit has no place in a relationship founded on respect.

It also seems to me that cheating on your spouse is deliberately doing hurt to the person who you are supposed to care for more than anyone else in the world. What does it say about a person's character if the way they treat the person who is supposed to mean the most to them by sneaking around behind that person's back and doing something that they know is going to hurt their spouse?

Cheating is ugly. If the marriage isn't working and someone's needs aren't being met, they need to bring that fact out into the open. If necessary, they need to end the marriage and look for another relationship.

I don't think there's any way of rationalizing cheating as okay.

Answer 5

It sounds like perhaps the wife is the one not getting her needs met. men tend to equate things to sex while women equate things to emotions. A man expects for a woman to just turn it on at bed time without any consideration of her emotional needs being met all day long. Believe me, if a man knows how to make his wife feel loved and desired all day long.... the sex increases.

Cheating is cheating and there is never any justification to do it.

The sex you get from another satisfies nothing but a physical urge for the moment.... but yet people do it anyway...knowing it's wrong. This is a sad world we live in.

Answer 6

First off, a marriage is ONLY between the two people married. There should be no outside love affairs, that's wrong. No one would ever be truly happy going outside of their marriage, because chances are you will fall in love with that person, and most likely, they will cheat on you because that's what they did to get you. It just shows from both sides that there are so many people that don't care about marriage and don't take it seriously. If someone is unhappy, they should think about counseling. It would be better to try and save it. I know a couple that were divorced once (the husband was VERY abusive), but he got help and they remarried and they are completely in love.

Don't cheat.

Answer 7

If they told their spouse what those needs were and the spouse did not do anything then chances are the next relationship will be better because they have good communication.

If they didn't Say anything and just sat around getting mad at their poor sex life until they cheated then chances are it will fail because they have poor communication skills

Answer 8

If all the husband is thinking about is sex that he shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Marriage is about soo many other things than sex. In most of these situations it won't matter who he is with because he will eventually get bored and move on to what he thinks is greener pastures...not committment worthy!!

Answer 9

There is no way to justify cheating. If you're needs aren't "being met" and you don't have the constitution to honour your commitment to your marriage by looking at ways to remedy your "needs not being met", than you are not worthy of marriage.

Sex is not the most major aspect of marriage - yes, it's important, but people need to look at the bigger picture - which is love, honour and respect

If you ask will sex alone satisfy needs - well, I guess that depends on one's needs. Assuming sexually, then probably....but think of what is sacrificed along the way in the name of hedonism

Answer 10

how about the wife not getting enough sex(more than once a week)? Withholding sex is grounds for divorce. I agree, there's no point in hanging around someone who just can't or won't keep up.