Does the present divorce rate in the western society not show that people are becoming difficult to make happy

Question

No doubt a divorce occurs when one partner or both of them fail to make eachother happy. But the alarming rate of divorce and a shameful frequence of infidelity in the married life shows that atleast one of the partner is very difficult to please and satisfy. Does it not show that the faith in individuality is getting out of hand?, that the element of sacrifice necessary for the fluent working of a relationship is missing in the western society? Does it also not show that we have easily accessible and consequently easily attainable men and women all around us which makes for us easier to get dissatisfied easily? Will any honest person tell me that he or she will leave his or her present partner she or he is unhappy with presently if there were no easy prospect of getting a new partner? Aren't we easily unhappy because we know that we can access it easily next door? Does our present system of relationships admit any sacrifice?

Answer 1

wow u make a very good point...and ur probably right

Answer 2

I think there is some truth in what you say, but I don't agree with all of it.

In previous generations, divorce held a great stigma. Wives would stay with husbands who beat them or treated them with contempt, because to leave was unthinkable. Men stayed with slovenly and uncaring wives for the same reason. I'm GLAD that society allows people in that situation to escape.

When I look at the marriages of older people that I know, I can see that many of them are not happy together. Those couples stayed together because that's what people did in those days. But what good did it do? Once the children were grown up (or if there were none), wouldn't it have been better if they had separated and had a chance of personal fulfilment? What would have been so bad about that - would it have harmed anyone?

On the other hand, I do agree that TV and films portray a fairytale idea of what a relationship should be, and some people will quickly give up on a marriage if it doesn't live up to that ideal. They can waste their lives looking for that unattainable perfect relationship, which is a great shame.

On the subject of infidelity, I emphatically do not agree that there is more infidelity than in the old days. In fact, because couples couldn't divorce, infidelity was the only outlet. It just wasn't talked about - wives turned a blind eye, because they couldn't do anything about it.

Read your history and you will see that for centuries, mistresses and lovers were not only tolerated but even regarded as normal.

Answer 3

The first thing I have to say is it's not up to someone else to make you happy. It's up to you to make yourself happy and let that filter into your relationship.
As a single person looking for the right partner, my experience has been that everyone is so afraid to be single and alone that instead of waiting for the right person to come along, they just grab Mr/Ms Right Now and then either hope for the best or keep them until something better comes along. If nothing better comes along and the woman puts on the pressure, she might get a wedding ring out of it but eventually the other party will find someone else. I talk to them online all the time and some are amazingly compatable but got themselves stuck with Ms Right Now. Too bad people can't just wait until they find the right partner. Yes, there'd be more single people but on the other hand there would be a lot less married in misery.

Answer 4

What I think is that people are always the same. I don't believe that people are harder to make happy, but that marriages are much easier to dissolve nowadays.

Back then (whenever that was), people still cheated, people were still unhappy. How many people you know grew up with parents who slept in different rooms? For me it was a lot. Basically what I'm trying to say is that people used to make a better effort to keep up appearances and keep their marriages together, to whatever end. Also, divorcees were once looked down on, so it was much better for people to just stay married, even if they were unhappy. These days, it's acceptable to get a divorce if you can't agree on curtain colors. Basically, people are generally horrible about picking the right person to marry, and they pay for it in the end.

Answer 5

Going through a seperation now and I have thought about this for a long time. It just seems that much like most of our life our relationships are disposable. No one seems to put forth an effort any more to keep and maintain any relationships. Most people feel that they can walk away and in a few days/weeks they can just find someone else to who may fit their need at the moment in their life. Not realizing that people change and a commitment in a relationship means that while we all change but you can only fully enjoy life with person that you truely love, trust and share your experiences with. So I would say yes that our society has contributed to the failings in our relationships.

Answer 6

I'm not sure if it's due to disappointment, maybe utlimately it is, but what LED to that disappointment?

Nowadays everything is quick quick quick, fast fast fast. "I sent you an email, you didn't get it yet?" most people have their outlook open throughout the day, or get notifications sent to their cells, everything is fast, mail is only used now for people who don't pay their bills or parking tickets. You can even fax now over the internet intead of using a fax machine. All in one printers, wireless EVERYTHING. People don't take the TIME to take time on their relationships. To slow things down and take it easy. Technology can be fast, but ultimately for a honest and good and healthy relationship I personally think one needs to take TIME and just sit back and not RUSH a relationship. If you don't rush a relationship, you can learn about the person, and know better if they are a LIFE match for you.

As for people who did take the time, have been married for years, and now are getting divorced, it's because again - they don't take the time to work out their issues, to work on the relationship, to MAKE the time for their partner...

Answer 7

I think it is nothing more than, people not taking marriage serious... they get married for all the wrong reasons... so when it doesn't work out...it's easy to walk away... The level of committment seen in decades past...is no longer there.

With marriage comes responsibility. Finance, family etc. And once they are faced with that heavy responsibility, they say to themselves...I didn't know it was going to be so hard....and so away they walk.

We live in a society of people that don't know the meaning of a contract let alone a contract of marriage.

It's all about getting out of it instead of making it work. Very sad!

Answer 8

All of these things are just symptoms of bigger issues.

It starts as an individual issue. People cannot make themselves happy so they go looking for someone else to do it for them. Another person CANNOT make you happy.

We are a microwave society in all aspects. We want quick fixes. Most ppl are not willing to take the time and do the work necessary to deal with whatever issues that cause them to be selfish or hurting or whatever the case.

The main issue in our society is selfishness...which is the exact opposite of love. Love is necessary in relationships. You should love yourself first, then you can give to others.

If we would deal with ourselves first and learn what it is to truly love, these things would not be happening in marriages.

Answer 9

I share round about the same opinion. In the old days people had to work at it, they had no choice but nowadays not only is it easy but most people are extremely spoiled and selfish.
I do not wish to offend anyone but it is my opinion.
It's a shame however it's the truth.
It is only fair to add that there are still many happy couples that stay married forever...

Answer 10

The high divorce rate in western society is because women have become more independent - and most do not need a man to "keep" them....

Most women can support themselves somewhat...therefore don't have to put up with men's crap anymore - and aren't stuck in a rotten marriage.

Answer 11

I dont' really have an answer for you but i agree with most of what you say. Where is peoples integrity? When you get married you should be taking that decsion very seriously. Dont' get married if as soon as it gets tough (or as soon as someone more fun strikes your attention)!