Can I ever trust him again?

Question

in a heated fight one time, my bf said something derogatory to me about my body, and even though I am 33 and I can honestly say I am happy with my body as far as sexy goes, but ever since he said that to me, I know how he really feels and I do not want to push something on him he doesn't want, or is disgusting to him in any way. I have lost all confidence in the matter, yet his complaint is that I don't initiate. How can I when I don't think he finds me attractive? I feel embarrassed to let him see me naked. I want him to want me so bad, but I can't ask him to show me more affection when I know how he feels

Answer 1

Women have *huge* self-confidence issues about their bodies - cripes why do men think so many women want the lights out before they get naked?

For him to make a cutting remark about your body is just stupid. Like his dick is 11 inches of beautifully formed pure girl pleasure, and his tongue is tireless, and he gets a manicure so when he touches you there it's nice, and his breath doesn't stink, and he doesn't wash his a$s because if he touches himself there he thinks he's gay so his butt stinks, and he farts in bed, and his belly has fat on it, and his a$s sags a little, and he has bird-legs, and his chin is weak - I mean, how many things do you overlook of his that are physical imperfections?

So tell him, 'what you said was very hurtful (not you hurt me - don't let him know he can hurt you with words) so godd*mn it if we're going to play hardball about the whole body image thing then by god the gloves are off' and you'll start on his list of imperfections. And his little male ego won't be able to take the pain, believe me.

Otherwise tell him to take his rude teenaged comments about your a$s or your boobs or your cellulite and ram that egg right back up the chicken. If he thinks he can go bag a hot supermodel whose body if perfect, go for it - have at it. Otherwise shut up and enjoy the best sex west of the Mississippi, the ungrateful b*stard.

Answer 2

What I am disgusted about is how your bf has apparently undermined your confidence in yourself. You say you are happy with your body. And you do feel your sexy.

I don't know your style, or the particular part of the body you are talking about. But why don't you just start flaunting it. I'm not saying be trashy. But show what you got and put it to best advantage.

If you don't feel like initiating don't do it. And don't talk it to death--he will deny he really feels the way he said and you will not believe him.

See the kind of reaction you get from him and others when you start acting like you are confident with your body and then showing that is the case.

Even though right now you are not fully confident because of bf's idiot remark--ACT like you are. If you act that way eventually you will be. Really.

Answer 3

That's tough one good luck with that.

Prime example of why you shouldn't argue unless you know how, because you end up saying hurtful things and although you may not mean them, they still hurt and you can't take them back.

Arguing is a debate. Anyone who has to stoop to using personal attacks must have not had a good point to begin with. i.e. Your agruing about bills and he talks about your looks? Doesn't equal out. More I think about it, this was probably a sign of his true feelings. Now whether he is happy with you or not is a whole different thing, but this is definitely the way he views you.

Answer 4

We all make mistakes and say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Has he brought it up again? Is it something that can be changed?
Talk to him: He may not be able to apologize. Men often are not good at this. If its something that can't be changed and its an issue for him and you are OK with it. He has the problem and you don't need to do anything else other than look for a new guy. Trust is built over time so he will have to make it up to you not you to him.

Answer 5

a long time ago i was with someone that made a remark about my body while we were in an argument. guess what? i left him!! im sorry but i don't feel that when two people are in an argument either should make remarks about the other in a personal way. because that something that can never be forgotten,or taken back.

Answer 6

You know...a man who really loves you and cares about you...wouldn't say that, what he said obviosly means he doesn't care about you for who you are. Another thing could be...have you ever noticed when you fight with some one oyu say somethings that aren't true but you wanna "win" the fight so you say it anyways? That could be the reason. Just ask him see what he says, maybe it's just a missuderstanding.

Answer 7

it happens sometimes.. things get yelled out in an argument that were not meant to be said.

but let's keep it real he said it.. so he thinks it.

what did he say to you?

and if you like your body the way that it is. why change it?

ask yourself has he changed for you?

Answer 8

You stated the key fact yourself.
What was said was in a heated fight.
I seriously doubt if it is really how he feels.
You should bring this to his attention and discuss it w/o all the yelling and screaming.

Answer 9

Guys are such jerks sometimes. He might think you may be somewhat unhappy with that part of you so he might have said it to make you mad. Maybe you should just talk to him about it and tell him how you feel about what he said.

Answer 10

HONEY YOU CAN'T LET HIM TAKE YOU DOWN THAT ROAD IF YOU KNOW HOW YOU LOOK AND YOU FEEL A CERTAIN WAY ABOUT YOUR BODY DON'T LET NO ONE TAKE THAT FROM YOU. YOU DO NOT NEED ANYONE TO VALIDATE WHO YOU ARE AND HOW YOU LOOK BF OR NOT BE CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE WITH OR WITHOUT HIM.