I have been for years, long before she met him. 2 weeks ago, we were all partying and after she fell asleep, he and I talked. Nothing happened, but he told me that he had always wanted to be with me and would have chosen me over my friend, had he known I was interested. Since the alcohol was in affect, I told him I had been crazy about him for years too. He said that if I meant that, he would call the wedding off to be with me. What do I do? I am positive I am SO in love with him, but how could I hurt my friend?
2006-12-07 08:56:52 · 23 answers · asked by Brooke 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Let me just add, since everyone is saying I am such a horrible person. I have NOT done anything wrong, nor will I as long as they are together. I am just tired of crying over this.
2006-12-07 09:03:37 · update #1
slu#...dude just wants to do you.
2006-12-07 08:59:05 · answer #1 · answered by Natnic27 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to tell your best friend the truth, before she makes a big mistake. It would be crazy for her not to call off the wedding, because she will end up getting hurt by this man. I mean how much could he possibly care for her if he is willing to call off the marriage, only if you decide that you want to be with him. As far as you being with him, why would you want to be with a man that would toss someone he supposedly loves and cares about away for someone else, just that easily? Then again who knows, this might be fate.
2006-12-07 17:16:55 · answer #2 · answered by Barbi W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok I do not think you are a bad person for loving someone! You cant help who you love. Now how long have you had this friend. If it is forever then this may be harder. If she is a friend for a few years it is a little easier. You have to think about the rest of your life. If he likes you and he is going into this marriage it probably wont last long anyway. I think you really need to talk to this guy when there is no alcohol involved. You both need to seriously think about the pros and cons of him leaving her and or staying and getting married to her. I think you need to think about you. Do you really think if he left her that the two of you would end up together? Do you really think he will leave her? You really need to think about every aspect of this before you jump. Try to talk to him. And good luck!
2006-12-07 17:18:29 · answer #3 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's hard. She hasn't been with him as long as you have right? Do you like your friend more than your friend fiance? Do you think it will work out? Do you care about your friend more or her fiance? Have you and him have a bond?
If you said yes to three of the questions I think you should go for it. But remember to think about it. If you look back on this day will you be happy? Will you cry?
You could sit down with your best friend and talk about how you feel about the guy you both are in love with.
Either way good luck and I hope you make the right decision!
Please do not cry if you are right for him you will know. If you know he is not right for your friend you will know! You can'y control who you love. It's a natural thing.
If you are SO in love with him then call off the wedding!
Talk to your family and ask to your other friends. Tell them to not tell!
2006-12-07 17:07:27 · answer #4 · answered by Sara 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to tell him to make a decision without you being involed. If he does not want to marry your friend then he needs to tell her, but even if they break up you should side with your friend and never settle for her seconds. He really does not sound worth it and in the end you will be hurt. You did nothing wrong so keep it that way and just be there for your friend. No man is worth losing a friend over. Good luck.
2006-12-07 17:22:29 · answer #5 · answered by eeyoree rocks2003 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, im not going to sit here and tell you that youre a horrible person nor will i judge you because things happen and no one can or will they ever be able to control who they have feelings for or who they fall in love with but i will tell you this...
First and foremost, you should talk to your friend. As much as it hurts, you should let her know the truth. I dont know the whole situation so i dont know if she new that you liked him before they hooked up but if she did then thats also where the problem was and is but if she never knew your feelings for him then you should confess and be straight up with her. I cant tell you what should of or could of been done before becase its already done so theres no sense in dwelling on the past. Thats your bestfriend so bestfriends always try to be as honest as possible. I wouldnt tell her anything about your conversation with him. I would tell her my part and its up to you guys if you are going to remain friends or not. She will be hurt but at least you took that burden off your shoulders and as far as he goes...after im done talking with her, i would tell him that i talked to her and that now the ball is in his court. It would be up to him to tell her how he feels and to confess his secret. If he doesnt then you already know what type of person he is and if he does then at least both of you came clean and decisions can be made from there.
What happens from there? Nothing! You take it day by day and you make your decisons according to how everything plays out. You cant plan on how something is going to happen all the time because when feelings are involved, theres just no telling on whats going to happen but you can be prepared so if she does decide to stay with him even after everything then I would have no choice but to let it be because then that just means that he didnt bother to tell her how he feels about me and he really isnt a man if he decides to go through with it knowing that he has feelings for me and always remember that when a person makes a decision just because they feel sorry for someone then life will never be of good living for them. Growing up we will hurt some ppl but its sad to say that sometimes we have to do whats best for us. It sounds selfish but its reality. Im not saying that we should never take other ppls feelings into consideration, im saying that we cant always please everyone.
Notice on how i told you what i would do because at the end of the day youre going to do what you want and what you feel because thats just how life is, goodluck and i wish you the best in making your decision!
2006-12-08 10:01:39 · answer #6 · answered by Yari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont go there. I thought I was in love with my fiancee's best friend, at a party after too much drink we had a kiss and stuff. We organised for him to come over to my house one day while my fiancee was at work at "do the deed" when he arrived at my house I had decided that i couldn't do it. It was the smartest deciesion I have ever made.
If I did go through with it I would have spilt up his marriage (he has 2 kids aswell) I would have split up my realationship ( I have 2 kids aswell) I would have split up his friendship with my fiancee and I would have also spilt up my friendship with his wife that I must add is extremely strong.
Do yourself a favour dont go there the end result just isn't worth it, you might end up lossing both of them in your life.
2006-12-07 17:06:35 · answer #7 · answered by froglegs 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have said something way back when, and if you really cared about your friend you would have never told her fiancee how you felt about him.
You opened up a big can of nasty worms my dear, and you should be ashamed. I hope her fiancee calls off the wedding, for her sake. She will glad that she didn't end up married to a guy that doesn't know who he wants to be with........................
2006-12-07 17:14:12 · answer #8 · answered by P-Nut 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, they're not married yet so technically he's still fair game. Yet..you must think who is more important to you at this point, your friend or your hormones. This is really bad situation, but I think you should sit with this guy again.... no alcohol this time please... and talk it over again. he needs to be honest with you and himself. If he really would rather be with you, then he needs to call off the wedding because he will probably cheat on her with you eventually or someone else for that fact,and that will really hurt her. At this point he needs to be the one to break it to her and let her know he is not ready. Seriously, he isn't in love with her enough to marry her if he still has room in his heart or pants for you. Call off the wedding!!!
2006-12-07 17:06:08 · answer #9 · answered by candyred1999 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You could sit down with your best friend and talk about how you feel about the guy you both are in love with. If she's a good friend she should understand. I hope it works out. Best of luck to you~
2006-12-07 17:00:30 · answer #10 · answered by unreachable_shadows06 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is true love, as a best friend... it is not right to force someone in love with another to a wedding... calles for a divorce at a later date with lots of mess and heartache!
If I am your best friend... I will not want my fiance anymore knowing he loves another.
2006-12-07 17:02:19 · answer #11 · answered by lolitakali 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋