My boyfriend has been going through a difficult time as he is looking for a new job. He is not happy with his current one. He is looking for a job in my area. We are in a long-distance relationship. I am going to meet him tomorrow as he invited me to go to to his country for a weekend. His friend has a farewell party and he wanted me to be there for it. The thing is since he has been focusing on his job search, I feel like he has been neglecting me. He asked me to be patient, strong and to let him concentrate and we can relax this weekend together. The thing is I became needy of him in the past two days and he got very very angry with me two nights ago telling me that I have no respect for him and he said I don't support him at all and he told me if I don't stop annoying him, he will not talk to me anymore. I am so sad. I feel like he does not care about me anymore? What should I do please? I have not contacted him today. We are meeting tomorrow and he is angry with me.
2006-12-07 08:55:36 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is a scumbag..a coward who has fell out of love with you and is having an affair..dump him first he doesnt love you...you deserve much better.
2006-12-07 10:54:33 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok first off what I am going to tell you may not be what you want to hear but it is the Truth.
He asked you to be patient, strong, and allow him to focus on job seeking.
For some reason giving him a week of space seems like too much for you to honor.
That makes you look like a clingy codependant.
Maybe he was wrong by his choice of words but if you really want to keep this guy you should respect him enough to give him the space he needs.
Don't be sad.
But don't be so pushy and needy also.
You are sounding self centered if you feel 'neglected' because he is job searching for a few days.
I wish you the best of luck but girl...
You need to understand your relationship is still new and the precedent you set now is what it will be built on.
Back off and stop obsessing.
2006-12-07 09:12:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully he'll be in a better mood and be sorry for being harsh, but he has a fair point, as do you.
Firstly don't listen to the thick b1tch comments made by Skyhigh and other airheads above, your post shows that you are aware of what has happened and why it happened, and yes he can't expect to completely neglect you in favour of a job hunt, but us men are like that, we commit to a single task and give it 100% and need to block out all other things. Women b1tch and moan that we can't multi-task, but if a task is worth doing, it's worth doing right.
So yes you had a weak moment, you cracked and he snapped back, but you just need to talk it though and not be defensive or throw accusation. Just be mature and explain that you understand what he is going through, but that you do need reassurance from time to time, because if he can't maintain his love for you through hard times, there would be no point in being together, as it is the case of sharing strenght when times are hard that is the sign of a good relationship.
2006-12-07 11:55:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he's angry with you..I think he's frustrated with his current job..and looking for a new one...and here he thought you were the one thing that he didn't have to worry about and you turned needy and eager for his attention and he probably just wanted to scream...
just give him some space..go meet with him tomorrow..don't bring up all this that happened the past day or so...he doesn't need that and just basically CHILL
trust me..it can be done.
2006-12-07 09:10:11 · answer #4 · answered by joschaos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect is a two way street. If he expects you to respect the stress he is under, he needs to be mutually respectful to your feelings of missing him. Maybe you are both being a little selfish.
Welcome to the world of long distance relationships. This is why they are so difficult and why most of them end.
Be honest with yourself and if you find this happening on a regular basis, take it as a sign that you are not right for each other.
2006-12-07 09:13:41 · answer #5 · answered by Nuts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Snap out of it and give him some space. Are you telling me you can't go a day or two without bugging him? Get a life a.s.a.p., make some friends, develop hobbies. If he is ALL you ever think about, this isn't going to be a healthy relationship; you will become overbearing, and he'll get fed up with it quickly. You have to be your own person for other people to take interest in you.
2006-12-07 09:02:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read the other answers, and boy do you need someone who knows what he is talking about here. You need to understand that men get a tremendous amount of their self respect/esteem from their work. it is often the thing they use to measure their value. many cultures measure a man's value by his work. He may have a tremendous amount of himself invested in the kind of work he does, especially if he is a tradesman or professional. He may think you won't value him if he cannot get money and the things it will buy. I have seen guys dumped because they lost their jobs. maybe he has too. Please don't jump to any conclusions about his motives.
2006-12-07 09:14:10 · answer #7 · answered by whiterook 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this but you are being rather selfish. Everyone goes through patches where they're worrying about something and it's at these times that our partners are supposed to be there to love and support us unconditionally. When things are sorted there'll be plenty of time for him to spend with/on you. You need to wait until then and put his needs first.
2006-12-07 09:01:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you were not being very considerate or understanding if you knew he was having a difficult time with his job search and you called that neglecting you. You should apologize and hope he forgives you.
2006-12-07 08:58:36 · answer #9 · answered by Sabine É 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first you need to back off a little he's not going anywhere its not like he moved all that way for nothing. He needs to take care of his business so let him don't be like that look at the bigger picture. when he gets his job and is stable everything will go back to normal. so just be pateint and support your man
2006-12-07 09:08:11 · answer #10 · answered by portia b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you should be strong for yourself as well. If you need to let him be, you go just do that. Let him know that you are still coming and this sort of petty fight shouldn't come between you. Just tell him if he doesn't understand your need now, you are just wasting you time flying over there.
2006-12-07 16:02:34 · answer #11 · answered by Macky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋