I started dating a Muslim man over one year ago. When we met I was allowed to be the real me. Now, I have changed many things from moving, not working, dressing differently, not wearing makeup, and doing everything he asks without question. I fell in love with him from the beginning and he was wonderful. He seems to follow the culture more so than the religion. I need some insight to what he expects from me and why I cannot be the person I was from the start that he fell in love with as well. Now I do not have a voice and he is always right with any opinion. He still gives me what I want and does treat me well but this is only if I follow his lead and ask no questions. I am not sure if the way he treats me now is based on feelings that he lost although he does not say or this is the way it will be and I am seeing true colors. I know Muslim men respect their women but I do not see this anymore after our year plus living together. Insight from the Muslim community would be helpful.
2006-12-07 08:29:36 · 6 answers · asked by kincaid 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I can not say you more rather than this that if you love him, you have to follow him in every thing as this is not only the culture of Muslims, but this is the religion of Muslims.
One thing is clear in your relation that he loves you more as he is caring about you and asking to do what he likes in you.
If he does not love you, he could leave you on your choice, he will not care for you.
But if he is asking you to do the things which are against your honour or like that or which is not in Islam, then you have to leave him.
Islam is not forcing for any thing...
Choice is yours!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-07 08:43:23 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. Aabroo Aman 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
There is no such thing as a Muslim culture. Muslims are from all different cultures and different countries. I'm a Scottish Muslim i doubt your boyfriend has the same cultural background as me. I dont know why your boyfriend has changed because only you know him. My husband is a Muslim and does not act in this way. He respects my opinion and in Islam we are equal. I take it you are not a Muslim? From the beginning you should have questioned why he wanted you to change these things and if you didn't agree, why change. Someone whether they be a Muslim man a christian man an atheist man will walk all over you if you lie down like a door mat and let them. If you love him be honest with him, tell him its not working for you and if he is not willing to meet you have way, you have to walk out the door. You are not married or have children and have no obligation to him. Sorry i cant help you more on the religious side as i feel it has nothing to do with the religion. Good luck.
2006-12-07 08:41:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
When you say "He seems to follow the culture more so than the religion. ", what cultural background is he from? Because if you look at it from another point of view, Islam is a huge part cultural. I am an American Muslim convert. I converted to Islam in May 2006, and 3 months later met my future husband who is also Muslim, and a foreigner to the U.S.A., and we married 4 months after meeting. The biggest cultural difference I have had to accustom myself to, is the idea that women can not speak to or socialize with men, and preferably not too many non-Muslim women, because of the possiblity of questionable interactions, and naughty behavior or thoughts. I am a big mouth, and say anything to anybody, with out thinking, and this has been hardest. I think as a whole, Muslim men are very family-oriented, and extremely protective of their wives, and children if there are any children. I think his true colors are exactly as you said. He was you to sit back and relax, and let him take the lead. If you love him and trust him, and he is a good Muslim at heart, he will not make bad decisions concerning you, and will not put you in harm's way. Have you thought of converting to his religion....or even learning all about Islam so you can make an educated decision? Educate yourself on his religion, and cultural upbringing , and I think you will better understand where he is coming from as a man. Good Luck!
2006-12-07 08:42:28 · answer #3 · answered by April 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Kincaid, I am married to a Muslim man and I have not experienced this kind of treatment from my husband. Perhaps this is just an isolated case. I will keep watch to hear what other Muslim women say.
God bless.
2006-12-07 08:36:01 · answer #4 · answered by terryoulboub 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say he respects you, but he doesn't. You have changed not because you wanted to, but because he wanted you to. You also said he gives you what you want and treats you well, but again, there are strings attached. You have to do what he wants you to do for that to happen. Think about it. What would happen if you just started being you again? Do you really think he'd be okay with that? I bet he wouldn't.
I'm not a Muslim, but I am giving you advice from one American woman to another. If you want to be yourself, and keep any sense of independence, this is not the man for you.
2006-12-07 08:38:39 · answer #5 · answered by Taffi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sister if he loves u and treat u well only if u ask no question and follow his lead , i think that isnot love and u shouldn't cancel ur opinion, i think u should put an end to this , i mean to know what he is planning for ur lives together, what in his mind!!
may god help u!
2006-12-07 08:38:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋