I'll try to make this short. My sister is engaged to a man. His ex wife left him for another man that she met on the internet. She went to live in another state and left the 2 boys with him. Now the boys are having problems, especially the oldest (hes 14) He wants to go live with his mother in this other state, but his dad really doesnt want him to. The big problem? The son has started cutting himself on purpose and tells his friends that he hates his dad! The mom is some gothic person that has turned this boy that way also.The dad has a problem with him going because he doesnt want to pay her child support. She is the one that left to begin with and now he's having to deal with all these problems. He is a wonderful dad and loves his kids more than anything. I should say that he wouldnt mind paying child support but he has a good job, and she doesnt so he'll end up paying alot. Does anyone have any good advice for him? Should he let him go?
2006-12-07 08:27:37 · 9 answers · asked by pebbles 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should add that they've already tried counseling. Didnt work.
2006-12-07 08:33:11 · update #1
He really hates his mom for leaving not the dad for taking care of him. Mom is far away and becomes the worshipped parent, but the reality of it is mom doesn't want to take care of the kids. If she did, she would have made better arrangements. Under no circumstances should he pay a dime in child support for his son to go live with his mother. She ran off with another man. Children always feel they are at fault. I would suggest individual and family counseling for all.
2006-12-07 08:35:36 · answer #1 · answered by Your #1 fan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go, and pay the child support. It's cheaper. His son will never have a change to say his daddy didn't want him. Sometimes when you love someone the best thing to do is to give them the thing that will hurt them and then they will see it wasn't you at all, it was them. I said it's cheaper because he will not have to deal with all the problems that will come out of his anger. The son will see his mother for what she really is.
2006-12-07 08:36:53 · answer #2 · answered by Honesty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have them try family counseling. If for no other reason the father will understand y his son is cutting. I feel that he resents his mother for leaving but instead of taking it out on her he is taking it out on his father. Also there might be no change of child support if he does let the one son go. She will have one son and he will still have the other. Kind of like an even trade...good luck
2006-12-07 08:33:46 · answer #3 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If this boy is cutting himself there are some serious issues here and his father needs to get him into counseling immediately. The kid is deeply disturbed and frankly, cutting is often a sign that there is or has been sexual abuse. No not always - but often.
2006-12-07 08:35:15 · answer #4 · answered by hoosiergal0946 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-14 05:35:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww that is such a shame. How could she just leave her kids? IDK - I am not here to judge her so I'll just shut my mouth. Seriously, he needs to sit down and have a heart to heart with the kid. I hope it all works out...... the boy probably thinks things would be better living with Mom but really, it wouldn't be. Good luck.
2006-12-07 08:39:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no.I don't think he should let his son go, I think he should get him in to some counseling and see how things go from there,try different options befor he just lets him go, good luck..
2006-12-07 09:18:06 · answer #7 · answered by juicy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he should move himself and the children to the same town as she is living now. next door if possible!
2006-12-07 08:31:26 · answer #8 · answered by curious george 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
family counceling.
2006-12-07 08:30:17 · answer #9 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋