hi there, would love some advice on this as its too embarrassing to discuss with friends, have been married a year and a half and am 5 months pregnant, our sex life is good and quite adventurous or at least I thought so,but i recently found porn downloaded on his labtop.....i feel decieved,hurt and inadaquate and look at him differently now...i mean if he was satisifed he wouldnt do this....would he??...is this normal for guys coz i kinda thought only dirty old men or curious teens dabbled in that sort of thing....am i over-reacting?? please help.
2006-12-07 08:07:13 · 14 answers · asked by nat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
As long as the porn doesn't become a substitute for your sex life then you have nothing to worry about. It really is a guy thing, and this is coming from a guy. It has nothing to do whith how he views you or your sex life. I don't know why we are so into porn, but we are. If you are that uncomfortable, then please talk to him about it.
2006-12-07 08:27:31 · answer #1 · answered by JB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-20 12:40:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men do this all the time. don't take it as an insult, or that he's not satisfied. chances are when he sees that material it just heightens his desire for you.
Men think about sex a lot. and sometimes we aren't near to calm the mind so the porn comes in, which in a way kinda rescues you, imagine if you were non stop available for sex or sex like visions he wanted at any given time of the day, how exhausting will that be!
Please don't worry, if you know that your man loves you and have no good reason to suspect him of otherwise, then just let it go. you can talk to him about it since it makes you feel uncomfy, but don't attach any feelings to it. He MARRIED YOU. not anyone else.
good luck with this and the baby!
2006-12-07 08:22:26 · answer #3 · answered by myfianceisamonkey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looking at porn is completely normal for men. Men are visual creatures, where women are more hands on. Did you ever think that maybe your sex life is adventurous at times because he's learning new things from this. I'm sure you see handsome men and look at them from time to time. You are married, not dead. You have no reason to feel inadequate. Those women are nothing but a fantasy, and chances are he really wouldn't want them in real life. Just take a deep breath and calm down. I wouldn't think you'd have anything to worry about unless he's looking at porn, and you have no sex life.
2006-12-07 08:12:37 · answer #4 · answered by GAgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men like looking at porn because it makes them feel MANLY. Some because they think they need it in order to perform. On some occasions men do it as a sort of bonding and camaraderie with other males, and yet others just because they like looking. Some wives and partners look at porn with their husbands - some don't. Some women take against it and feel like its a slurr on them and get to thinking that their partners are comparing them with the air brushed pictures in the magazine and its makes them feel inferior. People usually tell lies or hide the truth when they are frightened of the consequences of the truth coming out. I really - seriously, do NOT think he is comparing you unfavorably. I think its just one of those immature things men feel they should be doing now they THINK they have grown up. I would be more worried about him being sneaky than anything. I really think you need to talk to him about this. If its getting out of hand - so to speak - then there are issues to be addressed. If it worries you to a great extent then maybe your feelings of insecurity need to be discussed and you need reassuring. Could there be a compromise maybe? He doesn't sneak and has a set time when he is permitted to look at these images, and you don't go stalking after him and rooting in his History? Chances are if he doesn't feel he is "sneaking" then the glamor will wear off.
2016-05-23 04:22:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men enjoy porn at any age, and as long as it's just looking, it's harmless enough. I'm a retired psychologist and worked with couples, this issue was one I heard nearly every day. As long as your sex life is good you have nothing to worry about. I wouldn't say you are over-reacting, I'd just say you are under advised, add in that you are pregnant with see-sawing hormones and I'd say you are both emotionally healthy. Try not to let this worry you too much, it's not good for you or the baby. Talk to your husband, as kindly as possible if it continues to upset you. Communication, open, honest and without anger is key to any lasting relationship. Good Luck.
2006-12-07 08:19:24 · answer #6 · answered by Daydream Believer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there. Right where you are at right now and it hurts. Your feelings are relevant. You need to let him know that you found out. Try to be calm about it and let him know how it has made you feel and why is he doing it? The best advice I can give that helped me thru this was finally realizing that even though what he done hurt me, it didnt make me any less beautilful. There is nothing wrong w/ me. Dont let this hurt your self esteem, he is the one that is apparently feeling inadequate!
2006-12-07 08:23:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really it depends. Most guys look at porn. Its just a guy thing. I guess it just depends on how you feel about porn. I look at it with my husband because its interesting. If you are really against it talk to him about it. If not then maybe you could look at it with him. Sometimes guys look at it to see what kinds of things turn women on. They usually don't do it because the person they are with doesn't satisfy them but just because they like it.
2006-12-07 09:23:38 · answer #8 · answered by Jesse's Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be very upset, it's like he's hiding something from you or he would've told you about it. it's nothing but a load of crap to say that porn is ok, it's not. it's degrading to woman and it's addictive, i have a brother in law that's addicted to it and won't have anormal relationship because it's given him strange ideas about how women "should" be. talk to him soon and tell him how you feel.
2006-12-07 08:50:25 · answer #9 · answered by inluvwithb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, you have all of the rights to get upset! Just tell him, hey! don't hide them, but let's share. Is it the way all married couple do? You two will have a wonderful...satisfied... lives together!
2006-12-07 08:36:09 · answer #10 · answered by dr_dtran@rogers.com 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋