Afraid husband is chatting with a 16 year old?

Question

My husband and I are currently seperated and live in seperate homes, I have recently checked our phone bill online (we have cells and a joint account) and he has been talking to someone on the phone in another state, in the middle of the night, for up to 4 hours at a time. I was curious, so I made a new email account and starting chatting with him as if I were a stranger (please dont preach at me for that) and I believe the girl he is chatting with on and offline is under 18, I actually believe she is around 16. I dont want him to get in serious trouble for this, but he needs to stop this before he does actually get in trouble, or before he does something awful. Obviously if there is nothing else I can do, other than report him I would, I would never put a child at risk, EVER. Is there ANYTHING i can do to scare him into stopping this now? I believe this her private phone line, it is a land line. (I did a reverse phone search.) Im unsure if the girl knows his real age, or not.

I am NOT trying to ok what he is doing, and I am NOT ok with it. I am more concerned about HER than him, and I dont have any proof she is under 18, just a suspicion, and I dont know if she knows his real age either.

Obviously if he is doing this, we are not staying married.

Answer 1

It really is kind of crazy.
But before you go blowing the whistle, you need more details.


Is he breaking any laws? Are you SURE she's 16? Or is she 18? Where do you live? Did you know in some states, the legal age for consent is 16? Just check up on the facts of your state and find out how old she is before blowing the whistle. I'm not saying what he's doing is right, I'm just saying that you want to be sure of things if you report anything.

Answer 2

I would call the number when its "school time" and see if some one is home...

If its "her", I would explain who I was and what I was doing and why I called. Explain that you think your "ex" is calling thier daughter, (that is if your not talking to the person whom the hubby is calling already), and your concerned about this being a possible child molestation case!

But, if you get the person who he "is" talking to, and its not a child, then you are going to end up with egg all over your face, and he is going to be infuriated!!

Its a very serious case, and you will be the "bad guy" in all instances... So, be prepared to take the fall one way or the other, because both parties will label you the pariah and you will be scorned by the hubby and his "new babe".

Also remember this, just because your "seperated" and living in seperate houses, your not legally divorced, so, what "he" does is a reflection upon your reputation!! His credit goes down, and so does yours, he goes to jail and yours is smeared all over the news for this... Its an ugly scene either way...

I wish you well..

Jesse

Answer 3

"woodworking" had an almost good response. so say you do call during school hours, no one picks up, (make sure your in the right time zone if its state to state) and then call back later in hopes the girl will pick up. if she does i would discuss with her about your husband, tell her he is no good news and his age. however I am a 16 year old girl and it is very easy at my age to be blinded by a fling with someone. she might not belive you. or she may lie. in this case if you are almost sure your instincts are true contact authorities. trust your gut instinct. but if you think you might be a tad jealous of your husband or hurt your view could be somewhat blinded as well (my mom is divorced and I think I see that sometimes) In any case i would call this girl/person and try to tell them no matter the consequences because i would have sure appreaciated someone getting involved at times as a 16 year old even though i wont admit it.

if you didnt read above mainly contact authorities....it could make the world of a difference even with the risk you could be wrong.

Answer 4

Well, I think you're being very considerate of him while trying to do the right thing.

Telling your husband that you know what he's up to might only make him more secretive.

Try sending him articles about what the FBI does to guys to try to meet minors in person, etc. Maybe he's deluding himself and needs a jolt of reality.

But I think the most effective thing is to call the girl and tell her what's up. She will probably be disgusted that she is talking to someone that much older than she is and currently married too. It might be a good lesson for her, too.

Answer 5

Since when was it illegal to talk to a 16 year old? Why do you care? No, he can't get into trouble for this, because it is NOT illegal. Ever heard of freedom of speech? If this is happening in America, he has it. The only thing that would be illegal is if he propositioned her for sex, or talked about sex in a lewd manner. However, at no point in your question do you state that he has done either of those things or is planning to do so. So butt out. It's none of your business. Unless you are aware that he has a history of child molestation, you are overreacting.

Answer 6

I am sorry to tell you there is only ONE thing you can do and that is If you really suspect him you MUST report it to the police.

They will investigate and MAYBE it's nothing and she is 22 or older.

IF however she IS underage YOU are now an accomplice and just as responsible as him if that CHILD is harmed.
Your posting here means you REALLY want to do something and it also means it IS ON RECORD and the police will find out you knew in advance if ANYTHING does happen.

Please do the right thing and report him, to not only save a child but to save yourself as well.

PS as I said she is most likely legal age, but can YOU really take that chance.

Answer 7

Do NOT GIVE HIM TIME TO DO SOMETHIN TERRIBLE. Take the motem to someone who knows how to check for these things cause i am tellin you if he is talkin to this child and he has child porn on your computer you could get in trouble too and do youreally want to be with someone like that i know he's your husband but that is sick If you can find somebody who knows how to check and you can trust them have them find the emails and print them out and show them toh him or blluff and tell him you broke into his account and found it also if you can get into hismessenger go to his archive and change the setting to save all conversations to folder only you know about that's what i did to my brother-n-law cause he ran my phonebill up to 500 dollars on 900 numbers

Answer 8

If he has done it to one, he will do it to another and then another. You cant scare him into stopping this behavior, it will always rear its ugly head. Its a sickness, an addiction he obviously cannot control. Would you like some perv doing this to YOUR daughter. Its your responsiblity to turn him in if you know what is going on. Find out the facts first and take action. Some young girls parents will thank you highly for this.

Answer 9

He needs to get in trouble for this. Its the only thing that might stop him from doing it in the future. I would rat his *ss out immediately. Have you ever had a man do this to you when you were 16 ? He needs to get in trouble. If he doesn't see the problem in talking to a 16 yr old then that means he is sick.

Answer 10

He might have problems?? Sex addictions... I know alot of people don't agree that sex addictions is really an "addiction". You know he might end up on Dateline to Catch a predator... You never know. If you are gonna talk to him about it...he will probably be on the defensive. If he chatted with you under a false name there is no telling what else he is doing. Talk to him...