If you teach elementary school, I could really use your help...?

Question

I need advice about how to build a constructive dialogue with my son's 1st-grade teacher. She's a really nice person and tries hard, but she and I disagree on some things and I'd like to be able to discuss those things respectfully but also openly. So I'd like a teacher's perspective on the best way for a parent to approach the issue when there is some disagreement. I have HUGE respect for teachers--my mom taught for over 40 years and if she were still around, I know she'd give me good advice. But will you give me yours instead? Please, only if you yourself are a teacher. Thank you.

Answer 1

I think any discussion like this always starts off best when you start off with a positive, so tell this teacher the things you like first. Assure the teacher that this isnt a personal attack, but rather a discussion between the two most important adults in your child's education. Then, have an agenda. This ensures that you stick to the topic, and the topic is ideas to help your child. I would even go as far as to request to eithe rhave an administrator present or agree to take and sign notes to prevent any future conflicts of,"Well I thought we agreed...." Alot of it depends on what the problems are as well. I would alsomake sure you assure the teacher that you arent trying to tell him or her how to do their job, but since you are the parent it is your obligation to address concerns if you have them. Allow the teacher to come up with solutions before you suggest them, i.e. state a specific problem and ask if he/she has any ideas. This allows the teacher to feel less threatened. I think mostof us teachers are closet control freaks and easily get defensive when someone tries to tell us how to run our classroom. Finally, if you can't reach an agreement, then tell the teacher as nicely as you can that you will speak to the principal about your concerns to see if he/she has any odea sof how to break the deadlock. If your child has a disability make sure that you understand your rights under IDEA. Good luck. I hope this helps.

Answer 2

I'm retired now, but I spent all my working life in the education system.

It would be easier to help you if you said what the differences are. Start by asking for a meeting so that you can both sit quietly and talk. Don't try to start the discussion with kids around. Make sure that you tell her what you have told us - that you have respect for her, etc.

Have research with you to support your side of the argument and ask for her reasons for her way of doing things. Avoid being confrontational - try to figure out why she believes as she does.

Have you talked over these differences of opinion confidentially with another teacher, such as some colleague of your mom's? It might be a good idea to get another teacher's perspective on the specific issues.

Sorry I can't be of more help without knowing more about the issues. I expect though that she will be open to a discussion of whatever the problem is if you approach it diplomatically and with some sensitivity. Best of luck.

Answer 3

It's hard to say without knowing what it is you disagree about, but the first thing I would say is, as a teacher, whenever I have to talk to parents, the first thing I try to do is reassure them that we are both on the same side - wanting the best for the child. If you could approach your conversation with your son's teacher in the same manner, I am sure you will get off on the right foot. Take your time to hear her reasons for whatever it is she is doing that you disagree with and then suggest why you feel another way could be more productive. I welcome input from parents, especially when it is presented in a constructive way. I am sure that she will too. Hope it goes well.

Answer 4

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