????Lonely????????

Question

My husband is a construction worker and works out of town about 4 months of the year. I'm so loney when he's gone. He says he misses me wants to be home but he has friends that he works with and therefore has people to talk to when he's gone (they share hotel rooms). I manage a insurance agency and am with clients all day but when I get home it's loney to sit in the house all alone. When I go to a friends house of a relative's house to chit-chat so I won't be alone he gets angry and says I'm never home. When I try to explain to him that I'm loney in the house alone he doesn't believe me. How do I get him to understand how loney I really am?????

I have a cell phone. It's not about reaching me he wants me to be at home.

Answer 1

I have personal experience with this (Big Super means the Big Superintendent - I do construction travel as well).Traveling while married requires a great amount of trust between two people. I have to trust my wife that she's not running around on me, and vice versa. It's hard, there's no doubt about that. In addition, we both have to have a life. I'm required to entertain clients, which means I usually go to bars / pubs and hoist a few. My wife knows this. I know that she has to have a life, so she goes out with girlfriends to eat and to shows. I have no problem with this.

Your husband is afraid that you are cheating on him. That's why he calls you on the home phone line. That way, he knows your home. You have every right to go out with friends / family, and no one expects you to sit at home twiddling thumbs waiting on his call. However, you need to be honest with him and tell him what you are doing. Address his concerns. If he is concerned that you are cheating on him, let him bring it up (if you do - he'll be convinced that you are having an affair). Then, address his concerns the best that you can.

Good luck, I hope it all works out.

Answer 2

Sounds as though you have done the best thing which is to tell him. However, you might ask him this. If you were alone in this house and I was gone for 4 months on the job, what would you do? Would you stay in this house all alone all the time after you got off work or would you go out sometimes with some friends of yours or see some of your family? Do you think I would want you to be lonely and miserable and unhappy? Is that what you want me to be? Question him and see what he says. Sometimes you have to put the shoe on the other foot.

Answer 3

Sorry to tell you, dear, but your husband is an insensitive jerk. Construction jobs are a dime a dozen. They are all over. He can easily get a job in your community. So the question is, "Why does he want to be away from you for four months a year and why doesn't he get a job closer to home?" What kind of man would want to be away from the woman he loves, if he can help it, for four months? There is obviously more going on here. Is he cheating on you? Probably. Does he go out, get drunk with his dumb buddies and pick up women? Probably. Sorry, but your days of being married are numbered...

Answer 4

Still young? Become a campfollower: sell or rent out the house, if you have one, buy a motorhome or a trailer and go with him!! That way, if the jobs allow (see agencies) you can travel all over. In engineering, it is called 'jobshopping'. PS. You can then work through a temp. agency.

Answer 5

get a plane tix or get in your car at least every other mos. out of the four mos. he is there. Surprise him. Call in advance and rearrange his rooming conditions where it will be just the 2 of u. get there b/f he gets off and set up the room or request a honeymoon suite or have his co-workers set him up to meet you at a restaurant. Tell them to tell him that a girl wants to meet him that has been admiring him from a "distance" , she knows that he is marrried but just would like to meet him; that's when you pop up. If he can't come to you, you go to him. Have fun!

Answer 6

Wow.....Surly he does not expect you to set at home alone every night? He must know how lonely it would have to be. I would suggest that the two of you sit down, face to face and you talk to him. Tell him what you have just told us. Sounds like you both need to communicate with one another before this relationship ends up doing that...... ending.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Try to reassure him that you are not doing anything wrong he maybe worried because his lovely bride is all alone if you can ashore him that you would never do anything to jeopardize your marriage it might help I think that he is afraid that when you are not home you might be up to no good so you must reassure him that is not nor will never be the case

Answer 8

Tell him when he comes home, he is not to ever see anyone or go anywhere, he must stay inside the house. He said it so he can set the example.

Answer 9

you shouldn't have to explain or justify going to hang out with friends or family!! Don't tell him you're lonely (lonely leads to cheating) just tell him you have a life that includes other people! What, does he call and get upset that you're not at home? That is just possessive & controlling and that is not healthy.

Answer 10

Sweetie your husband is having another relationship. He is making you think that he is worry about where you are so you don't have time to worry about where he is. If he loves you, not a job in this world would keep him away for 4 months. Think about it. Take care of yourself. Take time to love you. Hurting people, hurt people.