Both of them have stopped talking to me because of my new boyfriend, one claims she liked him first but she didn't, i did. the other is mad because she is mad. I read this composition book they were writing in and found out the real reason was not because of my boyfriend but she resented my out of jealousy and her OWN low self esteem. i want to fix this but i dont know how. should i comfort her about her insecurities or let her be childish and move on with my new boyfriend. i care about him alot and i'd rather have both my friends and my boyfriend but under the circumstances they dont deserve to be chosen over him. i just need to hear some feedback to help me deal with this.
2006-12-07 07:13:39 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
go with the boyfriend. friends come and go for all kinds of reasons. sometimes you just outgrow them.
2006-12-07 07:16:54 · answer #1 · answered by Tom B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relationships seem to affect a lot of people's existing friendships. New boyfriends or girlfriends are the same for everybody. They're exciting and different. It makes the current friendships seem old or boring in comparison.
Recognize first, whether or not it was your fault that your friends broke the ties. If you TRULY believe that you did nothing wrong, then it's only up to you to make it clear to them that you don't want your friendship to end. Email, greeting card or a regular letter. Let them know that friends are supposed to be forever. Relationships come and go. If this thing with this new guy goes south(let's hope not, but hey, let's keep it real...) then you'll need support afterwards from the people that have been there with you before and during. If they want to continue being difficult, then you don't need to sweat not having friends like that. Go out with your boyfriend and meet some new friends. Good luck.
2006-12-07 07:25:41 · answer #2 · answered by anita_peter_hunglow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate how girls are so petty. any friend that would stop talking to you over a man is not even necessary to have in your life. My bestfriend for 10 years stopped talking to me because she hates my boyfriend. What does that have to do witth me? Anyway if you really care about them. Give it time, she'll either come around or she won't. Wait a while and then put in the effort to try to mend things. If she's being a ***** about it then suck it up and find better friends. Oh p.s. the other one is being stupid, don't even worry about her, it's between you and friend 1 , if she wants to jump on the band wagon than she can find petty people tohang out with not you.
2006-12-07 07:18:38 · answer #3 · answered by LoveLeighe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes in life long friendships end - and thats OK!! As you age (well in my experience) you learn to appreciate that you can have the most amazing time with someone you meet for 1 day and never see again..... Just because you have known someone for a long time (5,10, 20 etc years) does not mean you have to continue knowing them. People's interests and personalities change over the years and maybe theres nothing in common anymore but the past. Its ok to decide yourself that you dont need to be friends with people anymore. Maybe its time you let this friendship go and continue your journey in life with new people?
2006-12-07 07:19:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, these "friends" are not true friends. Friends are happy for eachother when something good happens to the other, (like a great new boyfriend), and they don't let petty, immature issues like jealousy get in the way of friendship. It sounds to me like you are more mature and your "friends" are childish. I know it's hard to throw away friendships that you have spent so much time building, but these people are not your friends.
2006-12-07 07:19:51 · answer #5 · answered by freakindasheets 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all it sounds like you are in about the 8th grade the way things sound here. It depends on how much you value their friendship, if this guy is worth losing friends over and if you are at an age where this could be "the one" then follow your heart. But if you break up with him, given the chance will either of them go out with him?? I would try to talk it out with both of them.
2006-12-07 07:17:29 · answer #6 · answered by hopetohelpyou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've already tried I'd let it go. If you haven't tried to mend the ties you could give it a shot... however if she's really that jealous everything you say will come out negatively no matter how well you say it. I think it's pretty hurtful really to treat you badly because of her own issues when she should be happy for you.
2006-12-07 07:17:14 · answer #7 · answered by Greske 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the same thing happened to me, they were jealous of my boyfriend so they stopped talking to me. It's not a good feeling but honestly as we get older some best of friends tend to go their seperate ways. So just move on with your b-friend and be happy with him you'll meet new friends.
2006-12-07 07:18:21 · answer #8 · answered by sillyme24 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friendship is just like a Relationship, it should just work! You have to make sacrafices and changes in both types of relationships but you shouldnt have to work so hard at it. and friends should be forgiving. and if she cant put everything aside and still be your friend then its time to move on.
2006-12-07 07:17:43 · answer #9 · answered by yacayac2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they are just because they dont have one tell her to grow up and find a boyfriend and if they were some friends they would be happy for you.
2006-12-07 07:28:16 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Natasha♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your friends should have a long talk...go somewhere neutral..go out to eat together..the mall..etc..and allow each side to say thier part..once this is all done, you will know where your friendship stands..
2006-12-07 07:18:03 · answer #11 · answered by Fabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋