How do Debates work in the House of Commons?

Answer 1

Your question is a little too broad right now.

To pass into law a Bill needs 3 readings in the H of C plus Royal Assent and Proclamation.

To begin, a Bill is introduced and recives first reading.
The following day is all goes as it should, it comes up for second reading. This is debate in principle, does the House generally agree with the direction of the Bill. The mover speaks first and debate at second reading goes on, with the the mover also getting the last speech to close the debate. How long the House will debate some item is a matter of scheduling and agreement between the parties.

During debate generally the speaker has a limited amount of time. Sometimes but now always there is an opportunity to pose questions to the mover of the Bill.

Eventually, the debate at second reading and the House votes on whether the Bill is accepted in principle. If it is, it then goes to Committee for detailed (clause by clause) anlaysis, amendments may be made, and following this it brought back to the House for Third Reading Debate. Once again, a round of debate, mover opening and closing it time limited, only now the debate may range all over the place (the House rules on relevancy are not strictly kept). Vote on third reading, and Bill is passed if the votes are there.

Answer 2

Labour MP says how wonderful everything is
Conservative MP says what a load of rubbish
Labour MP blames previous Conservative government for all its problems (nearly 10 years after they were last in power)
Backbenchers jeer and hoot like a bunch of schoolboys
Liberal Democrat MP stands up and agrees with everyone
Labour MP says "I refer the honourable gentleman to the comments I made some moments ago"
SNP MP demands Independence for Scotland
John Prescott wakes up with a start and mumbles "Where the fook am I? Is me tea ready yet?"
The Speaker shouts "Order, order"
They all go to the bar and congratulate themselves on what a wonderful job they are all doing

Answer 3

They don't work (and MP's don't deserve a payrise)!
Most pictures of parliament in session (apart from PM question time) show a maximum of twelve MP's in the house - if they're running our country then why aren't they all there?!

Answer 4

One set of sheep baaar at another set of sheep opposite.
The set of sheep who baaar the loudest, buy the drinks in the House of Commons bar afterwards.

Answer 5

The arseholes shout at each other for a few hours. Walk through a door and head for the pub.

Answer 6

Anything which takes the limelight off tax loopholes, offshore tax havens,immigration,obscene wages,people dying of cold and hunger etc.

Answer 7

goes like this

old smelly male presents case about nothing very important

people say here or noooooo

then law is passed

politics rubbish

Answer 8

simple answer is they dont, its like watching a bunch of spastics

Answer 9

'Mark J' has said all that is necessary if somewhat humorously.

Answer 10

think its pretty much a free for all