Is this a good idea???

Question

I am seeing this guy, Chad, who has two daughters....Neveah who is 2 and La'Ree who is 14 months and yet I have a 7 month old daughter, Shyloh,...........and I am also 9 weeks pregnant! I NEED MAJOR HELP!!!!!!!! Is it a good idea to stay with Chad and bring this upon him or just keep it to myself and break it off. We have been together for 3 and a half months and things are perfect the way they are and yet, I refuse an abortion! What should I do???

Answer 1

You are whats wrong with America.....

Answer 2

I think that you should talk to Chad. You and he are both busy with children and now you are bringing another innocent life into the mix you sound immature to want to leave a man that seems perfect and you are pregnant by, but yet you want to leave.... You are 9 weeks pregnant and you have only known this person for 3 1/2 months I cant tell you what to do but I hope you become more mature in time and learn that babies dont mean love. Birth control can and does fail so I wont say use birth control becuase you may have but I think you should make the best out of this very stressful situation.

Answer 3

Well, I'd say start saving your money!! That's a lot of babies, and money is inevitably going to get really tight REALLY fast. Does your boyfriend support the two children he already has? If so, then this would be a good indication of how he will support you and your soon to be new addition. If he knows that you are pregnant and that you have every intention of keeping and raising the child, then you really need to commit to each other and decide on a plan. Who will work? How will you arrange for childcare, if you choose to go work post-partum? Just because you are pregnant and have small children DOESN'T mean that ya'll aren't going to succeed as a couple. Think about this: Many, many couples have twins, even triplets! They somehow manage to pull it off, and when two adults commit to stick together and love each other AND each other's children, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Now, times will be rough at first, and that's when you need the love and support of your families. Ask in advance if your boyfriend's mother would be willing to help with the newborn. Chances are, she will and it will be a valuable resource to your situation. Will your mom help too? I bet she will, and she'll probably have a hard time leaving you at the end of the day once she starts caring for that new baby. Shop at Wal-Mart to save as much as possible, and start asking friends and relatives if they would donate some of their kids' gently used clothes and shoes to your new blended family. Try and cut out extra expenses whenever possible. Be aware of cost-cutting ways to lower your utility bills. Start teaching the small kids that you guys already have to pick up their own messes, and reward them for being cooperative. You guys can do this, but you MUST both be committed to the goals you set for your family. I sure wish you luck, and trust me: When there's a will, there's ALWAYS a way!! ♥♥♥

Answer 4

"Bring this upon him"?! If the child is his, how exactly are YOU burdening HIM? Last I checked does conception not involve both a male and female? Since you've already decided not to have an abortion, I think the man you are involved with (and the father - if not one-in-the-same) have the right to know, (as they will likely find out eventually anyway). You will learn pretty fast what kind of man he truly is by his reaction, therefore, you can't possibly ruin this perfect thing...You will either receive confirmation that your relationship is solid or that he's not the guy you thought he was. (Also, don't forget he's has been through a pregnancy announcement two times before and survived!)

Best of Luck. ' Hope you find some happiness in the situation.

Answer 5

If he is a good guy and a good father, why would you want to break it off with him? And what is with the girl saying relationships progress and to break up? Does your life stop progressing when you have a baby? It sounds like the baby would be his, I would tell him and see what happens. Chances are he doesn't have his daughters all the time, they have a mom, right? But it is great you plan on keeping the baby. If you and Chad are supposed to be together, it will work out!

Answer 6

If chad is a good guy and you think there is potential with your relationship. Live together and see how everything goes. That seems like it would be the best for you and all the kids. Kids are a lot of work and with the 2 of you working together it may be a lot easier. Good luck

Answer 7

Wow sweetie i feel for you. First off is the baby his. If so and you refuse to abort you need to tell him, and if not you still need to tell him. If you tell him now and see how he reacts it will tell you a lot about him and how he feels about you. I'm not aware of your financial circumstances but judging the ages of the children you two are not ready for another child. But i suggest you tell him, because what do you have to loose. it is far better than just leaving and wondering what if. When you tell him it may be hard, he might flip out or he might be happy, i don't know him. But it will work with or without him if you make it work. Good luck girl

Answer 8

if you are happy with this man then hang onto him!! good ones are hard to find. as far as the baby is concerned, i understand your worried but you need to talk to him about it. having 4 kids in diapers is a nightmare i wouldn't want to take on personally. but maybe look into adoption for the fourth or keep the baby as long as you can financially and emotionally support baby. your body still hasn't completely recovered from having Shyloh and that's another matter to consider. you can't really ask for general opinions on this one...follow your heart and you can never go wrong. whatever your decision...Good Luck!!

Answer 9

tell him....it's his child too (but you never really told us if the baby is his) it's not fair to him....but you understand that no matter which option you choose you change the relationship that you and Chad have....You can either guarrantee that you will be alone w/ 2 kids OR give your child a chance to have both parents in it's life (whether you and Chad are together or share custody).

Answer 10

My god, did you know that there is resource available called birth control???

Did you know that you can PREVENT unwanted pregnancies when you aren't ready to be a parent yet?

Whatever you decide with Chad, I suggest you make an appointment at planned parenthood after the baby is born.
They can give you an IUD, the pill, the depo-provera shot, the patch, the ring, etc. Plus there are condoms and spermicide, too.

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Answer 11

You need to tell him your pregnant whether you stay with him or not. You haven't been with him that long though and relationships need time to grow. This guy could turn out to be a great person to be with. Tell him first and then decide after whether you should stay or go.