This is the situation. I love her!!! with all my heart, but she cheated on me with her ex, around the same time we've had relations. when she found out she was pregnant she told her ex that it was his, and didnt tell me. Then when i found out she was pregnant i tought it was mine (before i knew she had cheated on me) I was really happy got a house a new car started working more and even quited school to have enought money to support her but then i found out that she had told her ex that it was his. I was really sad, her explanation was that she told him that it was his because she knew he wouldn't want it, and at that time she didn't want the baby either, but then when i found out that she was pregnant that she saw all the things i did for her and she decided to keep it. Were a young couple I'm 19 and she is 16 and we're going to tell her mom today. but honestly i don't know what to do. Is hard for me to trust her anymore, Should i tell her mom that the baby might not be mine??
2006-12-07 07:00:16 · 39 answers · asked by CoNfUsEd! 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
What purpose does it serve to be so dadgum lock-jawed on the genetic father? What the heck does it matter, really? REALLY??? What is a dad??? A Dad is a male person who steps up to the plate and leads, provides and loves his family. You are certainly a DAD more than the ex-don't you think??? The baby is hers, is it not? You love her, don't you? Then how can you NOT love a part of her? By being the child's daddy, you will be a dad, a REAL dad.
So, telling this person THIS or that person THAT is of NO REVELLANCE. What's important is that you have taken on the responsibility in helping raise this child, you do it out of love for your girlfriend, and you will become a FAMILY. Hang the rest!
Bear in mind that your girlfriend is still very young and her hormones are still maturing - and now with the pregnancy, she will be doing silly and unexpected things, being emotional and slipping in her decisions now and again.
If you really love her, REALLY love her, you will be patient with her as she works out her emotions with her ex. Many times, a female will "slip up" and return to the ex for reassurance that she is still wanted and loved, only to have it reinforced that the ex was an ex for a reason - he really did not love he as she needed to be loved. That is probably why she slipped up and returned to him...she had to "remind" herself of why the ex is NOT the best of mates for her. And if she is pregnant by him over this, what does it matter? That makes him only a SPERM DONOR. Now she has chosen YOU over HIM, so be glad of it and work on becoming a family.
That baby needs to be loved, too. You stopped the mother from abortion, which is wonderful - now learn to love this new life! This new baby who will one day call you (take a deep breath !)
DADDY !
2006-12-07 07:23:03 · answer #1 · answered by YRofTexas 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alright, an even better question to me would be how many times did she cheat or was it just a one time thing? If it was an ongoing affair then I'd say she obviously doesn't care about you the way you care for her & there's someone better out there for you. If it happened just that once and she says it was just a mistake, I might give her another chance. I mean, people do make mistakes. No matter what you do, it is up to you to decide if you can forgive her and leave it in the past. If u forgive her and she does it again though, drop her like a hot potato. Either way, make sure you get a paternity test done to make sure. You can still help her take care of the child if it's your even if you're not together. And as for you telling her mother, I would say that is your girl's job. The paternity test will prove either way and if it's not yours then her mom will find out anyway. Plus, she'll probably look up to you for taking care of something that may not be yours and support you in what decision you make. That is if she is a decent person.
2006-12-07 07:12:01 · answer #2 · answered by Babygirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooooooooh boy...
Don't stay w/ the girl for the baby! Have her get the baby a paternity test when its born so you can know for sure.
She cheated on you once, she's likely to do it again. If she cheats again, you'll leave her and the baby (even if you do decide to be a bigger man and raise another man's baby), then she'll be stuck in a miserable situation. Either that or you'll stick around for the kid(s) and be miserable yourself. You're both young and have a lot more to learn! Talk to her about considering adopting the baby to a couple that can't have their own! Offer that child more than two teenagers can give it!
You should also hope and PRAY that her mother doesn't go after you for statutory rape! Next lesson in this situation: aim for girls that are legal!
2006-12-07 07:08:39 · answer #3 · answered by luvablelds 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love her then you will get over the fact that she cheated. You can love the baby either way, it only takes sperm to make a baby but it takes a real man to be a dad to one. Have the tests when the baby is born but don't let some paternity test be the judge over whether you want to raise the baby. You guys are both young but that doesn't mean you can't handle it. I was only 17 when I had my first baby and everything is just fine now. Make sure you do what is right for you but don't lead her on and make her believe you'll be there if you won't. Decide before the baby is born if you want to be in it's life, don't wait for the test to make the decision for you. Good luck
2006-12-07 07:08:07 · answer #4 · answered by Angee D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I was 16 when i got prego 17 when i had her. My husband then boyfriend was 19 now 20. Its not the end of the world my husband wanted to have an abortion at first BUT now he regrets even thinking or saying that. Because we are blessed with seriously an angel we love her. ANYWAY kudos for you for sticking with her. BUT Gee what was she thinking! NOT GOOD ON HER PART! Any way stick behind her whether its yours or not you will find that out after the baby comes ya do tell her mom it might not be your but that you are willing to be there for her every part of the way! Yeah stuff happens you will have to grow up pretty darn fast but it is totally worth it! Just get a test when the baby is born and have her get child support from the EX once it is here. Good Luck and stay strong for her and that baby!
2006-12-10 09:28:04 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! What a delima! I would say if you really love here stand by her side reguardless. Especially if the other guy wants nothin to do with her or the baby. She is going to need support. She does need to do a paternity test when the baby is born. Then you will have your answer if the baby is yours or not. The baby will need a dad figure and if your her man then it would be you. The "real" dad would just pay child support. I would just make sure she will never cheat again!!! Tell her how you feel about the whole thing and she has to prove to you she will not stray. Good luck!!
2006-12-07 07:30:58 · answer #6 · answered by prechemad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is some situation. It sounds like you have you life together or are on the right track. To be honest she sounds very immature and not ready for any of this. I would make sure that she gets a paternity test to decide who's baby this really is then make the decision. I would not get involved unless you know for 100% she is carrying your baby. Furthermore, if you decide that you want to stay with her make sure she can be trusted and will not cheat on you again. Things will work out for the best. Good luck.
2006-12-07 07:07:06 · answer #7 · answered by ShanaJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her mom that she is not sure who the baby belongs to and I would discontinue planing a future until a paternity test could be done. Is one way to answer the question the other answer could be that if you love her then you should love the baby no matter what ONE sperm created it. What matters is WHO participates in the life of the child not the person that took all of 2 minutes to create it. You are BOTH very young and you both have lots of life to live and another answer could be to give the baby up for adoption to a couple who is more prepared to raise a child. I do not think that you quiting school is the answer no matter if the baby is yours or not. Best of luck with what ever road you chose to travel.
2006-12-07 07:06:53 · answer #8 · answered by quamie21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That baby is pretty well protected in there. Most of my friends have ridden until it wasn't comfortable. As long as you are riding steadily before, it is no problem to continue. If you are only a sometimes rider, or not a confirmed rider on a well broke horse, then no, you shouldn't ride in that case. My friends that are professional trainers literally rode up until the day before they delivered. No problems. My friends who are serious amateurs also rode until 8 months or more, most of them on feisty young horses over 16hh. They did most of them stop jumping at 7 months, but usually just because it wasn't comfortable anymore. It is of course your choice, and the advice of your OB. They usually aren't horse people though and don't understand how the riding makes your low back feel so much more comfortable, especially later in the pregnancy.
2016-05-23 04:11:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't necessarily have to tell her mom that it may not be yours but I wouldn't invest any more time into the relationship. She is still very young and her trust is already in question. I would be there for her as a friend if possible and just wait on the paternity results. You have your whole life ahead of you and you don't want to be tied down especially if this isn't your child. Once you receive your results, if its yours then do the responsible thing and be a great dad, that doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with the mother. If its not yours then at least you didn't invest any more time or emotions into this relationship.
2006-12-07 07:10:17 · answer #10 · answered by truly_insightful 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋