I have been with my man for almost 5 years and have been engaged for almost 3 years. Our relationship has hit the rocks these past few months. We argue all the time and I am no longer happy, but I love him so much. My problem is that he is not pulling his weight around. He doesn't take work seriously, he has had more jobs this year than I can remember,he calls in sick when he isn't. He hardly helps me w/ any chores. He never does anything sweet,like cook dinner or anything! I work 60 + hours a week and I have nothing to show for it! I can't afford anything b/c I am dumb and support his weed smoking habit (which I will NO LONGER DO as of TODAY). I have to get cash advances just to make sure the rent is paid (for his half). he has to borrow $ from his mom to make his car payment, I mean it does not end. All I want for him to do is be more responsible, but everytime I try 2 talk 2 him he makes me out to be the "bad person”he says I just don't love him for him...not true! Help me!!!
2006-12-07 06:45:23 · 15 answers · asked by ♥eLizAbEtH♥ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Two weeks ago you wanted to spice things up shopping a Victoria Secret and wanted our advice?????
Make up your mind and stick to it!
2006-12-07 06:49:07 · answer #1 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First of all...stop supporting him. If he isn't contributing then tell him that he only gets what he pays for. Especially when it comes to his Weed smoking habit.
If that doesn't work then kick him out until he can grow up and be the man you know he can be. You can use his mom to help get through his thick head but try it yourself before you bring her in on the situation more then she already is involved.
If you love him then you will tell him straight out...you refuse to pay for him from this point on...if he wants a nice warm place to sleep then he will have to pay for it or move out.
Good luck!
2006-12-07 06:49:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say run, don't walk, out the door. I know a lot of people like this and things will not get any better if you two got married. Leave him now and find someone who's more responsible with their lives. It will be tough after the last 5 years, but picture yourself in this predicament for the next 20 years. Now, do you still want to stay with him?
2006-12-07 06:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by tipper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually, it is true. He is exactly who you described and he's obviously not gonna change. You either accept this man with his pot-smoking, job bouncing, no income self and know that you'll live this way for the rest of your life, or you end it. Now.
I HIGHLY suggest you get out now. He's a low-life with little to no ambition and he's a baby. He has a TON of growing up to do before he has any business starting a life with a woman. Trust me...you'll look back later and be glad you did.
2006-12-07 06:52:42 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are his sugar mama...is that truly the role you want to play in life? I've been in the same situation until I finally left him for almost a month, I cut all communication, would ignore his calls, he begged me to take him back and when I did, I put my conditions on the table. If he breaks the conditions, then he knows what life without me is like now. You should do the same thing.
2006-12-07 06:49:08 · answer #5 · answered by E! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Buy some luggage. Take his things and pack them in that luggage. Go to your apartment manager and tell them what is going on. If possible, get him kicked off the lease. Tell them he is bringing drugs into the community, you just found out, and you want him out. Usually they cooperate.
Take the packed luggage nad put it outside of the apartment. Have the locks changed. Call the cops if he doesn't get the point.
Make sure you write a letter and place it inside the luggage. Do this now or it will become more painful as time goes on. After things calm down, then talk...but until then...dead calm and out the door deary.
2006-12-07 06:49:47 · answer #6 · answered by Thera 9 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sounds to me like he needs some Tough Love. The both of you need some counseling . Give him an ultimatum either tote is weight in marriage or its over. Then file for separation. He sounds like a bum to me.
2006-12-07 06:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a loser. If you want to stay with him, though, I suggest you live seperately for awhile. Let him learn to take care of himself. He'll have to work, clean up, cook dinner, and be a grown man for a change. Between you and his mother, he doesn't need to do a damn thing! Quit enabling him, and maybe he'll grow some balls and take care of himself.
2006-12-07 06:49:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should have gotten out yesterday, you talking about being used you are being used. I wouldn't argue with him if you can't get him to leave, pack your bags, rent you another place and get the movers hustling this afternoon. Don't even leave him a spoon to eat with clean that place out, takes his clothes and throw them out in the yard.
2006-12-07 06:53:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. You need to distance yourself from this guy until he cleans up his act and accepts responsibility. People change and, just because you loved him once, doesn't mean you have to love the person he is today.
2006-12-07 06:49:08 · answer #10 · answered by Roberta 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him if he thinks you are just to mean and bad to him, the show him the door as soon as possiable. everyone has to carry their weight in some way or one has to be gone. i smoke my weed, but i carry my share of weight too. i am disabled but i do my part too.tell him to get off butt and get to work,and take care of things like a man.or get off butt and get down the road and dont return.lay the law down, or be used rest of your life. it now up to you.
2006-12-07 07:00:09 · answer #11 · answered by waljac6108 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋