a question about being nice?

Question

do you think its a good idea to be nice to people or do you think they will take advanage of your niceness?i try to help people when i can.i guess i got a soft heart when it comes to helping people less fortunate then me.

Answer 1

It's defenitly a good thing to be nice, and especially if you are sincere about it. If people do take advantage, it only makes you look even better. Keep it up sweety!


Krazy Libra

Answer 2

I guess you and are both softies when it comes to helping people. ....If people want to take advantage of someone they will find a way, whether you are nice or not. The real con artists always find a way...................
I don't see anything wrong in helping those less fortunate then you and in having a good heart. Even those closest to us sometimes take advantage of us, because we simply cannot say no to family and friends. That is no reason to stop being nice. I guess it also depends on your definition of "nice", as you are very general in your question.
If when you say "to be nice" means that you lend a helping hand whenever you can/you are asked then I warn you to be cautious. While I admire and applaud you for having such an altruistic view on life and the human condition, other people's motivation don't always match yours. There are people out there who are not so nice and whose purposes are selfish and who don't care who they hurt in the process. You need to first and foremost worry about yourself before you can truly help anyone else. If you fall in this category, (most of us do), I would suggest you find an organization, like "American Red Cross", "Heartland Hospice", local hospitals etc. and volunteer your time so that you can help.
Continue to be yourself and be nice, however be smart and realize that not everyone else is nice like you. If you have a feeling someone is taking advantage of you or is about to don't let them. Learn how and when to say "No, thank you" or "I am unable to help", There is nothing wrong with this. This will educate you and give you better insight in how you can help those less fortunate...

Answer 3

Wow, what a great question. It's all a matter of balance. While I believe that compassion and benevolence are admirable qualities, there is a thin line between compassion and benevolence to condescension and enabling. Friends, family, strangers, whomever, people sometimes need help of one sort or another. Only do what you're comfortable doing. If you see a pattern for one person asking for favor after favor and never able to return the favor, you might be making yourself an easy target. Establish a boundary that is comfortable to you and stick to it. You can politely let people know when you've had enough. "John, I love helping when I can but you only call when you need something and you never pay me back or never provide help when I need it." That's a healthy approach to helping without becoming exploited.

If you give someone on the street a few dollars, are you helping with compassion or are you enabling an addiction with condescension? (Granted, not every person on the streets is an addict, but that's another topic, so just go with me on this). Sometimes the best of intentions only prolongs a negative situation. I try to be nice to people whenever possible but I try to analyze my actions and try to determine is the overall result positive? Going back to my original example, I keep business cards of local food banks and free kitchens as well as shelters (shelters only operate in the winter here because our weather is mild) on my person so I can refer someone to a food source rather than give cash which can be exploited.

Give freely and frequently but be sure you establish and stick to a strong set of boundaries to prevent yourself from being exploited.

Answer 4

It is a hard question. I try to be nice and treat people with dignity. People do take advantage sometimes but at least I can feel good when I talk and help people. When you feel people are using you, you may need to pull back and walk away or explain to them how you feel which can be difficult depending on the person.

Answer 5

Be nice to the ones you love. Do not trust strangers or those less fortunate. If you feel the need to help others, look around your family and circle of friends first, you will probably see someone that needs help or is less fortunate than you. Or help a animal. ♥

Answer 6

I have found it both ways. I think it is good to be nice. I do nice things for people I know or complete strangers, YET then both take advantage of your kindness. I think there is a % of people who take advantage but on the most part if you do something nice they tend to pay it forward. Sometimes I think being nice to strangers is better then being nice to friends and family they seem more appreciative for it lol.

Answer 7

Keep helping people, but don't be afraid to say no to some one sometimes, that way the know not to walk all over you. But yea keep doing nice things for other lest fortunate, I belive in Karma,, what comes around goes around and you will be greatly rewarded. Just keep up the good work.

Answer 8

I must admit I'm the kinda girl who will do anything for anyone. I'm so soft I end up having people take advantage of this. There is meant to be give and take but that never seems to happen. Just be careful.

Answer 9

Its always good to treat others with respect. Yeah, you can still be nice without being taken advantage of. You can put your foot down but in a nice way that doesn't come off too harsh.

Answer 10

I follow the Golden Rule. However, if someone seems to be attempting to take advantage of my niceness, I do know how to say no &/or stand up for myself. And it is hilarious because people are soooo shocked when they see this other side of me. I just laugh to myself. I'm nice, but I'm no fool.