How do you know when your marriage is over, it's been 5 yrs and I'm tired of trying?

Question

Seperated more then 4 times..
Two small children
I feel he can't provide for us all.

Answer 1

Seperated 4 times? Wow, I'd know it's over after the second time. Move onward, dear. Sounds like you need a new start in life. I know it's hard to let go, even if your life isn't good. But give yourself another chance. Don't stay tied down to hopelessness.
There are ways to be helped. Best of luck to you, and stay strong.

Answer 2

You need to think very hard about what your issues are with your husband that make you feel as though your marital problems cannot be resolved. If it is just a question of money then maybe you are being a bit harsh and maybe not looking at all of the options you two have in terms of how to meet your financial obligations. My husband and I have five kids and we make it on one income because I have health problems. Granted we can't keep up with the Joneses we can still do fairly well to provide for our kids. We do have the occasional problem making ends meet but we figure it out.

If there are other problems in your marriage then you should look into marriage counseling if you haven't already. If you feel as though you have been communicating your feelings to your spouse and doing everything you can to make things work and he still hasn't put any effort forth then maybe it is time to move on.

It is really very hard to me to know. The fact that you have separated 4 times and come back to each other shows me that you two have tried many times and still not been successful in being happy. I don't obviously know what all of the issues are to tell you whether or not you should leave. If you don't feel like it's worth trying anymore though you probably won't give it the same amount of effort you were giving it in the beginning when things first started going bad.

I hope for the sake of the kids you can both at least be decent towards one another and work out a fair agreement in terms of custody/visitation and child support.

Good luck...

Answer 3

let me know if you figure this out. I'm in the same situation, trying to decide whether or not this is enough for me. I also have 2 girls age 7 and 14, and I'm concerned with the example of a loving relationship between 2 people that they are growing up with. It's not abusive, but there's a lack of affection and trust. We've both hurt each other over the years. Good luck to you. I hope it works out for you so you can be happy.

Answer 4

Marriage is for better or for worse. The first few years can be tough. Rather than try to change him try to look at yourself and get some issues dealt with. No disrespect meant. We all have issues.
Someone once prayed change the world Lord and start with me. As you become loving and patient and kind and understanding and don't judge him and love him for who he is regardless of his shortcomings he will respond and want to please you.
Please don't give up. Life can be tough. Read some of my questions you will see that I go through it too. But Marriage is something that requires work every day.
Having problems doesn't make your marriage over it is how you deal with them that counts.
Try a book called the five love languages by Gary Chapman. It will be available on amazon or try your library. This may help a lot.
Best wishes and blessings.

Answer 5

When you are tired of trying, it is time to call it. If you keep trying the same thing and keep getting the same results, then it's time to make some changes.

If you have seperated 4 times in 5 years, and you are back to the same position you started in, then I would have to say it's over.

You will go through some tough times at the beginning, but you have to make sure that you and the kids are taken care of.

I'm sorry about your situation. It definitley sucks, but I can tell you from experience, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and you just have to be strong.

Answer 6

my husband & i first 2-years were the best! Our 3rd & fourth were the worst, and now the 5th is slowly getting back to the honeymoon. There were times i have wanted to either leave him or sh**t him but everyday is a new day to start fresh and i love him even more today than i did then. Dont try so hard, its also part of the frustration & dis-appointment comes from trying so hard. Just let him be himself without judgement and tell him for the same in return. I forgive you and accept for your short comings, and i thank you for the love & beautiful children you have given me. If the sex is still good, he can financially provide, and he hasnt beat you, cheated on you, abused your mind and the kids than it is worth saving.

Answer 7

Girl...... you have done your best on trying.. let it go.. because at the end you are only hurting yourself and your kids. By them seeing you unhappy. I now it is hard to let go of something or someone you have been with for awhile but do it for yourself and move on. I am pretty sure that you don't need him in your life you have your kids....

Answer 8

I think you already know the answer to the question. Do what your heart tells you to do. I think you will be happier and so will your children. If your truly tired of trying you know its over. I think we think with our heads too much at timeswe need to also take into consideration what our hearts tell us, I think we would all be happier people because we know what we feel.

Answer 9

yep - u know its over - dont waste any more time....get all the legal stuff worked out before the kids get older ...it will effect them more if you procrastinate....do whats best for you and the children, you tried to work it out it sounds like - so get out with out any guilt ....good luck

Answer 10

you have tried enough , think of your children ,they will grow up thinking this is normal and do the same and good luck to your future.