Too many divorces?

Question

The rate of divorce in the US has reached new heights and is climbing each year. Are people just getting tired of the thought of lifetime commitment, or are they making bad judgements as to who their mates should be or is there more to it than that?
What do you think?

Answer 1

I think marriage is entered into "lightly" allot of times.. A friend of mine, as crazy as it may sound, got married to someone she didn't really love just for the sake of being "Princess for a day"... Thousands of dollars later, had an annulment. I mean, maybe I'm wrong, but, I'm sure that everyone has thoughts once and while, about who they would be with had they not married their current spouse, don't they? Or, you meet people in your life with enticing characteristics that arouse your curiosity, thus ending up finding out that you really weren't happy.... I guess the best thing to do is to be absolutely positively sure before you say "I do"!

Answer 2

1. Lack of commitment to lifetime vows. People are entering marriage already thinking that if it doesn't work out it's no big deal and they can just get a divorce, ignoring the costs of that to their spouse and children.

2. Failure to heed red flags in a potential spouse. Way too many people ignore obvious problems that are/become insurmountable.

3. Immaturity and self absorption. Truthfully, I think people in their 30s today are less mature than people used to be at 21. How many people in their 20s and 30s are still living at home with mommy and daddy, especially pseudo-men? I hear so many women complaining that the men they meet are like the movie, "Failure to Launch" where they mooch off of their parents, who do everything for the kid but wipe his butt. And many parents have spoiled their girls to the point where they are pampered princesses who expect to be spoiled forever and leave the second they have to actually work at something.

4. Internet pornography. Too many men become convinced that unless their wives "perform" for them like trained dogs, that they need to dump the wife in favor of finding some tramp who will.

5. Emphasis on status and money. Dealing with money causes stress in almost everyone. Add to that the increasing notion of the 'need' to have stuff. It's not a need, but a want. People no longer understand the difference.

6. Stress of moden life. We allow society to put too many demands on us, especially in terms of our kids' activities. The mom often becomes no more than a limo driver and the father is simply there to provide the funds. There is no real family and no sense of being part of a team, so the connection fades and pretty soon an attractive coworker or a neighbor seems more attractive because they listen when our spouse is only talking about the kids or the job -- when we ever see them, that is.

7. False expectations of reality. People have this tendency to think that your whole married life and sex life will be like it was in the beginning. That's not reality. And I see so many people dumping perfectly good relationships because it's not as 'exciting' as it was in the beginning and then wondering why they can't find the "one" right person -- it's because no one person can constantly provide the excitement one finds in the beginning.

8. The notion that 'if it's not fun, don't do it." People think that they are entitled to be constantly happy, excited, fulfilled, in sexual ecstasy. Life really is not like that. Obviously, you shouldn't be miserable or even so-so all the time, but to expect life to be one big party is ridiculous.

Answer 3

I don't think people's ability to make judgements changed too drastically in the recent times. I tend to feel that how society as a whole perceives certain actions has an effect on these actions. The social pressure has relaxed considerably in the last few decades; "what would the neighbors think" or "fear god" are not nearly as strong in influencing personal decisions. Now we can do "whatever we want" - but we haven't yet learned the responsibility that comes with this freedom.

Answer 4

I think that people want to be happy, back in my parents day you were expected to stay together no matter what even if you were miserable. Life isn't forever and people want to be as happy as they can be and I don't think that's a bad thing, that being said I also think people give up too quick you need to try your absolute best before you call it quits especially if children are involved but I also don't believe you should stay together just for the children, they know your unhappy and it effects them.

Answer 5

I know more un-married couples than married ones. I think the institution has deteriorated in the west because of our increasing selfishness and the options available to us in life. Social moores have changed dramatically in the past century. Compare 1906 with 2006.

Answer 6

Not sure, I havent married yet at 32 because I have not met anyone I would like to stay with for a prolonged period of time or trusted at least 90%. I think maybe some people marry because they are afraid to be alone.

Answer 7

Divorce is more socially acceptable. So when a marriage is bad, people are more likely to get divorced than to hang around and put up with a lot of sh**.

Answer 8

Bad judgment. People have lost emotional security and the ability to be a nice human being. Take everything and give nothing seems to be the rule. People have lost the will to brave difficult situations. They want to flee on the slightest pretext. They have got their basics wrong.

Answer 9

I think people just make bad decisions. My mom has been married six times but now she has finaly found the perfect man she says she just had to kiss a lot of frogs to find the right one

Answer 10

The divorce rate is only climbing in red states.