How do you deal with your husband everytime he hang out with a friend that you don't like?

Question

My husband has "this" friend from college that they used to be roommates for 2 years when they moved into Chicago. He has admitted to me that they has never been real friends, he is just a "party friend". While we were dating his friend has a girlfriend and cheated on her. They are still together!. I've talked to my husband that it doesn't make feel good when he hang out with them. He replied to me that he has also noticed that whenever he sees his friend he feels like is not the same and that they are in different pages. BUT he still hang out with him whenever he has a chance. I don't want to break a "friendship" or tell him what to do. So far I just let it go. Like I don't care BUT i do and it really bothers me. We've been married for 1 year and sometime I think that he may miss the single life-hanging out with single friends like I do sometimes. But I know this friend is not a really-good friend, How can I deal with this? Any ideas, suggestions, comments please are welcome

Answer 1

Is this friend hitting on you behind your husband's back?

If you dis-like this guy only b/c he cheated on his girlfriend I would have to say that you are wrong (everyone makes mistakes) and that it is between them and that it is none of your business and that it shouldn't and does NOT concern you... Give him a chance.

If you dis-like him for other reasons just keep your distance go do your own thing when he is around... My husband has friend I don't care for and I go do my sewing or start a project in the basement or go do my town running, paying bills, picking up movies, go shopping, you know that sort of thing.

It isn't like the guy steels from your husband or you; or lies or uses you two right ? or wrong? I'm just saying that you are not the one that says weather or not he's a good friend or not b/c only your husband knows and once lived with him... And maybe your husband agrees with you b/c he doesn't want to up set you more then you already are; I think you "fear" that this guy will try to get your husband to cheat on you and this my dear will not happen... I think also that you think he is a bad influence on your husband, Relax! Your husband isn't going to do anything that he doesn't want to and just b/c they are friends does not mean they are a like in anyway.....

Answer 2

Your answer is at the end of your question. You are afraid he'll want to live the single life again because this friend will make him see the light, because of how you feel (miss being single sometime, which is normal by the way). All you can do is grit you teeth and bear it. He's not going to leave you because he misses being single, if anything it makes him happier to be married. I know whenever I go out with my single friends, I am so glad I have my husband at home and I don't' have to go trolling around looking for Mr right anymore because I've already found him. The single life isn't all it's cracked up to be. If it was, nobody would be married. He still hangs out with him because they've been friends for so long. even though they are on two different pages he feels a loyalty to his friendship. That should make you feel good, it means he's not one to just give up on people easily. Eventually his friend will grow up, until then, just be as understanding as you can about guys night out.

Answer 3

I believe Teachercop. the completed vast difference of perspectives is a lot less significant than the very offensive and insulting commentary that the different spouse made to you. on your shoes, at that aspect i'd have (gently, with out drama) were given up and lengthy previous out of the room and by no skill re-recognized for some thing else of the evening. in case you've been at their position, i'd have were given into the vehicle and pushed abode, or called for a taxi. And your husband certainly may favor to have spoken to her sharply about that too. If he did not, you want to imagine puzzling about your relationship. i does no longer dream of suggesting you divorce him, yet you may want to get him to appreciate that that became only an insupportable insult, and as your husband, he might want to preserve you adverse to insults. because the election is getting particularly close now, I advise you only do not all meet till after it really is over. Then, the subsequent time you do celebration, say pleasantly, "i ask your self if shall we no longer communicate politics for a at the same time as".

Answer 4

Tell him your concerns and eventually it will all work out. You should always communicate your feelings as we men are generally not that sensitive to thingsthat maybe somewhat obvious.

Guys generally do things with their old friends for a couple of reasons:

1. As a couple, you've not made enough married friends for him to find people that he'll enjoy hanging out with company.

2. It is to early in your marriage for the habits of marriage to set in for him. It usually happens quicker for a woman than a man, but it eventually sinks in and you'll note a change in habits. On the bright side it should start soon!!!

Answer 5

you cant make your husband not hang out with someone because you want to KEEP him from wanting to be single. You should trust you husband enough to know that he MARRIED you because you loves you, and if he didnt, he wouldnt have married you. I am ingaged and i have a friend that is single and loves to party, and sometimes i go with him. but i just go to hang with my buddy,and my fiance knows and understands that! Now if you dont trust him, thats a problem in your marriage, not in his friends!

Answer 6

Try to dig into him about why he still hangs out with him. He may be having trouble letting his single life go or maybe he doesn't have many friends. But help him come to realize that he really should improve himself by letting the past go.

Answer 7

It is healthy for married people to have separate friends. Accept it and spend time with your own friends when your husband is with his friend. Eventually, he'll get tired of this friend who really has nothing to offer.

Answer 8

maybe your husband has a good friend you like, invite that friend more often to the house and good luck

Answer 9

You can't do anything about it, unless you plan on telling hubby who he can and cannot hang out with. It's up to him to cut the ties with his old college friend, not you.

Answer 10

tell ur husband that the friend made a move on you. make sure it sound logical. say things like "i dont like how he looks at me when you leave the room" he calls me when ur at work just wanting to talk even though he knows ur working. he came knocking at the door when u were at work.