Forgive or forget?

Question

Is it easier to forgive or forget someone who has done you harm? Can you do both?

Answer 1

The phrase you are referring to is "forgive AND forget" meaning that we forgive the incident and then forget it ever happened. Not to forget the person and write them off in favor of holding a lifelong grudge. People who do that only carry the baggage with them and lack of forgiveness makes bitter people. But I have to make a comment about the "and forget" part. The human brain does not have the capacity to forget an incident ocurred. So it isn't a very accurate phrase. Pretending it never happened isn't healthy either. Best bet is to discuss the incident like adults and come to a mutual understanding of what happened. Then comes forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice that essentially says, "I have the right to hold this against you but I choose not to. Rather, I choose to forfeit my right to be angry at you." The feeling comes later, and that is called "healing."

Answer 2

Good question. Ive had problems with people over the years, like everyone does, some pretty bad. I think you can do both. Im not a christian but the bit where jesus in on the cross and says "forgive them father for they know not what they have done", finally makes sense to me. Almost always, when people screw you over for no reason, they gain nothing except your hate. If they did it to you then they will do it to others, so everyone they come in contact with will hate them eventually, they will never be close to anyone because its their own personality that drives people away from them. Basically who would chose to be an asshole, nobody, because we would all rather be respected and loved by people. So people who do bad things and hurt other people really dont get it, they are ruining their own lives by making people hate them and thats it. Whatever they gain financially or materiallistically, they aint go no love. So I guess they really should be pittied, when you see bad people as stupid its easy to forgive most of them. If its something like rape or murder its the same principal but they still need to be taken out of circulation. So you can forgive, but forgivness doesnt mean someone shouldnt be locked up or even executed, but not for revenge, only because dangerous people are usually, always going to be dangerous. So if there is a mad dog, unless you really can cure it, usually you need to put it to sleep. People are the same, but apparently they are capable of change too, well some are. As for forgetting..If you change your perspective and see bad people as dumb and self distructive people, then you will think of what they did to you differently and once you see things this way, you will see the whole situation in a different light and it wont be a memory that holds any great power over you again. So the memory will be there but it will lose its power. So thats as good as forgetting to me.

Answer 3

You can forgive no matter what and need to forgive to live a healthy balanced live. We never forget anything it is "written into" our neuro pathways of the brain. Even when we are in the womb we are able to feel and remember all. Like I stated earlier it is essential that we heal the past so we can live in the NOW. There is only the now and if we choose to be in the past or future we are slowly dying our lives.
It is not easy to forgive because this requires forgiveness and love of the self first before we can do this externally. How can you fill someones cup with tea if your tea pot is empty.

Answer 4

It is easier to forgive someone, than to forget that it happened.

Both can be done, and should be -- as we are told in the Bible, but it is highly difficult if you don't know how to do it.

In order to do it well, you need to forget that it happened completely; this means not hanging it over someone's head, not reminding them casually (even if you say you're okay with it), and never never never letting them remember it, either.

Once it's forgiven, and truly forgotten (because you cannot truly forgive something you remember), then it's good.

Answer 5

Forgiveness is fair bit I purely forgive and unwell on no account act the same around them my mom used to hit ne while i became into 3 and that i don't have confidence her I do something at the back of her back so I purely forgive yet I additionally forget approximately!

Answer 6

You HAVE to forgive - for through forgiveness we reveal our true natures. We must forgive everyone everything and at the end of every day we must forgive ourselves. Forgiveness relieves us of karmic burdens and helps us "glow". And... there is no need to punish a person for being an axxhole because being an axxhole is punishment enough (likewise the reward for being the way you are is... that you are that way). As for forgetting... time and the loss of brain cells will take care of that.

Answer 7

Forgive. You can never forget but you can try to forget the hurt if you forgive.

Answer 8

I think it's easier to forgive than to forget. Everything that happens to you happens for a reason. It's one of life's little lessons. We shouldn't forget what happens to us, but we can forgive those that do it to us.

Answer 9

i think u can forgive but never forget i mean if u forgive someone u are going to remember why u forgave them right. Now if u forget its like it never happened forget is my choice

Answer 10

I'll never forget what they might have done to me. But I can forgive and not throw it back in there face maybe at a later time.