Is it okay for me to be pregnant at 18?

Question

Why do people feel it is appropriate to tell other people that don't deserve children? I would like to take this opritunity to let everyone know better of my situation. I was engagged to a wonderful man. An italian- American Chef 25 years old and plenty stable. We lived together, had an apartment, bills, and other commitments to one another. To our supprise, we got pregnant really quickly. So quick in fact we hadn't even started planning our wedding. This was fine for the both of us. We were ready and willing to bring our son into the world. After and during the first trimester we began having problems. I was not happy with my fiance & I wasn't enjoying my pregnancy as I had hoped I would. My mom thought it would be best for me to have some space. Then we would be given rest. I am plenty capable of having my son and raising him, and so is his father. How dare anyone make a suggestion that I give my son up for adopton. With me is where he belongs.

Answer 1

A woman's body is fully prepared to give birth as early as 14years of age....
So 18 makes you perfect! don't worry...I had my kid at 19 and he means life to me!!!!!!
good luck!

Answer 2

First off, congratulations and good luck. As for why some people probably say you don't deserve it is because some women have fertility problems and try for many years to get pregnant. I was like those other women for a while. I knew several people that would just "Fall" pregnant. They said they weren't really trying and it didn't matter either way. I had been trying to get pregnant for roughly 2 1/2 years before getting pregnant with the help of IVF. When some women say you don't deserve it, it's nothing personal to you, they are just trying to make themselves feel better. It's really emotionally painful when you do everything right and no matter how hard you try, you just can't get pregnant. As for the people that tell you that you should put your baby up for adoption, that's just wrong. It's your choice to raise and love your baby. If you feel unable to raise you baby, it's your choice. No one else can make that decision for you. Best of luck with your future son

Answer 3

Well. People can say whatever they wish. And they may actually believe you would be better off giving your son up for adoption. And maybe you would be. I don't know you or your situation, so only you can know that.

As far as having commitments to the chef.......generally speaking, it is helpful to wait a little longer before getting pregnant so you don't bail out during your pregnancy because you start having "problems".

The bottom line however is it is your life. And you are free to do as you wish. So if you want to keep your son and can provide him with the life he deserves you should do so, and let everyone else fall into place.

Congratulations on your baby and good luck on your marriage.

Answer 4

the only advice i can give you is go make sure you have an education. i was in a similar situation when i had my son at 22 and it's A LOT more work than you realize. day care is super-expensive and a lot of the friends and family that say you can turn to them no matter what...change their tune a few years into it. but as long as you have a steady home environment and you're safe from harm, GO FOR IT!! it won't be easy, but get yourself an education too. i was out of school when i had my son and i was lucky to jump into a management position at such a young age. i don't know what i would do if i didn't have my degree. take some online courses or get a quick certificate like a CNA (certified nurses aide) so you know you will have a steady job and will be able to support him when things get tough (and they will!!) if you need more advice (or if you live in the chicagoland area) you can always email me at: [e-mail]. Good Luck and Congratulations!!

Answer 5

I agree totally! I might not be the smartest girl out there but I was 16 when I got pregnant with my 1st daughter. I wanted her and so did my husband. I might be young, but can care for my family just as a 30 something year old woman can. I am now 19 with two beautiful baby girls and 4 weeks pregnant with another. I know I young and my babys are close in ages, but thats what we want. People might call it selfish, stupid, irresonable, but I think that it is an outrage that people think that a baby would be better off with people they dont know rather than their moms or dads is stupid. If you want the child, no question You CAN raise and love the child, rather your married for 5 years or a single mom, YOU can do it. Best of luck to you and your child and best wishes to you.

Answer 6

You are perfectly capable of taking care of your child. Dont let anyone else tell you differently.
I was pregnant then married at 18 went through high school like that. Nothing that I am proud of. But people told me some of the same things like consider adoption, or 1 person said abort. No way. I now have a 20 year son that I am proud of and dont regret being a mom at such a young age. Good luck to ya, enjoy your children they grow up fast!

Answer 7

Yes it is okay to be 18 and pregnant. If you and your fiance are wanting this child then you should have this child. Dont let anyone tell you any different. Even if you have to do it as a single mother. You'll never regret that child no matter how tough things get in the future. And just so you know pregnancy isnt the easiest thing to deal with. Thru both of my pregnancy me and the daddy didnt get along. We fought like cats and dogs and I could say part of me actually hated him while the other part loved him. Pregnancy just takes a big toll on a womans body and her emotions. The day my babies were born me and daddy were okay on the spot because my attitude changed just that fast. It's normal because things start gettin on your nerves that didnt before or you start hating things that you usually like. Its not easy being pregnant thats for sure

Answer 8

if you feel you are ready then its fine, dont let anyone tell you what you should do with YOUR baby its not their choice. i think it is perfectly fine to be pregnant at 18 as long as the mother knows what kind of situation she is going to be in and what kind of financial problems might occur. you sound mature enough and sounds like you know enough to bring this baby into the world and take care of him like a real mother would do. dont let anyone tell you any different. good luck to you and i hope you and your fiancee can work things out or at least stay friends so you can raise your son together. he deserves all the love from both parents no matter what.

Answer 9

Do you honestly want the truth?

The truth is you may still not be completely physically devoloped. When a person is complete varies,.. Adolesense last until like 28 years old,.. because devolopment just keeps going. Most people think getting your period the first time or ejectulating the first time indicates you just started, just stopped, or are soon to completeing adolesense. This is not true,.. very much so,.. there have been pregnant 6 years old.

The real concerns are if your body can take being pregnant & birth,.. if this will cancel out your body from finishing devolopement (this could cause a life threatening problem 10 years later,.. don't ask humans why it's their bodies responcible for it), how well will the baby devolope, can the baby have enough room to devolope probably, how will the delivery go,... etc.

In Break Down,.. your body still needs to finish some bases to things like bones and give out orders to how things will run normally from now on. When your pregnant and still in adolesense your body might suffer the lose of some things and the stress of others.. it being a bit meeker and not devoloped enough in size in some areas,... then on the other end your body may still be trying to do that instead of letting the baby get it's way. Blah Blah Blah,.. so on.

Final posiblity is timing of eggs and how good they are. The first and Last eggs are not the best. They may be abnormal or not reduce/devolope completely,.. all that stuff you can't control.

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Now I'm reading past your question thoroughly
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Well,.. most people on here think the world revolves around their Baby Jesus,.. and someone even said that this season exsist only because of Jesus or wouldn't exsist without Jesus.

People are on their own planets XD If your 18 some people might think your in High School and not planning to complete your education. What is makeing them say to put him up for adoption? Were you considering an Abortion or were they accuseing that that's the only thought most people have? Alot of people on here are like that (well atleast the ones signed up on the JUMP ON PREGNANCY QUESTIONS band). They throw around "Liberal" and make them out to be monsters,.. they think everyone that supports Pro Choice is planning to kill several of their unborn in their life. They think people get pregnant just to have their children aborted,.. just to have them as part of an experiment. I guess they assume all children are from Non-Liberals then XD

You should spend more time around the father. Males don't have the child in their body so it's hard to get it into their heads there is a life until after the birth. Then they may take off to think,.. then come back or they will just have something click in their head and it hits them their baby is there. Alot of men end up haveing that as the best day and experience of their lives. [The birth of their first child]

Italian Americans are use to hyperactive families. Remember that in Italy for a long long long time it's been Coffee and Wine for fluids. They also have periods of time during the mid day they sleep... so they are up in the middle of the night in Italy still functioning. If you can go see his parents/mother and they don't have anything against him being with you (some women fear their son being taken away by anyone or anything on Earth because they love them and want to protect them)... spend time with them,.. spend a week... you'll find out the atmosphere only that way. If they are accepting they will encourage him and get him to lossen up and adjust. They may be all too happy to help you out if you run into problems. They might need to snap him out of whatever he is going through.

I am not thinking of if they are in Italy,.. I would think it would be hard to visit that way and please do not take the flight while pregnant.


If he loves to cook at home your child is going to grow strong under whatever physical appearence s/he may have. They will survive things others don't/can't and have better luck with certain injuries.

Good Luck :) Sounds like your going to have alot of fun. Your going to probably adapt some postures and behaviors to assert your terrortory some times. People may think that's the only thing your about but you'll be alot of stuff and nearly all positive XD

Answer 10

Are you asking us to agree with you? WHat is the question, exactly? As for parenthood at 18, that's completely dependent on the situation. The fact that your relationship deterioroated so quickly shows two things- you can get it back on track with some work, or it wasn't all that great to begin with. Your publicized insecurity and defensiveness are signs of emotional immaturity (nothing unusual at 18 years of age). Sure, you may be a great mother despite all that. So why are you seeking OUR approval?

Answer 11

I would never suggest it...and hated when people did the same to me, not in a situation like yours. Its none of their business and it is also rude of them to assume you aren't prepared for the challenge of raising a child. Its not easy but I don't think its easy at any age. I was 17. And I became pregnant with number 2 at age 20. I have never regretted a minute of my life with my kids and don't think people understand how much a mother will do to make sure things work for their children. It sounds like you have the right mind set and are ready.