Hi i'm 22 years old and have been married for a little over 10 months but my husband and I have been together for almost 7 years altogether and we have a 2 year old daughter.. But my marriage isn't so good right now! Some major problems are he come home from work eats dinner and sits down and plays video games or turns on the tv we hardly ever see each other and when we do we don't talk... we haven't gone out alone in 2 years, and recently he's told me that he still has a lot of feelings for his ex he's always denied it until we got married, I've talked to him time and time again and he has we will work things out they will be fine and they are for a week or two then we are right back where we started and Now i'm really considering a divorce because I don't know if I could live the rest of my life like this... What should I do??
2006-12-07 05:21:10 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he still has feelings for his ex then he shouldnt have gotten married and had a child with you. You need to go to marrage counceling and try to work things out. If all else fails find some one that is going to be the husband you want and need him to be. I tried to pull that with my wife because my boys were out doing what they do and I missed that life. She got tired of telling whats up and having the same conversation so she left me for 2 months of our marrage and I didn't see my kids or her and she wouldn't answer my calls. She's back home now and I learned if you want to keep what you have you have to cherish it and I cherish her. I was so miserable with out her. I think your husband needs to go through what I went through
2006-12-07 05:37:43 · answer #1 · answered by 首相悪 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i married when i was 22 and i know now that i look back on it that a lot of the problems we had were because of me being young and immature. luckily she stuck it out with me(i did some really stupid things,drank way too much,was probably borderline abusive with her,wasnt a good provider to name a few) and now we have a great marriage and a wonderful little girl.BUT-as much i was bad and she stuck with me i went into the marriage with the mindset that i would do anything to make it work.it took me a while to change but i did.
it dosent sound like that is the case with him./but neither did it seem to be the case with me at first. use your good judgement. a big thing that helped my wife and i is that we decided to agree that there are 2 reasons for divorce.1-cheating 2-abuse and thats it. anything else can be pretty much worked out,if you take the other person seriously and make the effort to change for the better. one other thing- we decided early on to not bring up divorce as leverage in an argument or even in an argument. if one or the other is seriously contemplating divorce-for whatever reason to sit down and calmly discuss the issues at hand. it has taken a lot of blood(yes blood she gives as good as she gets) sweat and tears to get to where we are now,but it was worth everything.
have you tried to hire a babysitter and plan an evening out just the 2 of u?mabe have a designated date night once a month or a week, then you can talk, bring up issues etc. the main thing is to be calm(both of you) look at both sides of the problems agree on a soultion and you need to stick to it. if he isnt then say hey whats up i thought that we agreed to.......
2006-12-07 06:10:31 · answer #2 · answered by donald k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am kinda of going through a similar situation, but do not give up so quickly. Try talking to him or maybe going to church. I am realizing now that without God in a relationship, that it will not work. Seriously though, tell him how you are feeling and development plans or days that you guys can have some time alone together. If mama and daddy are not happy then the kids are not happy.
2006-12-07 05:25:29 · answer #3 · answered by rowriter 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with people???? If things aren't all happy and perfect in a marriage they are quick to divorce, rip their children whom they claim to love from their secure home and surroundings and then act all surprised when the next relationship doesn't work out either.
Grow up and talk with him like adults.
2006-12-07 08:09:00 · answer #4 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you're so young! I'd find out now if he has the same goals as you, and what his priorities are, and when you've come to the inevitable conclusion that he is too immature for a mature relationship that a family with a child needs....well, give him the boot, cut your loses, and find someone who will appreciate the honor of being a family man.
2006-12-07 05:27:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's in what is called a "trial marriage"; he married you because of your kid together, but he really wouldn't want to be there if not for her.
You may as well pull thr trigger and get your life back on track now - this marriage is done.
2006-12-07 05:25:22 · answer #6 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't give up until you try some marriage counseling. If he is not open to it, then he leaves you no other choice as you have "irreconcilable differences" which means divorce or live a life of disagreements.
2006-12-07 05:53:25 · answer #7 · answered by E! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made a commitment. Like it or not you are in a marrige and it is too soon to think of divorce. Make things clear to him & don't be so pasive.
2006-12-07 05:25:59 · answer #8 · answered by castillo5247 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me as though the both of you could use some serious marriage counseling, I strongly recommend you get it.
2006-12-07 05:26:19 · answer #9 · answered by Mike M. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before you make a decision to hasty. Get marital counseling as soon as possible.
2006-12-07 05:38:04 · answer #10 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋