Women, how do you deal with Jealous mothers in law and mamaz boys?

Answer 1

You have to have him on the same page with you. She can only do what he let her do. So if he is not with you then he is just as much a part of the problem as she is and he is not worthy of you.

Hope it works out for you

Answer 2

This is tough I don't have a jealous mother in law but I do have a little old lady that acts like she is.
I find it very tough. I suppose I would say that if you are really kind to her and don't get upset with her or your hubby then she will grow to like you and appreciate you.
She probably feels that no one is good enough for her son. Well then show her how nice you are. She will soon see he is in safe hands. As for him- treat him well and he will cleave to you. You need to be tender and loving and kind and supportive and always there to listen.
He is only a mama's boy because she gives him all of this. You need to now and you will see changes.
Bitterness and meanness will just exacerbate your problem by causing her to be more protective and him to cling more closely to her.
Try to see it from their point of view too. They love each other and it's hard to break away. I am very close to my Mom and leaving to cleave to my husband was hard and the whole process took time before I was able and she was able. I live in the U.S now and she is in my home country, England. I miss her so much because she was always there for me and my husband cannot give the same care.
I hope this helps and makes sense to you.

Answer 3

I go far far away from them both! no but for real, it is almost impossible to deal with mothers-in-law and if one is jealous of your relationship with her son, you are just asking for heartbreak, just go into the kitchen find the largest knife there and tell your mamaz boy to stab you in the heart now, and save time and drama, because that's what you are in for, don't get me wrong some men do change if the provocation is strong enough, and you happen to get to them before they are twenty something, you might stand a chance, or if you can get them to move far, far, far away from momma. If you do good luck, but there is the rub, it's hard to do.

Answer 4

I put my mother -n-law in her place. We use to live a few buildings down from her. She would call and ask for my husband or she would come pounding on the door. Sometimes I would not answer the phone she would leave several messages I know you are there. One day I picked up the phone and told her that he had a life other then her. He was married to me not her. I did not mind him doing a few things for her but this women expected him to do every thing for her. Take her shopping ,take her car to be repaired. the list went on and on. My husband worked nights and she would expect him to get up and take her shopping or to do what ever she wanted done. She had her own car so why can't she take her self. Unfortunately he died and she has to do all this her self. She did move closer to her daughter once my husband died.

Answer 5

You tell your boyfriend or husband that this is a problem with her interferance and that he better stand behind you on this and have a talk with her. Set some rules down on the table. If he is unwilling then he obviously isnt ready for anything serious and or does not consider you important enough to do something about how you feel. dont let it go....it gets worse. I lived it I know! I went to talk to her myself and got accused of hitting her and everything. she even went to DR office complaining of chest pains and sore arm where i hit her supposedly when in actuality...she hit her arm on the bathroom door as she ran in to it and swung it shut it hit her. Nice eh? So I do feel your pain. Just be firm and dont put up with it.

Answer 6

My fiance is a real mama's boy and not only is he attached to his mother, but he's attached to his sister as well! Yeah...I know! Anyway, I just kill them with kindness. I know they feel like I can't take care of him like they do, but I just prove them wrong every time. Remember one thing though, a man that is good to his mother, will also be good to u, and that's a good thing. Let him spend time with his mother. It doesn't mean that u have to be there too, but make it clear to him, that U r not his mother, and ur NOT going to baby him. Everything will work out....Good luck!

Answer 7

you're useful to choose interest out of your hubby good now...yet, all of his interest and time is a sprint extreme, even once you're pregnant and feeling sick. the terrific answer is often compromise, so attempt to realize a compromise including your hubby and new mom in regulation, as an occasion, perchance you ought to establish some floor regulations, that in case you're sick and fairly require his interest, he provide it to you...yet once you're having a greater efficient day and purely have time on your palms he will have the means to apply his unfastened time to flow to his mom, or notwithstanding else he needs to do. yet, lower back there probably purely needs to be some floor regulations laid out to avert further and extra conflicts.

Answer 8

You didn't know you were marrying a mama's boy? Oh boy......
If you just can't get you and your hubby to move away....then you are going to have to learn to put your foot down. Don't know how long you have been married....but if you don't do it now...you are headed for nothing but more trouble in the future. If you are unable to get him to change...then I would leave.

Answer 9

It's not true that it will never change, because I've been through hell with my MIL.... and we get along much better now. Both of us are strong-willed people.... and then there's my hubby who was (still is to some degree) very much a "mamaz boy". My husband chose to not say anything in the beginning.... I told him that if he wasn't going to stand up for me that I was going to do it myself. She would cry to him and he would feel sandwiched between us... finally we just stayed away from her- for about a year. I made the first phone call and reminded her of her new role, which is being a grandmother.... and urged her to be more like a grandmother .... believe me she didn't prove to be good at that either- in the beginning.... we had to voice out to her many times how "we" wanted her to treat our son (now we have two). The main problem with her is her ignorance (not very educated) and her tactless nature. She told us that she simply doesn't know when she is doing or saying things that would offend us. I was very sceptic about that, because very often I felt like she used that excuse to get away with things. Finally I called my lifeline- my parents (Germany)... this was after 4 years of struggle.... I asked them to help talk some sense into her not to make our lives miserable. Instantly MIL stopped being a pain.... but she is still very tactless. She now lives in our garage that's been turned into a studio- has her own entrance, own bathroom and own kitchenette. We are not close friends, but we don't fight, we don't badmouth each other. My older son used to be very fond of her, but he doesn't go over to her place that often at all. He witnessed what her behavior did to us as a family.... in fact he agrees that she is someone you don't want to hang around all day. Here's an example why: when he was about 4 years old and without inhibitions changed his clothing right in front of everyone- she said: " I wonder if he will be able to keep a woman with that little bit." I was so mad with her about that.... soooo mad! My son then asked what she meant by that and I quickly changed the topic and redirected him in a cheerful manner as if nothing inappropriate was said. She got a scolding from my husband after that- big time! So, as the saying says- you can't teach an old dog tricks.... but you can make your MIL understand that your unit as husband and wife is very strong by talking in "we" form for example. Whenever she asks my husband if he can do something for her or with her, he always says to her: "I'll ask M. first what "we " have planned for that day- I'll get back with you on that." She knows now that she can't demand things without my permission. When I made that call after one year of not talking to her- she cried and said thank you for me calling first, because she would have never bowed to me. I made it clear to her right there that my act of calling her was not bowing to her, but to simply remind her that she was now a grandmother. We are much more real with each other now.... not pretending to be close is one of the things that makes our relationship work.

Answer 10

I've delt with this for 3 years ago and one son later, it never stopped, so i decided i had to leave good man or not, it's not worth the stress