My wife and I were married two years ago. The relationship never seemed to work from day one. This is mine and wife's first marriage. We have gone to several marriage counselors with no success. My belief has been that it gets better with years and for God. We currently do not have children.
What do you think?
2006-12-07 04:04:23 · 31 answers · asked by Neo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If marriage councelling has not been successful, I honestly would think about a trial separation and see what happens after that. Maybe 3 months and then you and your wife re-evaluate your marriage and see if you want to try again or divorce. I think it is good that you and your wife do not have any children as that would only add complications to your marriage. Kids are hard work and despite what some people think - add alot of extra stresses to a couple, From what you said, it sounds like you agree that this marriage isn't working now you just need to decide if you want to spend the rest of your life unhappy - remember life is too short and you want to spend each day as happy as you can be - you owe it to yourself and to your wife. I hope I helped you and good luck!
2006-12-07 04:09:51 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you all ready said the relationship never worked from day one, you seek ed the aid of several counselors which failed...you have all ready tired.
Yes relationships DO get better over the years, only if they start off as good relationships.
But in the case of a relationship that starts off bad the years will not make it better. Probably worse.
Use this a learning experience and end it now, before more years or hate and resentment build. When the time comes and you start a new relationship you don't want to bring the past baggage into it.
Please don't have children thinking that will 'fix' it.
2006-12-07 04:13:13 · answer #2 · answered by lolasmom19 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody said marraige was easy. It something that you have to work thru. Just because divorce is as easy as ordering something online doesn't mean that it should be your first option. You need to find that things that you loved about each other that made you decide to spend the rest of your lives together. A lot of time, marriage counselors are very technical. Try going to a church and finding counseling there. Talk about what went wrong. COMMUNICATE! Try to put romance back in your lives and don't make an argument about everything. AND, please, don't have children yet. It would only make things more difficult. Try your hardest to work things out. Don't think about divorce yet. That's only an easy way out. Work with you marriage.
2006-12-07 04:27:08 · answer #3 · answered by Esther 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, a bad marriage does not get better with age I married because I got pregnant and did not want a child out of wedlock. Our marriage wasn't good from the start and got progressively worse over the ensuing 18 years and three children. I tried very very hard to keep the marriage together and, yes, we did go to marriage counseling. Even the marriage counselor said that we should divorce. We finally did about 18 months ago, but the years took a terrible toll on both of us - and our children. Whatever you decide to do for yourselves, please do not have children. The harm to them from a bad marriage is nearly irreparable.
God bless you both!
2006-12-07 04:19:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. Obviously you two saw something in each other to get together in the first place. I believe everybody comes into a relationship with some sort of issues that need o be worked out otherwise you just carry them onto the next one. If you two are willing and try your best to communicate and include God, I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that you both will have a successful, happy, long marriage. I wish you the best :-)
2006-12-07 08:21:13 · answer #5 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is tolerably bad, keep trying different counselors, maybe someone will be able to help. If you are both miserable, get out while you can still face eachother and be friends... God can change people, but they have to know what to change and be willing to do so. Definately practice safe sex methods, though, if you stay together.. Youwould not believe the added drama that would add if you end up splitting later on... Hope things work out for you! Good luck!!
2006-12-07 04:10:56 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ Butterfly ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should call it quits or take a break. try and figure out on your own why things arnt working . you both may really love eachother but mabey at this time in your lives you were not ready to get married. mabey you jumped the gun a bit. im not saying get a divorce but a break might be in order. living seprate lives for a while might really show eachother how you feel. if you still love eachother after a while then stay together if you find your selves driffting appart then mabey it wasnt ment to be. its going to be a hard dessicion either way so good luck but what ever you do do not pretend that its working when you know it isnt. good luck
2006-12-07 04:15:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you honor your marriage vows, God will honor you. It was never said that marriage was easy, you have to work at it daily. If you weren't willing to work at it, why did you get married in the first place. Since you went ahead and tied the knot, make it work. There must have been some love along the way, even if it's a trickle of love, take that trickle and build it into a waterfall!
2006-12-07 04:08:58 · answer #8 · answered by Special K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do not abandon your relationship. marriage is a very serious commitment, whether the parties even realize it or not.
1. have you pursued christian counselling? counsellors that base their sessions on the word of God?
2. have you talked to a minister about your relationship? the minister who married you?
3. do you and your wife read the bible and pray together regularly? it is so important!!!
4. have both of you commited your lives to God, honestly desiring to do what is best for His glory, not your own?
5. do you have christian friends, friends who you both can do things with?
the first few years of my marriage were rough, very rough. - and we were both commited Christians ! Now here i am 30 years later and i can truly say it DOES get better as the years go by.
do not give up!!
email me if you want to discuss more
god bless
2006-12-07 04:25:25 · answer #9 · answered by happy pilgrim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not have children and it IS a bad marriage that is 100% not salvagable I would say call it quits. Nobody gets hurt and you can just split the assets accordingly. Don't think that children will make the marriage better. Sometimes people just weren't meant to be.
2006-12-07 04:17:24 · answer #10 · answered by John C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋