I am attracted to another man - in fact we are really close. I notice that when we are together we are getting along more. The thing is I know I need to cut him out of my life but I am scared to do that and I don't know why. For my marriage I need to end my friendship with him but I can't seem to do that - help!!!!!!!!!!!! :(
2006-12-07 04:02:57 · 30 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you know that this man is tempting you, your refusal to break it off means that you intend to cheat sooner or later.
So, you need to decide if you want to cheat on your husband and end up divorced. Do you? Or do you want to have a good marriage with your husband? If you want to have a good marriage, imagine the look on his face when he finds out you've been screwing behind his back. Imagine that and it should be easy to break it off with the temptation.
And fwiw -- when you get married you don't stop finding other people attractive. You stop ACTING on the attraction. That is the sign of a mature adult. If you're not willing to stop acting on attraction, then you're not ready to be married.
2006-12-07 04:07:45 · answer #1 · answered by Karen L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always say, just because you already placed your order, doesn't mean you can't take another glace at the menu. LOL But seriously, you have to evaluate your current relationship. Why are you looking elsewhere? Did you marry too young and feel as though you missed something? Is there conflict in your relationship making your eye wander to something better (just remember that old message about the grass being greener). Something else MAY be going on between you and your husband for you to have your feelings shift. Or you could just be simply attracted. But if you think that you cannot contain your feelings in an appropriate manner, then you need to take a close look at why. And think of this. If this "friend" knows your married, and he's still trying to push up on you, what does that say about his values?
2006-12-07 04:12:35 · answer #2 · answered by Koko Loco 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart,
It`s the old Fruit of the Poisionous Tree Equation. Yes it`s possible to be attracted to numerous people while married but the self imposed guide lines we are suppose to have in place are not always on auto pilot and we have to stand firm when those feelings come or as one person stated your guteral insticts begin to take over and you WILL fall hard and Fast, you might have fun for a brief season but daily the tab is being rung up on your soul just as you use that credit card the Bill is coming due and the price is always more than you want to pay. Yes this is experience talking. Don`t crash and burn baby girl. Put this friendship in it`s proper place NOW. To be forewarned is to be forearmed. Hugs to you!
Jim
2006-12-07 04:13:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is possible especially if you married at an early age and while you age your preferences change so are your priorities and goals in life. And maybe you found it all from someone new who shares this new changes in you. If your husband is not worth keeping(abuses you, womanizer,not respecting and taking care of you) and there is no love between you, then maybe you should move on. But if he's a lovable man,bring back the romance and end the friendship.You end it and don't wait for him to do it.
2006-12-07 04:15:30 · answer #4 · answered by mareko 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is possible, though very bad. It's best that you know you should end this with the other guy, and I'm sure it is hard, but at least you are mature and sane enough to see what you HAVE to do. If it will be hard for you to physically tell the man that it's got to end, you should fade into the background, try not to be around, don't answer calls, etc. Kinda make him forget, it sounds odd, but it works. Outta sight outta mind. Good luck, and you definitely have a spot in heaven for wanting to preserve your marriage.
2006-12-07 04:08:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am married and I have a few friends that I'm very attracted to but I would never let them ruin my marriage and our friendship. Dont end the friendship if its a real good thing
2006-12-07 04:08:23 · answer #6 · answered by Dispatcher94 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it happens that married people become attracted to another person other than their spouse. Let it remain just that, and attraction. Don't take it any further, that's when it becomes stick, and you will end up traveling down a road that few have traveled down in happiness. Work on keeping what you have and in the end, you will be quite happy.
2006-12-07 04:06:23 · answer #7 · answered by Special K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is only human to be attracted to someone else. But if you respect your husband and want your marriage to work you must stop seeing this other person.
Is this attraction a symptom of something missing in your marriage? are you bored and fed up? Try to understand why you are being tempted and see if you can use this experience to make your marriage stronger.
2006-12-07 04:08:21 · answer #8 · answered by the dougal 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to be attracted to another person while married. I think this is just human nature at work. If you are married, however, I suggest you distance yourself from this person, or risk damaging your marriage. Get out while you still have the opportunity.
2006-12-07 04:07:47 · answer #9 · answered by Hammer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u need to evauluate ur realitionship with ur husband do u feel the same way about him. Its jus u probly lost the anticipation of getting that first kiss again or maybe u jus want a little action in ur life y dont u try a little role play with ur husband tell him to pick u up at a bar like if yall complete strangers. and if that dont help maybe its time to talk to a lawyer
2006-12-07 04:07:51 · answer #10 · answered by Louis C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋