husband has been having 5-month affair, he has not kept it a secret in our town but has not talked to other family or long-time friends of ours for 6 months. For the past 5 months he has offered to live a 'parallel life' with me. He wants to have it all. He also tells me to not give up hope and that he still loves me. However, I cannot live this way. We have four children under the age of 4. I moved out over a month ago and he moved his 'sugar baby' and her little dog into our 1 million dollar house that is currently on the market (I moved out with the kids & dog in order to have the house not cluttered with toys, mess etc while in the selling mode & because of his anger/inability to deal with stress of kids . I am serving him divorce papers today because I see no other option. I want to send Christmas cards to family/friends with my new address/phone number so family/friends will know where me & the children are. Some don't know the situation, so how should I sign the cards??
2006-12-07 03:52:18 · 17 answers · asked by almostover 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the pictures on the card are only of our children...
2006-12-07 03:59:08 · update #1
So sorry to hear about your situation. It must be really hard on your kids, especially around the holidays. Good for you not waiting around on him any longer though!
I would just sign the cards with your name and the kid's names. As far as letting them know you have moved, I would maybe stick a separate piece of paper in with your Christmas cards saying (of course, with your own names and address):
We've moved. Here's our new address and phone number:
Mary, Jane, Billy & Joey Smith
123 Main Street
Anytown, USA 12345
(123) 456-7890
No need to explain your situation in a Christmas card, besides, the people closest to you probably already know what's going on.
2006-12-07 04:10:14 · answer #1 · answered by Julie F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband has moved on with his life. Sounds like you have too, since you're serving him the divorce papers. So any card you send out is pretty much coming from you, or you and your kids. It's not coming from you and your husband, that's for sure - especially if you're not asking for his approval on it (which I wouldn't since it sounds like he's kind of a putz, and doesn't deserve any control in your life.).
So I'd sign it, "Love, [my name] and [kid's names]"
I would also avoid sending one of those long, "here's what's happening in our life" christmas letters that people send out. That's just going into far too much detail, and will make explaining all this too difficult. Instead, just keep the message simple and to the point. Maybe...
"Dear Friends and Family, I hope this finds you in good health and spirits. The kids and I are doing well, however it's with a somewhat heavy heart that I must tell you that [husband] and I have decided to separate. Because of the separation, my address has changed. I can be reached at the following address and phone #:
[street address and phone # here]
"
You can, of course, personalize that somewhat, but that's kind of what I'd start with. Oh, and I wouldn't go for an overly silly/cheery card. I'd pick something holiday-ish, but not over the top - you know, maybe a card with a nice drawing of a well-lit house against a backdrop of a snowy forest or something.
Sorry about the divorce, but it sounds like you've made a positive ecision about the direction to take your life. I hope it all works out for you.
(Oh, and Happy Holidays! :-) )
2006-12-07 12:32:51 · answer #2 · answered by br00fa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just send them out signing your first name and your kids' names, I'm sure if you come from the usual town like I'm from..people, including the family members already are aware of the situation going on, but just not admitting they know...looking the other way perhaps, especially his side of the family who are ashamed of how he's acting? If you send them out and family members call you and ask why you signed them that way, that would be the time (if you want to) to explain. No sense writing it out on the Christmas cards and taking away from the original thought of wishing people a merry Christmas! You have as much right to the house as he does I would tell him you want to live in the house until it's sold...why pull the kids out of their home so that his gf and him can have it?? Like I've been told before, get some backbone and stick up for yourself gf, and your kids.
2006-12-07 12:08:47 · answer #3 · answered by Carol G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They may as well know, but probably not in a card. Send the cards with your new address, and as a family "from the Smiths" and leave it at that. Tell them later why there is a different address. You could even add, "We've moved!" just don't say who did the moving..... Helpful?
2006-12-07 13:19:47 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, I don't know, depends on how close you are to these people. If you want them to know, you could include a brief note with the cards explaning your situation in a nutshell (Just wanted to let you know that so and so and I are separating, and my new address is.....) Sign cards with your and kids' names. Good luck.
2006-12-07 11:58:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinkin that a Christmas card is not the way to announce your split. Call/e-mail these folks concerning the split. There is no need to go into great detail.
Sign the cards with your name and the children...............
2006-12-07 12:01:08 · answer #6 · answered by tallerfella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say that your husband is taking you for granted that whenever he wants he can return to you after having some fun outside...you inform your husband the reason you moved out and sew him for bringing in some one in your joint house without your permission...if that house belongs to you also legally.....and yea letthe family know what he is upto...dont go through everything all alone.
2006-12-07 12:08:59 · answer #7 · answered by jewel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sign them from you and the kids only. Quit keeping his secret.
You made the best choice for you and your kids. Let the whole town know!
2006-12-07 12:00:12 · answer #8 · answered by blackenough4you 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you mean as in your last name?
You could just sign your first name and your kids names. You should not include your soon to be exhusband. I'm sorry about the situation, it has to be tough.
The best of luck.
2006-12-07 11:55:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your divorcing, you should sign them from you and the kids and put "P.S. I'm divorcing ________ because he cheated on me. Merry Christmas!"
Let him suffer the embarrassment of his deceitful ways. Stand strong. You have already been brave for moving out, but make sure you get your just due in divorce court.
2006-12-07 12:06:47 · answer #10 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋