Okay here goes, My so called finace lied to me and said him and his daughter were going to dinner to have some one on one time and asked me not to join them. I said that would be fine. I later found out that he invited his ex wife to dinner with them. I confronted him an asked why I was asked not to go but he invited her and he said it was because she said some nasty things about me an he wanted to address them. Cant this be done over the phone or at our home with me involved if its about me??? Why did he have to invite her to dinner?? I was so upset I hardly said a word to him when he got back. I told him if this was true I should have been a part of the discussion since I was apparently the main topic. He just said I need to grow up. It always seems when he is caught lying its for MY OWN GOOD. I hate the way Im feeling and Im not sure how to handle it. If my ex and I did this he would have flipped out on me. Its always ok 4 him but not me. Where is the respect in this relationship!!
2006-12-07 03:11:24 · 21 answers · asked by Kim 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I did trust him until I found out he LIED to me. Keep in mind whenever he is caught lying to me its always somehow to protect me. He has a girl calling his phone he lies and says it the wrong # to PROTECT ME. He goes out drinking lies to protect my feelings. This is not about protecting me but rather himself. Had he told me he needed to talk to his ex about there child I would have understood that but to lie to me and have this talk over dinner an wine is not appropriate. Its just an excuse to cover his own butt. If you read any of my other post you will see i am not dealing with a class guy. The real question is why cant I leave?????
2006-12-07 03:29:12 · update #1
Well to answer your two questions, the respect is NOT IN that relationship and yes, you should be worried. Whether it is for your own good or not, lying is lying. Dishonesty is a huge divider in a relationship. if he can't be trusted, how can you commit to him? If he's not true, how can you even know him...? If this is a regular thing, let this boy go... You deserve someone who can be straight with you...
2006-12-07 03:24:17 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ Butterfly ♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am the same way. There are several at home treatments you can try. I find relaxation techniques such as yoga, breathing exercises stretching can work. Finding a happy place, a fun memory or favorite activity you can think about. For some people music will work, playing a favorite song can alter you mindset. If you feel as though nothing works it is always advisable to go talk to a therapist. There may be something triggering your stress that can be resolved. Good luck.
2016-05-23 03:38:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The main problem is that he lied. He needs to tell you if he is going out to dinner with her and you may have to accept it and know that you will not be invited everytime. This is an ex-wife with whom he has a child with, so she will be in his life forever....if you can't handle that then you need to move on.
2006-12-07 03:25:54 · answer #3 · answered by Cyber Stalker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be perfectly honest with you he doesnt sound like he is someone that can be trusted. If that situation is what he said it was then he should have could have discussed it with you. I see nothing wrong with him talking to her face to face with or with out you but the fact that he could be honest with his dealings is a more thatn a little questionable. If you want this to work i would suggest couples couselling B4 you tie the knot or the lies will never stop.
2006-12-07 03:25:03 · answer #4 · answered by LovelyLes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't like that he invited his ex to dinner and purposely didn't tell you about it. That would make me instantly leary. I also don't like that they had dinner...but I know they will always have a relationship based on the fact they have a daughter together. However, I think your fiancee should have more respect for you and only talk to his ex wife over the phone. His actions seem a bit too sneaky for my liking.
2006-12-07 03:19:30 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
get out. that is the same thing that happened to me and i didn't leave (well i did but came back so we could talk, he didn't even know) and then i ended up looking like the idiot with nothing while he got back with her.
i'm sorry. i can already see it happening. he's lying to cover his ***, he's trying to get out of the relationship and doesn't have the balls to tell you to your face. that's why its "your" fault and you need to grow up.
at the VERY least i wouldn't trust him. go everywhere with him, and if he has a problem with it, there's your answer. you should be worried. tell him that it's because you don't believe or trust him and if he wants to continue the relationship then you need to get them back. if not, he can go have his ex wife.
2006-12-07 03:30:07 · answer #6 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you were the main topic, maybe he wanted to keep the situation stable. I understand your anger, he shouldn't be dining with his ex wife, but at least his child was there with the both of them. Maybe he didn't invite her to dinner maybe it was for the sake of the child. Discuss with him that this is not OK with you, and that it shouldn't happen again, that if everyone want to be together as a family, to please include you since you are going to be married.
2006-12-07 03:17:54 · answer #7 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
evidently he feels that he has to kie to you in order to cut down on confusion. i think he feels that you cant handle the truth... whatever that may be. so instead of taking a risk and telling you what is really going on, a simple lie... or cover up keeps you at bay. if he would have been honest with you about the situation, you would have included yourself in the situation and he did not want that. try to be more understanding. and he may be more compelled to let you in on the true deal. he knows you and it is sad that there is no trust on your part
2006-12-07 03:23:00 · answer #8 · answered by DIONN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should be able to meet your accuser, and defend yourself. it was wrong of him, and he did not respect you as he should have. if it had been him that u did this too i am sure there would be a huge argument. the ex is jelous of you, and is mostlikely making up stories, she may be trying to win him back. maybe you need to reassess your relationship with him and see just what u do mean to him. u should have been allowed to be there, but all this was done behind your back. she will continue to cause you grief, are u really up to this. she is jelous of you, and wants to make it so hard on you, that u leave him. that was her intention.
2006-12-07 03:37:10 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him to go to HELL!! He's a liar and probably a cheater. I would find someone without the baggage of kids from a previous marriage. And unlike a previous post to throw the ringin his face....keep it and put it on Ebay. Then use that money to have a break-up party in Vegas!!!
2006-12-07 03:35:47 · answer #10 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋