without talking to each other but in the end i end up going to her and apologizing to make things easier at home i never remember a day she came asking for apology of any mistake she does i keep on bending my head for her what tactics should i use
2006-12-07 02:40:20 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, for starters I commend you for always doing te right thing and being kind and apologizing when the issue calls for it.
Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do to CHANGE your wife. But, you can change how YOU deal with the issues when they arise.
First, don't wait for days to discuss and finish an argument. The more time that goes on, the less you focus on the issue and the more you allow assumptions and past issues to cloud things. There is a rule that councelors ask couples to abide by :
NEVER LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON YOUR ANGER
This means that you should give each other a bit of space to think about how to talk about your problem so that rage and rectivity aren't factores. Then calmly sit together and work it out.
Working it out doesn't mean placing blame, or that everyone will be happy at the end of the talk....but it does mean that #1 you admit where you might be wrong and then #2 tell the other person how what they did or said made you feel.....THEN #3 ask them if that was their intent to make you feel that way. (95% of the time they will not realize that their actions had a certain effect)
While talking: No name calling or raising your voice. No bringing up the past. Stay in the moment and remind each other, when things begin to get heated, that your love for the other person is more than this moment or this issue.
Reminding yourself and your spouse of this will help you put and keep things in perspective.
Conflict resplution in marriage is a hard thing to get a handle on, but once you start abiding by these simple rules and principles....and comminucation becomes open and attainable, your marriage will come alive again and be renewed.
Good Luck, God Bless, & Merry Christmas
2006-12-07 02:50:15 · answer #1 · answered by brookebjpl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps you both need to insist on ending the argument before going to sleep. This is much easier said then done. It takes two to create an argument. It also takes two to resolve it. Perhaps she doesnt know how to apologize. Maybe you both can seek the advice of a professional, or try a book from your local library called the 5 languages of love. Best wishes for more satisfaction in your relationship. ;)
2006-12-07 10:50:11 · answer #2 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your apologies... That's what I do. Say something like, "Baby, I'm really sorry that it upset you when I said that Jennifer Aniston was hotter than you, but it hurt me when you said that you thought Denzel was the sexiest man alive..." Ok, cheesy, but you get the point. Point out that a lot of it was retaliation in your own pain, but be nice about it or it will cause another fight... Be sensitive, but sincere... â¥
2006-12-07 10:51:57 · answer #3 · answered by ♥ Butterfly ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
next time you 2 have an argument,, put on the fruit of the looms.. and let her come to you for a change,, she knows that you will wimper your way back to her.. wusss... stand up and be a man sometime,, stop acting like a bbbbiiiaaatttcchhh
2006-12-07 12:10:20 · answer #4 · answered by jon b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself. It really does no good to fight and argue--it ends up hurting the relationship more. Good communication is best--I know arguements happen--but I think you're both a little stubborn!!
2006-12-07 10:45:17 · answer #5 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was always told don't go to bed angry. I'd talk to her about this, I mean if its bothering you. Remember communication is always the key. If you don't communicate that this is bothering you then she will never know. Although she could be doing it out of spite, in that case then this could go deeper. I'd try communication first. My husband and I make this a rule!
2006-12-07 10:55:07 · answer #6 · answered by alyssa_the_great21 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well wife's are like that, just continues your relationship as it is continuing unless you do not feel good, than talk to her, that you want to compromise about how you two behave when you fight.
2006-12-07 10:49:41 · answer #7 · answered by The Calculus Alchemist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is wearing the PANTS in this relationship. Take off the PANTIES and be a MAN.
2006-12-07 12:43:07 · answer #8 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Prayer.
2006-12-07 10:55:48 · answer #9 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you a probably the one who is to blame LOL
2006-12-07 11:04:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋