Why do you still see him when he doesn't invite you to family events, he doesn't take you out where any of his friends can see you with him, he sees the wife weekly because of the kids and sometimes has her over for dinner ( even though the wife refuses to sleep with him), he wears his wedding ring to work functions and he hasn't filed for divorce after more than a year?
To guilty husbands, this question is not to you. I am simply trying to undertsnd the thought processes here. This is not about blaming. Everyone has some fault here. Thank you for real answers.
2006-12-07 02:20:38 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Channel your bitterness into something positive or it's going to eat you alive lady !!!
2006-12-07 02:24:46 · answer #1 · answered by gozedown 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This question isn't for me, but I've had a mistress before.
Perhaps the reason that "the other woman" prefers that kind of relationship is that all they're looking for is a sex partner and can do without all of the 'extended family baggage' that comes with married, committed or monagamous relationship.
My last mistress had no desire for marriage (after two failed ones) or kids (hates them), so the arrangement was perfect in that she got physical partnership on a regular basis from a very safe partner, for no hassle.
If you're not into the big family setup and like your cosmopolitan solitude, hobbies and/or freedom of movement, it's actually not a bad setup as long as your partner's wife is OK with it...
...which is usually the sticking point in 99% of these relationships.
2006-12-07 02:27:48 · answer #2 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Debra P, you are the cheater's wife. You know he is chasing sex from another woman. You have children together & see each other often. WHY DON'T YOU FILE FOR A DIVORCE? He is a pig in front of family & his kids and you ALLOW this?
This is the role model for your kids? Do they think it's cool that daddy has a mistress on the side RIGHT IN FRONT OF MOM'S FACE?!
You are NOT married to him at all. He has his own agenda & it obviously has nothing to do with vows or family life. He's a swinger with YOU as a back up option. Kick him to the curb.
2006-12-07 02:33:04 · answer #3 · answered by upside down 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never been the other woman, but my hubby just had an afair and i have spoken to the other woman about it. Every mans story will be different. My hubby just told her that he wasnt happy at home. HE never made her promises, never told her he was going to divorce me. SHe knew it was just sex, she knew that when he was done with her, he went home to his wife and kids and was pretending like nothing was wrong. My husband had a 6 month affair and the whole time, she knew he was never going to leave me. Some men will lie to their lover and tell her hes going through a divorce, but my husband, just told her it was sex. He might not have left me for her, but now i'm leaving him. so now he's out a wife, family, marriage and a girlfriend, cuz she has moved on with someone else. So, his actions have him all alone.
2006-12-07 02:51:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not a guilty husband, I have never cheated, but a girl in my office IS the other woman and she is open about it, She says she likes to be with married guys because she can live the single life with no attachments, get her booty call, and when her guy feels guilty she gets stuff (money, clothes). She has even hit on me, only now she knows there is no chance. She tells me (and other married guys) how she is I believe in hopes to entice us into her web. In other words, for her personality she has her cake AND is eating it too.
2006-12-07 02:30:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me say here that I've never done and my hubby never has done either, still...
That's a good question and I hope it gets them to do some thinking on their part.
I knew this girl who was going out with a married man and she couldn't understand why he wouldn't leave his ugly wife for her.
He simply knows who butters his bread.
2006-12-07 02:27:25 · answer #6 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is blind ... when u fall in love with someone u lose senses of whats right or wrong all u care about is when his gong to be with u , u try not to think about the wrong things that his doing coz u know if u tell him u wont put up with how he treats u he will find some one who will , and after all he is a cheater its not hard for him to walk away from u , if he did it to his wife and his children its obvious he doesn't care about anyone but his needs and himself , why do i stay its coz i want him for me i know I'm second to him and but it doesn't matter any more ...its the devil inside all of us.
2006-12-07 02:35:26 · answer #7 · answered by amal L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there. He tells us that he will leave her and we want to believe it because then were so deep into it that you don't think straight. Then it becomes a challenge. He returned to his wife and they have another kid. It took my mother to make me see that I had wasted three years but I would waste more unless I let it go. It was tough, but I did.
2006-12-07 02:26:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes done too that when i was 23, he was 43 & made me believe that there was a big rift wif his wife. i was naive to think that we had a future. after a year, i ended the relationship.
2006-12-07 02:32:32 · answer #9 · answered by milo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit worrying about her. Get over to www.marriagebuilders.com and make a plan for your own personal recovery. She's not worth your time.
2006-12-07 02:26:11 · answer #10 · answered by Shane 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋