I left my husband and asked for a divorce because he was using drugs and was a addict, now that he is clean and has a good job and wants to work things out and willing to do what it takes to be with me, he wants me back, and now that I moved in to my own apartment and moved on after 6 months of being without him I fell for someone else.I don't know what to do. Should I take him back or should I move on.We have a son and I don't want to be with him just because of that.Help
2006-12-07 02:16:30 · 32 answers · asked by rissann22 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
please, move on.
it's going to be the same cycle, over and over again, you get back together, he might return back to his old ways.
you two are going to be divorced. you both agreed on that.
you're with someone else now, you love someone else, you have to get that through your husband's head.
he can't just want you one second then hate you the next, and want you the next.... that's a disgrace to you and it is also very immature.
you have an apartment, a guy you love, a job, you're better of if you start off on your own.
get back together, he might revert to his old, drug-addled ways.
but then again, you wouldnt have to listen to me or any of the answers here.
follow your heart, and see where it leads you.
hope this helps!
2006-12-07 02:20:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You obviously just can't jump back into it because there are too many hurt feelings but I don't think you would have asked this question if you didn't still have feeling for your husband.
My advice is to put the divorce on a hold and maybe just go for a legal separation. Keep your apartment and things like you have it right now and date. Start from the beginning. See if in six months or maybe more if you still feel the love, respect & trust that you did for him when you were in love with him to decide if you want to continue with the relationship or not. You have to protect yourself and your son in this situation too and this is probably the safest way to do that. If your husband really loves you and wants you back, he'll eventually understand and go with it.
You didn't state how old your son is but if he is old enough to kind of understand make sure he knows what is going on so he didn't think that mom and dad are back together and get his heart broke if things don't work out.
Good luck
2006-12-07 02:47:06 · answer #2 · answered by The Steele's 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. Your relationship with your ex husband didn't work out for a reason. You falling in love with someone else should be reason enough to move on. People divorce all the time and fall in love with other people. Not to be mean, it was good your ex cleaned up, but I'm assuming he's had that chance plenty of times before. Just be honest with him, if you really love this other person, you would talk to your husband about it and tell him gently that yoiu have just moved on and that you ask he do the same. Also I know that some responses are to go back because of the child, but on the same note what if your ex turns back to the way he was? That wouldn't be healthy for the child either, but you also have to do what makes you happy too. Good Luck.
2006-12-07 02:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by nothing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the saying "you don't know what you have until it's gone". My be your husband realize that and that is why he's stop doing drug. I hope that is so true. You and your husband have loved each other at one time and I believe you both gone through up and down together and that is part of life. You have to look at your relationship between you and the father of your child. I don't think your husband set out to be drug addict husband and father. If you any chance see some good in him and believe that he is telling you the truth, then I believe you should give him a chance. It is hard to built relationship and even harder to built family. It is easy to walk away and start new relationship and then the new relationship become old relationship. Good luck and I wish you with all the best.
Don't make it easy for him. Make sure he understand that the trust for him is gone and he have to built it up all over again.
Remember, love it's 2 ways street.
2006-12-07 02:51:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing that you can do in your life is to get back ith your husband. Both of you and your son will make up a happy family.
Forget the past. Your son is destined to live with his mum and dad. Do not take this away from him. He will grow up and one day he may ask you or hold you responsible. Your hubby is now clean. He must have done a very big effort to become clean. Not many people do it. And believe me, he will do much more to be a good husband and a good dad. You will not regret it.
2006-12-07 02:27:10 · answer #5 · answered by the.buster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well- your ovbiousouly over your husband because you already love someone else. This is gonna suck for him because lets say for example you decide to leave your new partner and go back to your husband- your taking th risk of living with the husband again and him falling back into his bad habbit and then you'll regret dropping the good man you have now for him. I know this sounds selfish but- you've already moved on with your life- your husband shoould too. I think that if you go back to your husband he will shove in your face that you were seeing other people and make you feel bad about it. Keep the new guy and kiss the husband goodbye. IT's good that he's clean now and that he's gotten straightened out but the trick is- how long wil he be clean? you don't know that and it's too risky for you to consider to leave the new life you have now and go back to your old, miserable life. That's how life is though.
2006-12-07 02:23:07 · answer #6 · answered by Ms.Budonkadonk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's been 6 months since you've been with your husband and you've found happiness elsewhere. I think you and your husband should stay apart and let him find happiness somewhere else. You will always have a life long bond with him because of your son but don't let that influence your decision to go back. Keep moving forward girl. There's no telling if he'll go back to using drugs once you're back together. Good luck!!!!
2006-12-07 02:23:02 · answer #7 · answered by u r 2 cute 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After all you have been through, you are only going to find your answer in one place, and that is through prayer. Pray about it & follow your heart. You know what you feel & what is best. You know not to get back together w/ him for the sake of your son. You want him to grow up in a happy, healthy household & if that means his dad isn't in the picture 24/7, so be it; they can still have a relationship, even if you don't have "that kind" of relationship w/ his father. Ask God what you should do. You aren't going to find your answer anywhere else...
2006-12-07 07:37:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a high school guy, I think i'm learning love, and if you are really in love with this new guy, then there's nothin anybody can do about it. Like me and my girlfriend, we know we want to have something together so we're goin to try and get things as good as they can. Even if things don't work out with us, we're still gonna wish for the best for the other person. With you and your husband, I think you should stay with the one you are really in love with. Your son and his dad can still have a close relation but you're not fully into it, you two shouldn't be together. I think if he really has love for you, he's gonna respect you and hope you get the best out of whatever. If he don't have that respect for you, then i would say that's o.v.
2006-12-07 02:24:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well think deeply first and weigh things carefully.IF theres no love left in your heart for your husband then dont go back to him.But six months is not enough to see your true feelings..Only you could know what you really want.I just think that your husband might change temporarily so he could get you back to him but he'll have drugs again in the future..Or he really changed.Does he battered you at the past?IF yes then dont go back to him.He might do it again without any drugs in his viens.New love is not questioned in here but your safety and the safety of your child.So be wise and after that you could have a great life again.Thats all hope i helped you.
2006-12-07 02:28:36 · answer #10 · answered by missy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you still love him? If so then I think it would be great if you could work things out. Take it slow you don't have to jump right back into it. If you are having lots of doubts then take some time to decide. Maybe make a list of pros and cons about getting back together and see which one feels up the quickest!
2006-12-07 02:19:29 · answer #11 · answered by Becky R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋