She's a wonderful girl, very good student, has never hurt me or done something bad, just those normal minors faults. She treats me and my hubby with love. But she goes out to much, it's hard to find time to talk with her, hard to get qualty time. She has many activities, takes part in voluteering activities, swims, a lot of things. Sometimes I miss her so much and since I have a job, things are even more difficult. Well, last weekend my hubby was on a trip, I was feeling lonely so I grounded her just to have her with me. I didn't let her go out, friends just for 1 hour Saturday and Sunday. She asked me What did I do to be grounded???, I just said, well you, you...wel Im your mom and have the right to ground you hun, but don't worry, I'll treat you with all my love.She didnt enjoy her grounding, but at least we finally could talk, I had a wonderful weekend. She just sighed in resignation, made no fuss. It was just a grounding, not a punishment, but she's a bit confused.
2006-12-07 01:58:18 · 32 answers · asked by Laura 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It might have been more productive had you discussed this with her instead of imposing it on her. You say YOU had a wonderful weekend. Did she?
2006-12-07 02:01:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd assume she would be very confused.
Grounding is a way of punishment. And, obviously that's not what happened on the weekend.
You should be honest with her. Tell her that she needs to spend some more time at home. I'd start to limit her activities with her friends. However, since she is 15 it's going to be very hard to start this now. Perhaps, designate an evening that is not so busy as family night. That night you order out for her favorite resteraunt and turn OFF the tv. Just sit and play games and talk. If you have a fireplace light up the fire.
I think you are possible realizing that she's going to be off to college soon and you'll miss the time you could have had together. Also, since she is a teenager it's only normal she wants to spend her time with her friends. I'm sure you remember how those High School years were!
One last thing...
If you are feeling lonely because your hubby is out of town...is there a girlfriend you can call? I understand wanting to spend more time with your daughter, but if you miss hubby maybe a girlfriend would be able to understand that better. And, give you the support you need. :)))
2006-12-07 02:06:25 · answer #2 · answered by Baby #3 due 10/13/09 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of grounding her, why dont you tell her that you want to spend the day with her on a Sunday or something. Let her know in advance so she does not have to get rid of all her plans. That or you can always make Sunday a family day. Thats what my parents did, it was are lazy day that we spent together. And if something was going on that was important or special then what would happen is that we had to be home around 5pm so we can all eat dinner together and then watch a movie or something together. It sounds like you have a great daughter so I dont see why you would have a prob with anything. Good luck!
2006-12-07 03:46:08 · answer #3 · answered by angel01182 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's sounds like you've done a great job and managed to bring up a really nice young lady. Treat her like one. Tell her the truth. Tell her that you really miss her and you'd really like to spend more time with her. She's being a normal teenager, you will get her back don't worry, but it can be hard when they are going through that phase.
Just ask her if she could find some time for you in her busy schedule. And come clean about last weekend. Tell the only thing she has done wrong it to turn out so great, she shouldn't be punished for that.
Have faith in yourself, and her, you've done good she'll understand.
2006-12-07 02:11:14 · answer #4 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the fizzuck are you thinking? did you have a kid or get a dog?
First off, you are expecting her to see to your needs. I'm sorry you don't have a mother(obviously) but that doesn't give you the right to give your daughter your mom's responsibility to make you feel validated. So you chose a paycheck over your daughter... guess what, she's still her own person. I'm so stirred up right now I'd like to kick you in your nappy cooch. And that's crazy considering you people don't really mess with my head much.
You suck. Do the girl a favor and have a full helping of cyanide.
And feel free to let me know PERSONALLY if this post was a prank, cuz otherwise I'mma look into child abuse proceedings.
2006-12-07 04:07:59 · answer #5 · answered by Red Winged Bandit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child should not need to be grounded to spend time with their family. Grounding *IS* seen as a punishment. That's not going to create a very positive attitude!
Instead, just let her know that it's expected that she spend some time with her family. Plan things in advance so she'll know when family activities are and not make other plans with her friends those days.
2006-12-07 02:03:29 · answer #6 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No that is the wrong thing to do! Grounding her for no reason!!! She is at that age where she is gunna wanna be with her friends more than you!!! Maybe sit down and talk to her about it! Suggest to her that yall should both put asside 2-3 days a month to do something together!!! Like go to the movies or just have a girls night at home!!! If she is like you said she is then she will not mind it at all!!! Just talk to her! Good Luck with everything!!!
2006-12-07 02:05:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have an 18 year-old and at that age it's hard to keep up with them. My son was the same way - school - work - friends. I never got to see him. Finally I sat him down and told him that I loved him very much and asked him if it would be to much to ask him to spend 3 hours a week with me. As it wont be much longer that he will be on his own going off to college and that I would not see much of him .It was hard to get his friends to understand this but we have become even more closer with just a few hours a week of him and and me time. Now he spends his entire Saturdays with me.
2006-12-07 02:27:00 · answer #8 · answered by bigbustymamma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 16 year old daughter enjoys time with me. She comes and sits in my lap sometimes and it makes me feel good and for her too. Don't get me wrong, there are days when I would like to lock her up and throw away the key. She needs time with her friends and it is good for her to need time with you. Maybe, next time, choose an activity that you both like and go do it. And not ground her for no reason. We love our children or most of us do. And to find that fine line.... is hard sometimes.
2006-12-07 03:52:42 · answer #9 · answered by docie555@yahoo.com 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ground her just to spend time with her,that should be used as a punishment,Instead plan activities that you could do together. Something that you both will enjoy.
2006-12-07 02:49:34 · answer #10 · answered by patty m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds to be the perfect daughter, although i think coaxing her to stay with you is more apt than grounding, after all she hasn't done anything wrong. Try taking more interest in her activities and perhaps go along with her when she goes for a swim, don't try to stay to close though, she's more likely to come round in her own time, than with a drill Sergeant laying down the law.
2006-12-07 02:19:24 · answer #11 · answered by Why cant i read my daily Emails? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋