Does my fiance's ex wife hate me because their kids love me?

Question

My fiance and I have been together about four years. We've always had In and out drama with his ex. We agreed to take In one of his two children from his previous marriage seeing that his ex wife basically "put their nine year old out of her house" because she "could not deal with her attitude". Their nine year old lived with us for seven months,In this time her mother called maybe four or five times and would blame the daughter for the reason why they didn't talk. When she would visit she would come home and tell my fiance and I that her mother said she Is her mother and no one will take her place and we are not better than her and etc. We put our nine year old on punishment for her constant atiitudes and her mother came over and took her back home and told us we could not see her anymore and she was telling her daughter how we failed as parents. And later called me and told me she was going to hurt me when she sees me because she can't believe I treated "her" daughter the way I did

Answer 1

I'm in the exact same situation. My stepdaughter has lived with my husband and I since we got married 3 years ago, along with my 2 daughters from my first marriage. She moved home with her mom about 1 year ago because her mother made her feel guilty and told her she love me more than her own mom. She didn't call or see her for weeks at a time and told her it was because she knew she didn't really want to hear from her. My stepdaughter only lived with her for 6 weeks till she called me and asked if she could come back home....which of course I said yes. Don't let it bother you....just because she gave birth do her doesn't make her her mom....just her birth mother. And just because you didn't give birth to her only means your not her birth mother....you're still her mom.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I think your fiance's daughter is doing exactly what I used to do with my divorced parents. She is playing the back and forth game where when her mother punishes her for her attitude or what not she'll go and live with you and then when you guys punish her than she tells her mom and her mom comes and gets her. It is a fine line but It is like every relationship especially if there is a child involved. My fiance has a daughter too and she is only 2 yrs old. Her mother put a restraining order on me because she simply wants more control over my fiance. You need to be careful and find your place in all of this and where you fit in. It is very hard and stressful to do but if i can do it anyone can. Good luck!!!

Answer 4

Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/WNph1
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.

Answer 5

Sounds like the ex has a combination of issues. Jealousy to one of the biggest.

I know it can be hard to deal with. Just stay prayerful and try not to get in her way. If she puts her hands on you, most definitely PRESS CHARGES so she can start to accumulate a police record.

Answer 6

Have you ever discussed the matter with your fiance's ex face to face, be honest with her and set the record straight once and for all

Answer 7

omg! The woman is nuts! I'm sure she hates you for several reasons....because her kids love you, because her ex-husband loves you ...etc...etc....but it sounds like she needs some major therapy to deal with all of her issue's.....talk to the proper authorities and protect yourself from this lunatic woman!