Boyfriend of 2 years saying he doesn't like the responsiblity.?

Question

I have been w/ my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. He is 27 no kids, and I am 31 w/ 3 kids. He keeps telling me he doesn't like the responsiblity of the family etc.. but then says it's just a mood he is having. I hear it more frequently now. I don't want to make his life miserable. He insists he wants to be w/ me. I am not sure what to do.

Answer 1

If he doesnt want the family life, Then tell him he needs to go. Tell him to stop playing with your heart. That you need someone that will accept you and your kids Whole Heartedly! Tell him you cant always wonder if hes gonna run off, that you have much more important things to worry about. Tell him you are in the relationship for the long haul and that if hes not, then he needs to go. Im sorry your going thru this. keep your chin up. :)

Answer 2

I would have to say do what is right for the children. I think that it sucks that he has decided that he has a problem with the kids after he has taken the time to get to know you and the kids for so long.
I think that as a single mother it is hard to finally bring someone around the kids and let the kids get to know them not knowing how long he is going to stick around. Then he comes in like an answer to a prayer and hangs around for two years and then decides that he doesn't want kids. That's crap. I hate to say this but I think that probably some other woman has approached him and he is rethinking his options. Which is crap because he should have done that in the beginning. I know it is hard to be a man and decide that you are going to be with a woman and take care of some other mans kids, but that is a decision you need to make prior to spending to much time with the kids don't go around get the kids attached and then decide you don't want to be there.
Just tell him that you can't afford to play games with him either he wants to be there or he doesn't. That your kids are the most important thing in your life and if he is to be apart of your life he will have to accept the kids too.
Tell him that the longer he stays around and then decides will make those kids feel like he is leaving them too not just leaving you.

Answer 3

That sounds very familiar. I am 24 with a younger gf that has a little girls that I love love and consider my own. But at times, it all feels overwhelming, and I just want to be free of all the resposibilities. It is different when there are kids involved, because it is then considered a family...not just a relationship. I have felt trapped plenty of times, so I get where he is coming from. However, if he does not tell you exactly what he is thinking, then he is in the wrong. Just make sure that he really can handle all of the responsibility. Because if not, he will either drag on and eventually leave, or go behind your back to feel free again. Make him talk to you.

Answer 4

I agree with a previous poster. Do what is right for the kids. I think if he resents the responsiblity of the kids now...what is he going to do as the kids get older and responsiblity and duties get more intense?

Answer 5

Here is what you do ask him a straight up answer "Do you want to be with me? and if you do are you willing to be with me w/kids?
He knows this is a package deal and I know he knows it for himself. But he has to make up in his mind what it is that he really wants in this life and how much of it do he really want to sacrifice, see most men notice a woman with children and the don't want to be in that setup because of the other man being the father of the children and they just don't want to be resposible for the other mans children.

You have to understand that he might be having problems with this simply he might feel that there will be added pressure on him for whatever he wants to do, then he might not be mature enough to want to handle this as a real man...So you my dear have a dilema either you tell him do he wants you w/kids or should we make the break here...I know that is a tough thing to do but you have to look at it this way he has to make a choice and that is the real honest to Gods truth....Think about it before you go to him with this...You will feel much better when you do.

Answer 6

Well raising 3 kids is a big responsibility. If he doen't like responsiblities then find someone who does. He's not ready to grow up yet.

Answer 7

well.... he will definitely feel the burden. He could be missing the attetnion he needs from u. But if he loves u he will accept it. U need to give him the space and talk to him. Understnd how he feels and make him know what u feel about the situation tee... there is no one right answer to this. There will be a lot adjustments needed from both. U must also spend more time with him... hope this works out...good luck..

Answer 8

Your kiddos should come first...he sounds like he wants to be first. He's hinting around that he loves you just not the kiddo situation.Be very careful, don't let your feelings for him make you wind up doing something that would jeopardized your children, and don't let him do anything that would put you at risk of losing them. Some guys are just that low (and jealous) and if you're with him when he does it...your kids are gone.

Answer 9

If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck... chances are it's a duck.

He's warning you that he won't be a stable "stick around" kind of guy. If you don't heed the warning, it's your own fault. Stay with him and you will be dumped eventually, probably right after your kids start to form an emotional bond with him. Listen to the advice of the first answerer...

Answer 10

I am curious what kind of responibility would he have seeing as though they are your kids. Perhaps he just isn't mature enough to share you. If you continue to hear it walk away. You don't need a 27 year old kid to console because you are a mother.