Do you really think Christmas is a time to forgive all, even someone who has wronged you?

Question

My mother in law has done and said some pretty unforgivable things. The family still tries to get us all together. Despite what they think it is hard for us as well. They just think alot of time has past, 4 years to be exact, and they think we should forgive her. She said she doesn't have time to be a grandmother to my kids. Once in awhile she tries to contact my husband or sends him a card but not to my children. Last time he asked her why, she said, she doesn't love them. Anyhow, should I forgive someone like this? Or am I better off sticking with my own instincts that my children are better off with her not in their lives?

Answer 1

No, don't forgive a woman like that!!!! My mother is like that and she is a horrid woman. Life is so much better with her not part of our lives. My children have only missed out on being treated shitty by her so Don't forgive a person who is and will be cruel again. Life experience.

Answer 2

First of all, you don't have to wait for Christmas to forgive someone. If you're a christian, we're commanded in the bible to forgive our neighbors without counting. God has forgiven us our sins, and therefore we should forgive those around us. If you're not a christian, not forgiving someone can cause acid reflux, indegestion, and other horrible bodily ailments. Holding grudges against people just doesn't feel right. Should you forgive her? Absolutely.
However, just because you forgive her does not mean you should have to try to make her a part of your children's lives. If she doesn't love them, as you stated, that's fine. She can stay away from them, but that can be done in a nice way. When I was younger, we sort of adopted elderly women in the community that didn't have families locally as my grandmothers, and they mean the world to me. Being a grandmother has nothing to do with blood, but being like a family member, to provide care, etc. (And I'm not kidding, they have the best stories...)

Answer 3

I am not religious, but celebrate Christmas as a time for family to be together and to give my love to them. I am tempted to be more generous and more forgiving towards others. What I am trying to say is: the Christmas spirit gives you an opportunity to tackle awkward situations, but it is entirely up to you what you do with it. If you cannot see yourself forgiving your mother in law in the future, then Christmas should not make a difference. She clearly isn't interested. You could use the opportunity of Christmas to 'introduce' your children to her and give her a chance to start loving them. You could give her a choice to change her attitude towards them, if not you, and if she is not willing, then you have tried. If she starts getting better, you might even go for an apology from her in time to come. Whether or not that will do it for you or whether you are still going to be happy about it for your childrens' sake, is up to you. What does your partner think? Good Luck!

Answer 4

I think you should forgive so you can move on from the wrong that has happend to you and become a better person by not letting it bring you down during such a wonderful time of year. Life is so short to not forgive, what if someone was to never forgive you how would that make you feel people make bad choices and thats what they are bad choices not bad people. the hardest part of holding on is the letting go. can i get
AMEN

Answer 5

I agree with you completely...your children are better off not having someone like that in their lives. They need responsible and loving role models in their lives, and you are right to want to protect them from this. As far as other family members trying to make you "get over it", I would politely ask them to repect your wishes so that everyone can enjoy the holiday without worrying what is going to happen. My mother tries the same sort of thing with me...she tries to trick me into being at her home the same time her oldest son is there....the thing is, he molested me for years while we were growing up, but they think I should just "get over it" too. Be strong, you have your husband and kids as support...Good Luck !!!

Merry Christmas !!!

Answer 6

Forgiveness shouldn't be limited to the Christmas season. If people realized how important forgiveness is, I think it wouldn't be such a struggle to practice it.

In your case, your mother-in-law is the one who has the problem here. I would make sure your children understand that SHE is the problem - not them. I have a similiar nasty little situation in my extended family.

Try not to hold any ill will against your mother-in-law. She is to be pitied more than anything else.

Answer 7

I would trust my OWN instincts! I believe you can forgive someone but she has pretty much stepped WAY over the line by saying she does not love the kids.What is wrong w/ her?????Why make yourself miserable for Christmas around her?It is your Christmas too.I have a Father,well Ex father,who has done the same thing to his Only Grandson.Do you think I am going to make us miserable on Christmas?NO WAY!!!!!

Answer 8

every day is a time to forgive all. only christmas is a time for forgiving because people are happier(gifts) and singing christmas carols all around. you could become the better person and just forgive. it is not weak,but a rather mature thing so you can move on and not let people get you down who aren't worth getting you unhappy.

Answer 9

I think EVERYDAY is a time to forgive all. Try not to hold things like someone doing you wrong in your heart. Everyone makes mistakes. So, if you fill your your heart with forgiveness, it will push out all of that mistake. Here's a challenge....call that person now and simply say I forgive you (even if they have not asked for it). I promise you, you will feel so much better letting that go. Good luck!

Answer 10

It is a good of a day to forgive as any other day (at least a good time to start).

Jesus said that we need to forgive others, if we want our Heavenly Father to forgive us.