Is it a BIG ISSUE?

Question

im 19 n he's 27, does the age really matter? no not for us, we love each other vry much. but really is it a big issue in a relationship?

Answer 1

I really don't think so. It depends on the maturity level of both partners. If you share the same desires, dreams, and outlook on life, I can't see any problem. The main factor in any relationship is love, trust, honesty and respect. If you have these components in your relationship, I really don't feel age is a barrier.Good luck to both of you, when you find something good, don't let go.

Answer 2

If you are both mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually mature and on the same level...it should not matter. However, you are 19, so I hope it is not some kind of burried issues that you are trying to reslove. Katie Holmes is 17 years younger than Tom Cruise. When Katie was a child she had a crush on Tom and it was an innocent childhood crush, like most children have on older adults. She dreamed she would grow up and marry Tom Cruise. She grew up infactuated with him. When she got into the buisness and met him then Tom discovered that Katie always had a crush on him. Tom had an inflated ego and was flattered that this beautiful young woman had these feelings. He began chasing her and they eventually married. MY concern is...did Tom Cruise take advantage of this innocent fairy tale view Katie had of him? Should he have simply been flattered and acknowledged her feelings and been a good role model for her but allowed her to go onwith life and find someone who was more her age and more suitable for her. Was Tom acting on his own ego and his own hormones. If so, then one day it will end as fast as it started. I predict that one day Katie will get out of bed and look at Tom and realize that he is an old man and that she is a young girl and that they are not on the same level. The epiphany moment for her will reveal that she had a fairy tale dream, it somehow got mixed up with reality and things moved too fast and she did not have time to think rationally and intellectually about this and her emotions had controlled her decision making decisions. She will realize that she married a person that did not exist...she married her fantasy man. Tom if he ever wakes up to the reality of what he has done will realize that he has taken advantage of the innocent young Katie and has allowed her fantasy to be distorted. You see they may have built a relationship but was it for the right reasons? Sometimes another point is that one must examine your relationship with your parents. If a man goes after an older woman, he may have "Mommy" issues. Or if a woman goes after an older man she may have "Daddy issues". Another view is that if an older man goes after a young woman, he may not be matured for his age at the age his body is and may be emotionally at the age of the woman he is seeking and vice versa for the older woman seeking the younger man. Also, depending on the age could it be a sexual issue? These are things you want to consider and rule out. If you both are of legal age and of sound mind and feel you both have no issues. Then it is your choice. Sometimes the best thing we can do, is to work on ourselves first. Get rid of baggage and get to a place that we can be the best we can be before getting into complex relationships. Sometimes people think they are in love but it isn't a true lifelong love. Would you be comfortable with her when she is 38 and you are 30? Do you have infactuation or commitment? Will you stay together through all things? Will you respect each other later or resent each other? How are the families? What about friends? Can you have healthy friend and family relations together and apart? It is your life, you get one shot. Make wise decisions that you can live with and that you will have no regrets. If you make this decision, I hope it works for you. If you think long and hard and decide to continue it, then do not let others opinions influence you in anyway. Some people will have different views on this...but at the end of the day...the only views that should mattter to you and to her is your own and each others. Best of life to both of you regardless of how it turns out! Peace.

Answer 3

I have had big gaps. It does depend on the maturity level. I'm very mature and I'm marrying someone 5yrs older and it perfect for us. I've had bigger gaps, and the most common thing I see happen...is not so much maturity (cuz if you aren't leveled with him he won't stay long) but instead interest. You two might find the same thing here in a few years. Your interests will change and his with the years. He's approaching 30, he will reflect on things in his life and might be at a stage you can't understand or find interesting. I see that the biggest issue. You are too young to be married, I'll tell you that. I didn't listen when ppl told me that at yuor age...I know they were right now that.

Answer 4

NO!!!

My folks have been married for 53 years.
My mom was 19 and my dad 27 when they got married.

They are a really cute couple.
The world would be a much better place if everyone had the type of relationship that they have.

I can't see why age should make any difference.
I'm one year older than my husband and we have a fantastic relationship.

Answer 5

Age is just a number. i am in the same situation as you. I'm 20 and my partner is 29. we got together when i was 18 and he was 27. It's never been a problem for us. i feel we have the same mental age. (well men are immature ain't they) everyone that i no who are married after decades all have large age gaps (around 10 years) with the woman younger. could you honestly see yourself with a immature bloke your own age. i certainly couldn't. hope this has helped

Answer 6

It can be a big issue. It depends on the individuals. Some people act young for their age and others act old for their age. Just make sure you have more then just a physical attraction and make sure that he is not already married.

Answer 7

At your age it is. There is something wrong with a guy who wants to be with a teenager!
Things would be different if you were 30 and he was 38.
For now, this is not a great situation for you. Again, there are concerns about why he wouldn't be dating women his age (absolutely no offence to you) - kind of strange.

Answer 8

That is a pretty be gap at your stages of life.

He is almost 50% older than you. He has lived and experienced much more .

You are just starting adulthood. Live your life before making a choice that is suppose to be forever

Answer 9

Yes. Add 2 more years to his age and he'll be 10 years older than you.

Answer 10

To me, as long as your both are of legal age, it doesn't matter. Just you have to make sure of one thing when it comes to older men, make sure that you both want the same things...He may have already had children etc. One day in the next couple years you may want them and he may not. Just to whats fare to you okay?