hi.i just got married a few days ago and im happy with my wife she seems happy too but now its 6 days and we havent had sex even once not even our first time yet.i just dont know whats wrong.when i come home i hug her and kiss her but she concentrates on what im doing but doesnt try to take it to the next level i kiss her she kisses me and hugs me but when i begin to touch her and kiss deeply she seems to loose intrest like doesnt want to go further.and shes a little shy she wont tell or put my hands where she wants and stuff or guide me in anyway so i dont know what to do.we sleep in same bed but just with eachother and she wont get naked or try to get me in the mood.she doesnt like it when i try to touch her a lot shes kind of very shy.even thow we know each other a lot and wer friends since childhood but we never wer physical.just like best friends and i told her i love her and soon after we got married and it wont go to next level how do i get to without hurtin her feelin.plz girls
2006-12-07 01:27:57 · 15 answers · asked by u know me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hmm that is a tough one. Be patient try and get her in the mood, get her a glass of wine, a romantic movie, and maybe get her intoxicated so she can loosen up.
2006-12-07 01:30:33 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ ღAngelicaღ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do people make the mistake of getting into a marriage without ironing all the details? Sex is a major detail, even for your shy wife. Didn't you two even discuss what may take place on your wedding night? She may be shy it seems to y ou, but you can't continue to take this lying down. Try to have a serious but civil conversation with her. Let her know that you are supportive of her and her inhibitions, but that you want to express your love for her doing what married people do. Try to be easy and as gentle as possible. She may not like it in the beginning, but if you are doing the correct things, she can't help but to like it and come back for more. If that doesn't work, seek counseling, I thought that all newlyweds break their first bed together!
2006-12-07 03:51:02 · answer #2 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is horrible! I've been married for a little over a year now. It started off like fireworks and my sex life is now what you describe. You're in the rut and never got the fireworks! My wife and I were friends since we were young as well and I think that is what causes the problem. Her and I should have stayed friends, which is probably the same for you in this situation.
Since you haven't consumated your marriage, I would get an annulment immediately...if not sooner!!!
2006-12-07 01:38:12 · answer #3 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My understanding is that you two have NEVER had sex. Are youboth virgins? She is scared about sex if that is so. You need to comfort her. You need to talk about it. Sex is an issue that ruins people's marriage, and to be having problems this early..well..yikes. Get it resolved. You are going to have to wait though. If you push her into it, she won't like it. If she's never had sex, the first time will be rough and she might not want it again for a while. But that, with time, will change. You need to talk to her about how it affects you and how you two can go about figuring out when the right time is.
2006-12-07 01:33:34 · answer #4 · answered by ladie_eclipse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is a virgin, and afraid of the horror stories she may have heared, be gentle with her, and she will come around, just let her know you will be gentle, and how much you love her,and she will come around, get her to share with you, what is on her mind, how does she feel about sex, open her up for conversation, and you will better understand the why of her behaviour, could be something that happened in her childhood, that causes her to shy away..You have to talk to her, and give her the ease to share it with you..Be tender, and help her to help you to understand..Surely, she loves you, she married you...I believe it to be deeper, than just not wanting to have sex..Love her enough, so she can feel at ease to share what is going on with her. Hope things works out!!!
2006-12-07 01:36:30 · answer #5 · answered by ladymaryum 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is very scared, or you are not her sex type, and she married you to prove a point with her parents. Not having sex, something is wrong there. You sleep in the same bed for security purposes. Sorry, but it sounds like you need to get an annulment. QUICKLY!!!! The friends thing isn't working for you.
GOOD LUCK!!!! WITH WHATEVER HAPPENS!!!
2006-12-07 01:51:51 · answer #6 · answered by squeaky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it slow. Try talking to her instead of just trying to get physically intimate. Perhaps she has some insecurities or something in her past that makes her scared of sex. Perhaps she's afraid of what you will think of her. I know talking takes a lot of the spontaneity out of sex, but talking brings in a lot of romance. Set aside a few hours to just speak with her about your physical relationship, give her gifts, talk to her about how much you love her and how you want to know everything about her and make her comfortable..... and have a bit of patience with her.
2006-12-07 01:31:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself a nice bottle of wine and sneak away to a spa or a honeymoon hotel room. Sit and talk, get her comfortable and go slow. I can't tell from what you have written if she is possibly a virgin and is afraid or it is just being shy.
2006-12-07 01:37:36 · answer #8 · answered by supressdesires 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring home a porno she might not know what a man and woman should do. Tell her that's what man and woman do and if she is interested then you two can experiment if not then you will need to go else where because all men have needs.
2006-12-07 01:47:04 · answer #9 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to ask her what is wrong. You probably should have discussed this before you got married. I would get counseling for both of you.
2006-12-07 01:31:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋