brighten my day pleaze, I'm sad?

Answer 1

you are a no good, good for nothing b@@ch....

not really..... you are hear to brighten up everyone elses day.

you selfish angel you.

Answer 2

How about a joke then.

This is a quick story about the bond formed between a little girl and a group of building workers.

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant building .

One day Joe, Steve and a gang of building workers turned up to start building a house on the empty plot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.

She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold,more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot.

They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and
lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. They even gave her very own hard hat and gloves.

At the end of the first week they presented her with a pay envelope containing two pounds in 10p coins.

The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank the cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a'pay packet'.

"You must have worked very hard to earn all this", said the bank
cashier.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked all last week with the men
building a big house."

"My goodness gracious," said the cashier, "Will you be working on the house again this week, as well?"

The little girl thought for a moment and said ...

"I think so. Provided those c*nts at Jewsons deliver the f**king
bricks."

Hope you get a smile out of that one

Answer 3

Sorry to see some people are sad this time of the year.
If you're alone right know, then go out and visit a friend. That might lighten up your spirit. Go to a real friend. Someone you trust.
If that's not possible, then try this.
Put out the lights. Close the curtains. Lit some candles for a warm glow affect in your house. Put on some good music, or a funny movie. Or start cooking some delicious food. (With the light on ofcourse, haha.)
Just make yourself comfortable.
I hope your sad mood clears up again.
Good luck...

Answer 4

First, I would reccomend you listen to some Bowling for Soup, they always brighten my day.

Here is a joke as well:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods.
A small tree begins to grow between them.

The beech says to the birch: "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The birch says he cannot tell.
Just then a woodpecker lands in the sapling.
The birch says "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies:
"It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. That, my friends, is the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

Answer 5

How to fight loneliness
Smile all the time
Shine you teeth til meaningless
Sharpen them with lies

And whatevers going down
Will follow you around
Thats how you fight loneliness
You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
Fill your heart with smoke
And the first thing that you want
Will be the last thing you ever need
Thats how you fight it

Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time

J. Tweedy

Answer 6

Aw, cheer up. It's almost Friday. Here's a stupid joke to make you smile...

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
The only friction in there marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.

Answer 7

You are a woman... be happy... with this email we once got sent round work.....

Happy reading xx

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, cheque or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.


MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man,
"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Homepride, isn't it?

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton
balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, " You see, it's like this,
yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own . so does she.

WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"





CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.


xx

Answer 8

a first-grade instructor, Ms. Brooks, replaced into having problem with one in each and every of her scholars. the instructor requested, "Harry, what's your situation?" Harry replied, "i'm too sensible for the first grade. My sister is interior the third grade and that i'm smarter than she is! i imagine I must be interior the third Grade too!" Ms. Brooks had had adequate. She took Harry to the crucial's place of work. even as Harry waited interior the outer place of work, the instructor defined to the crucial what the issue replaced into. The crucial informed Ms. Brooks he ought to provide the boy a try. If he did not answer any of his questions he replaced into to bypass decrease back to the first grade and behave. She agreed. Harry replaced into delivered in and the situations were defined to him and he Agreed to take the try. crucial: "what's 3 x 3?" Harry : "9." crucial: "what's 6 x 6?" Harry: "36." And so it went with each and every question the crucial concept a third grader might want to comprehend. The crucial seems at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "i imagine Harry can bypass to the third grade." Ms. Brooks says to the crucial, "enable me ask him some questions." The crucial and Harry both agreed. Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have 4 of that I have in elementary words 2 of?" Harry, after a second: "Legs." Ms. Brooks: "what's on your pants that you've yet i do not have?" The crucial puzzled why ought to she ask this kind of question! Harry replied: "wallet." Ms. Brooks : "What does a dogs try this a guy steps into?" Harry: "Pants." Ms. Brooks: What begins with a C, ends with a T, is furry, oval, delicious and incorporates skinny, whitish liquid?" Harry: "Coconut." The crucial sat ahead including his mouth putting open. Ms. Brooks : "What is going in troublesome and purple then comes out tender and sticky?" The crucial's eyes opened truly wide and previously he ought to stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum." Ms. Brooks: "What does a guy do status up, a woman does sitting down And a dogs does on 3 legs?" Harry: "Shake fingers." The crucial replaced into trembling. Ms. Brooks : "What note begins with an 'F' and leads to 'ok' meaning a lot of warm temperature and exhilaration?" Harry: "Firetruck." The crucial breathed a sigh of relief and informed the instructor, "positioned Harry interior the fifth-grade, I were given the severe seven questions incorrect...... "

Answer 9

When troubles occupy your head
And you're scared to get out of bed
Remember that you are well fed
And that at least you are not dead.

Some people closed their eyes last night
And will not see the morning light
And while this day may, in fact, bite
One day it won't...I know I'm right.

Answer 10

There are many ways to be happier.

Try this:
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/kenya/
Lions and Tigers in Kenya!

Or this:
http://www.lvxmvndi.com/
full of crazy artworks

Or look at my blog:
http://uk.360.yahoo.com/monkeymanelvis
I put a new quote on every day

Or dance dance dance until you are jolly!

Answer 11

IM SAD TO HOW CAN I BRIGHTEN UP DAY IF AM SAD