Update.....1st Night?

Question

I followed all of your advice...went to walmart got some newborn bottles....some good formula....he drank it and was quiet for about 2 minutes....I did burp him....I tryed everything....rocking him,feeding him,i bought a pacifier, i tryed laying with him, i even put a movie on....all he was doing was crying and neither one of us slept...Now at 9 am he finally falls asleep.....We are in a hotel and becuase he was crying so much the people next door thought that i was abusing him and called the managers of the hotel and they came to check on us and I just said that he was crying alot. Now I really need help....everything...I feel bad because im asking for so much but I really need it....My mom is flying in today but i dont know how much she is going to be able to do for me....so help is wanted! Thanks

Just to let everyone know I am the father and the babies mother decided to leave us...so its just me and my son

Answer 1

I admire your desire to step in and give of yourself to your son. I'm guessing your son may have spent some time in the hospital before coming "home". If this is so, then hospital stays will disrupt baby's day/night cycles because there is constant noise and constant light.

One of our children had to be in the hospital for 5 days. When we brought him home, he spent lots of time in the swing. This helped during his adjustment back to a quiet setting (he was 3 months old). We did not have any lights or TV on at night because we wanted him to learn that "dark" meant quiet and sleep time, and "light" meant day time.

At night, when changing baby's diaper, use a flashlight or very soft light so that you can see well enough to change the diaper, but don't turn the big lights on, because this will disrupt that day/night cycle you want him to acclimate to.

Lots of good advice here from others. Allowing him to lay on your chest so that he hears your heartbeat, swaddling him, rocking him, etc. Keeping a hat on his little head will help to keep him warm. Babies lose 50% of their body heat from their head if it's not covered.

Formula fed babies eat every 2 to 4 hours. Be sure to offer the bottle at least every 2 hours. If he is not hungry, he won't take it. You are a "trouper" for sticking with your little one all night long and trying everything you could to help him. If you get a front pack or sling, use it. Your son may need to be held all the time for awhile so that he feels secure. having a front pack will allow him to be close, and will allow you to have a free hand to prepare bottles, meals, etc.

Your mom wil be a great help. Having an extra set of arms does wonders. Sleep when your son sleeps, so that you can have energy and patience to deal with his fussy periods, even if they are at night. Your days and nights may be turned around for awhile too.

Be sure to take care of yourself by eating right and drinking lots of water. Let your mom watch your son or take him for a walk or drive so that you can sleep during the day. That will help you to have the patience you need during the time of adjustment.

If you get a swing, be sure it is battery operated. Baby may sleep for extended periods in it. When my children were 5 months old, I used my swing every day.

Just a few tips from a Mother of 5.

Answer 2

First off, I have to say that you are a wonderful father just for stepping in and doing whats right. He is getting used to you just as you are getting used to him. He's going to be fussy for a while. Some babies are. Really all you can do is console him. Be sure his diapers are changed, he's fed and burped. You can pace the floor with him, rock him back and forth, or take him for a ride. Sometimes those things help. He could also have a belly ache. Maybe kind of bounce him just a little. There may just be some burps left in there. We watched the infant massage video and learned how to get the gases out. That helps a lot. But, really the best thing you can do is give him time and let him get used to his surroundings. Its great that your mom is coming. That will relieve some of the pressure off of you. Its tough being a new parent. It would be really hard to be the only parent. It sounds like you are doing a great job though.Good Luck with everything I really hope things go the way you want them to.

Answer 3

Firstly, calm down. That won't do either of you any good. First few nights are absolutely mahyem whether there are 2, 3, 6 or 1 of you so you did good. As long as he ate all his feed (check he's getting the right amount from the Midwife/Health Visitor) then I think the problem was either wind or something. The quickest way to figure out a problem is do the essentials: 1. wind - rock them, get them up on your shoulder, lie them across your knee and rub their back, whatever to get something from them; 2. nappy - check that they don't need changing; 3. food - double check they are still not hungry; 4. just a plain old cuddle.

If you've done all that and your sure theres not a serious problem then it's just a case of trying whatever you can to soothe him. None of us know what will soothe their baby it's just a case of trying everything. Whispering in their ear, stroking the back of the neck, tapping their back, rocking, walking round with them on your shoulder....just try all sorts and once you've figured it it will work every time. Sorry, not trying to be unhelpful but to start with it is mostly about crying and trying things out. Just make sure when your Mum comes that you get a bit of rest and sort a few things out (assuming you won't be staying at the hotel forever!), get all the bits you need, get the medical guidance you need (we all need it) and try to enjoy Daddyhood. It's damn hard work but the best thing in the world. Good luck.

Oh, and get your Mum to take some nice photos of the two of you...something to look at at 2am when all is not so quiet...it will get you through the night honestly! Best of luck.

Answer 4

Believe me your mom is going to be a godsend!!

My son did the same thing the first week. Then, as he settled into the new surroundings (remeber he's gotten used to the hospistal setting) he'll settle down. With my son the only thing that made him stop was when my husband would pace with him patting his bottom. When he held him he held his legs kind of scrunched into his belly...like a make shift fetal position.

Even this week when my fussy niece, who I babysit, had her first shots and was cranky. My hubby picked her up and did the same thing. The little stinker quieted right down!!

He's used to your body movements being inside your belly for nine months. So, if you pace he'll likely feel comfy and secure. Did you try rocking him? Can you get a rocker from the hotel?

Also, he probably has his days and nights mixed up. Which my son did too. It's hard at first but just open those windows wide and let the sun in. Place him in his bassinett or moses basket right in front of the window. Change him in the morning and at night. Just make sure to close the blinds tight at night. Eventually he'll catch on.

Email me if you need anything!!

In the mean time just know your mom will be there shortly. :))

Answer 5

First of all bless you. Theres not many fathers that would do what you are doing.
The baby could have colic depending on age but that usually doesnt start until about 6 weeks
Babies can feel your stress, So when you are trying to calm down your child try keeping a clear mind. Sing songs to help calm you and your baby. Even if you dont know any lullubys sing whatever song you know. Reassure your baby that you are there and everything will be okay. Talk to him tell him that everything will be ok.
I have a 3 month old and thats what works for me. GoodLuck

Answer 6

A walk outside, either in a sling or in your arms, is great. Even tiny kids sense when they're outside. It's better to carry them than have them in a stroller. If you don't have a sling, look into buying one. They're great!

Your mom will at least be able to hold your son while you go take a walk or a shower or just go somewhere quiet.

It's a hard period of life. Sometimes babies just cry. It's also really possible that he misses his mom. Just keep holding him and comforting him while he cries and eventually he will not cry so much.

You could also take him to the doctor or call the doctor and ask about a hypoallergenic formula.

Answer 7

well, Is your baby warm? How would you feel if you where taken out of a warm, safe environment? The baby is misplaced. They baby can't tell that when it's daylight they have to stay up and when it's dark they go to sleep. When your baby was in the womb, when you walked around you rocked the baby to sleep in the daytime, and at night the baby is awake, I wouldn't give your baby a pacifier, I never gave my two children it, my doctor told me parents only use it to shut the baby up. You need to keep the baby warm, swaddle the baby, and wrap him up tight, but not too tight. rock him back and forth. Try playing peek a boo with the newborn baby. They get tired easily, and with an overcrowded area they get upset. The t.v. probably made him upset after awhile because the noise was too much for him to handle. Babies do cry a lot sometimes, I couldn't wait to get out of the hospital because I couldn't sleep at night with all of the babies screaming their lungs out. Keep a hat on the baby, most of the baby's heat comes out of his head and feet. Take care and good luck

Answer 8

O.K. i just got done reading all of your posts. I feel bad and happy and sad and worried and proud of you all at the same time. Here is my suggestion for right now...babies cry, they don't know the difference between night and day. When the baby was still inside his mother he would sleep while she was moving and be awake while she slept. That is why the schedule is so messed up. It will work itself out, don't worry about that now. If he's sleeping, you sleep now too. Turn off your computer, sleep, wait for your mom, don't let the mother near him yet, and just know that nothing you are doing is wrond. It's all learning experience. Good luck. Post after your mom gets in, I'll watch for your post. Get some sleep.

Answer 9

Sometimes pacing or walking with a newborn helps settle them down. After all they are used to being jostled, bumped and feeling motion through the mother's movements. You can also try the ever faithful stand by of taking the baby for a drive, most babies will fall asleep in their car seats in the car. Also sometimes white noise will help with a fussy baby-a radio or TV station static or a vacuum cleaner running in a different room created background noises similar to what a baby is used to hearing, or so they (doctors) say.

Hang in there it will get better.

Answer 10

My daughter cried and cried the first night we brought her home. We ended up calling the maternity ward at the hospital because we didn't know what else to do! My partner took her to the supermarket to buy some pacifiers, which she refused, but the motion of the car helped her to sleep at 3am. She used to cry a lot during the first week but believe me, it does get easier. It will seem like it goes on forever at the moment but it passes to quickly in the overall scheme of things. I can't believe that my daughter is now 11 weeks old already; it seems like yesterday that my partner and I were on our way to the hospital to have her!