First off, this is a long-distance relationship; and she is relocationg to the city where I live on her own free will. she has told that if she moves down here, that she doesn't want to stay alone; but i've told her that i'm not ready to move in with a woman until i'm married, we have went back and forth on this issue; so i just want some honest answers as to what to do!
2006-12-07 00:41:59 · 13 answers · asked by u_already_know81 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, you asked for an honest answer, (and I only give those), I say, stand your ground! And let me also say, I applaud you on you saying what you mean, and meaning what you say. She should be really lucky to have a man like you. Many men and woman, don't talk about how they feel or what they want and when they feel it is a right time for them. A lot of people in relationships give mixed signals and move way too fast. Those relationships end up not lasting because one out of the two, didn't want to move that fast but they were not mature enough to speak their mind. If she moved there, and I believe you that it was on her own free will, that is her problem. You should talk more about it, of course, but you let her know what you said here, and if you love her, tell her that too. But stand your ground. She is a big girl and I am sure she will do fine.
Good Luck.
2006-12-07 00:51:00 · answer #1 · answered by megabites42 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the girl has some listening issues. I think you can do better than that. Do you really want to get stuck with this person for the rest of your life? First it's moving in, then it's engagement then marriage then kids... etc etc... That's how girls work. That's all they're programmed to do - make a man settle down. You're probably in it for some company. Doesn't sound to me like she's the one for you otherwise you'd have jumped at the opportunity.
Maybe it's because you're unsure. If it's uncertainity because you don't really know her, then tell her that respect is very important in a relationship and at this point, you need her to respect your need to move at a slower pace. Tell her that maybe in 6 months or so, when you're better acquainted with her, then a move in might be inevitable.
If she keeps insisting, dump her. She'll be a royal pain in your @ss as time progresses.
2006-12-07 00:49:19 · answer #2 · answered by Alex B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it clear and then tell her it's not up for debate. Let her know how you feel about her, that you still want to see her and be involved with her (if you do) but that living together is not in the plan.
If she cannot accept that, you'll have to decide if she's worth continuing to see or not. Sounds like she's making the move more to manipulate you, than because she wants to live in your town.
2006-12-07 00:44:49 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If shes not ready to accept that you need time to warm up to the idea shes not a good idea for you. i personal dont think its right for a man and a woman to live in the same house if they are not married. so i can see where your coming from on that. Try to explain it to her again maybe this time she will listen
2006-12-07 00:46:22 · answer #4 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a saying that goes.....all your chickens come home to roost, long distance and close proximity are two different things. Maybe it's a case of distance makes the heart grow stronger........Go with H
2006-12-07 00:50:50 · answer #5 · answered by renclrk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure she understands that she is moving on her own fee will and that you will stick to your morals. If anything should ever happen bad between you both, you can not be blamed for her move! Good luck!
2006-12-07 00:46:04 · answer #6 · answered by pofdog 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your principles, it'll only cause a rift between you if she forces the issue. She could always rent or house share with others, she doesn't have to live alone.
2006-12-07 00:44:46 · answer #7 · answered by F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have explained all this to her, I think you are going to lose her... Sounds like she might need you to help her buy/rent a place...
You can live together, and in a 2 bedroomed place, you don't have to have sex... But at least you'll know if you can live with her, if you marry her...
2006-12-07 00:45:25 · answer #8 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already told her your feelings in this matter, do not compormise your position. She doesn't have the right to insist that you move in with her if you don't want to. She is being spoiled and childish.
2006-12-07 00:47:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well... tell her again that u don't want to move in w/ her. if she doesn't listen or u guys fight about it or if shes pushing u 2 hard, maybe shes not right 4 u.
sry if this isnt the answer that u wanted
2006-12-07 00:46:09 · answer #10 · answered by musicfromthesoul. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋