my parents devorced when I was 5 and I lived with my dad.I miss my mum very much and now it almost a torture because when I feel something is difficult I would think of my mum and dream of thet she would be able to help me . however i know it's impossible.I am an adult now and should be independent.but I dont know how to get rid of the thoughts when I am not happy.I need your help!
2006-12-07 00:24:21 · 13 answers · asked by yuanrui 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I know where she is and I know my mum in reality is not so perfect as I have imagined.I just need someone who spoils me like a mother.I need to learn from her how to be a lady--I am a girl in fact ,but coz I lived with my dad I am very boyish now.
2006-12-07 00:36:07 · update #1
I know where she is and I know my mum in reality is not so perfect as I have imagined.I just need someone who spoils me like a mother.I need to learn from her how to be a lady--I am a girl in fact ,but coz I lived with my dad I am very boyish now.
2006-12-07 00:36:09 · update #2
I know where she is and I know my mum in reality is not so perfect as I have imagined.I just need someone who spoils me like a mother.I need to learn from her how to be a lady--I am a girl in fact ,but coz I lived with my dad I am very boyish now.
2006-12-07 00:36:41 · update #3
Well i can sort of relate with what your going through but i can't offer any advice on how get rid of your painful thoughts, this a time when each person that goes through a time like this must choose for there selves how best to carry on, the only advice i can give is don't sit around with her picture and fall into a bottle like i did, go and be around friends laugh, joke and just make new happy memory's to remember, take it from me you can go crazy just thinking about what might have been or what could be, just go about your life as best you can and don't worry about things you can't control.
2006-12-07 00:42:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you're missing your Mum everyday. I'm unsure of your problem. Is it that you don't know where your Mum is or that you feel as though you shouldn't need to go to her since you are an adult? If you need to find her, then find her! There are agencies, on line help. Maybe a relative can help. Start from the last known address she lived and go from there. As for not needing her because your an adult, well, I'm in my mid forties and I STILL talk to my Mom everyday! She has been the one person in my life who is ALWAYS there, and I expect to be the same for MY children. They are in their early 20's, and I will always here for them, it doesn't matter how old they are. And you didn't have the benefit of having her when you were growing up so I'm sure you have a lot of "muming" to catch up on. And I'm positive your "Mum" would love to hear from you and want to be there for you. Make the first move and try to get in touch with her. If it's really impossible to get in touch with her then turn to a grandparent, aunt, etc..who understands your need for your Mum's love. Good luck, and NEVER feel bad that you need your Mum! Everyone does!
2006-12-07 00:39:32 · answer #2 · answered by N0_white_flag 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult in body but not emotionally. It is very hard for someone with a history such as yours to get past that fantasy that the missing parent will fix everything, it is a childs magical thinking and its very powerful. You cant get rid of the thoughts, but you can work through them, preferably with a good therapist. Therapy cannot change the past, but it can address the longing. Good luck on your own particular journey of life.
2006-12-07 00:51:12 · answer #3 · answered by artistry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to miss your mum....Have you ever seen a movie called" What a girl want "? And it's about a girl just want to know her dad..because her mom and dad didn't marry and her mom has a child. . She didn't know who is her father. So she decide to find her dad...away from the Us to UK. I think if I am you..I will go find her. And you're an adult. You can do many things by yourself, right? You can get some imformation about your mom from you dad. GOOD LUCK.
2006-12-07 01:49:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should meet your mom at any cost at least for once. Otherwise you will get sick. You could be adult but in your subconscious mind you are child of a mom.
Why not ask your father that you want to see your mom. If there is not problem for your mother to see you.
Or there is one way, by hypnosis you will be given some suggestion which do work and harmless.
But I suggest better see your mom.
2006-12-07 01:27:19 · answer #5 · answered by Ari 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you miss her that much, go & find her. Electoral rolls, asking relatives, google her name ( maiden & married surnames) post on the web, go to the Salvation Army, there are 101 ways to look for her. And I don't know what you consider adult & independent but I'm 39 & still talk to my mum often to ask her stuff.
2006-12-07 00:29:24 · answer #6 · answered by flossiedots 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-30 06:23:32 · answer #7 · answered by youngerman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find her and visit if you can. If you can't visit her, maybe you can call and talk to her on the phone instead. You're never too old. I know people in their 50s that are still close to their parents.
2006-12-07 00:34:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter how old you are, you always need your parents.
If you know where she is, go to her and try to develop a relationship with her. It is never too late.
2006-12-07 00:28:08 · answer #9 · answered by helly 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's no limit from stopping to acknowledge your parents. If u noe where she is, go and find her and develop your relationship with her.
2006-12-07 02:18:20 · answer #10 · answered by wonderful girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋