I am currently going thru a tuff point in my life where I have realized the full effect that being sodomized as a child has brought about. And although I don't really know how to address the situation yet(23 yrs later) I have to wonder... how many of us are there?
How many men(specifically) were sexually abused as children by members of their families. And how many of those families have spent the last 20+yrs trying to cover it up?
(sorry ladies, I know that you all get abused too, but people hear you when you speak. Not so for men.)
2006-12-07 00:05:08 · 8 answers · asked by Meatball ;) 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
5 answers(besides the spam) and 5 women....I rest my case.
2006-12-07 00:21:36 · update #1
btw, I dn't intend to discredit the women's experiences. I am just trying to set apart the inherent difference between me and them. As I said, you get heard.
And as far as the counseling bit... Maybe you should thank your HP for allowing you the means to afford that. Not all of us have been so lucky.
2006-12-07 00:33:55 · update #2
I can't presume to know how to help...but I just looked up a couple of web sites. Malesurvivor.org and jimhopper.com. I know it's not much, but maybe it will help you to read some info (if you haven't already) and read some testimonials from other male victims. And there is some good info on support groups. I know it's not much, but it's a start.
2006-12-08 04:10:44 · answer #1 · answered by wendy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for you. You are so right. You really hear more about girls being sexually abused and not so much boys. It is a weird society. It does not matter boy or girl, it is just wrong, and anyone who has had this happen to them, needs to get help. You are right about covering things up also. In more cases than not, it is a family member that does these horrible things. I can't imagine what you go through. You need to find some help. I hear that there are a lot of ways to get and pay for that help. You are a victim and there are grants to provide you the psychological help that you need. God Bless you!
2006-12-07 08:14:55 · answer #2 · answered by ransdoll90 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a lady that was sexually abused as a child by our "hired men" when I was a little girl. I grew up, looking for "Love in All the Wrong Places". I thought I knew love, but I was wrong. You may never stop remembering it , but you can get over it and move on. I'm writing because I walked in on my son at age 6 being sexually abused by a 12 year old. Through his therapy, we talked with him on how people go through "sexual experimental stages". I found out that "covering up" won't get you to the place you want to be....facing it and over coming it...will help you cope. It wasn't your fault, so you will have to deal with it and move on. Talk to a councilor. My son is doing much better because of it.
2006-12-07 08:25:45 · answer #3 · answered by Sheila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great that you are working through this. In my opinion, abuse is abuse and there shouldn't be gender discrimination. I'm not actually answering your question but applauding you for the question you asked and how well it was worded. I want to say that if the relationship is secure and the man feels comfortable enough, he should at least tell his spouse/partner instead of trying to cover it up. That adds to much stress to the survivor of the abuse. Yes...see yourself as a survivor, not a victim. The "victim" label has a tendency to beat a person down and make him/her feel worse about what happened. Calling yourself a "survivor" should make you feel stronger.
2006-12-07 08:13:24 · answer #4 · answered by poppywest1223 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know that you will be able to find out anywhere near to an accurate statistic for this issue. In my opinion, I beleive most men would not admit to it ever happening since that would be something that they would be encouraged to present a tough front about. Unless they are openly gay, most men would consider it extremely shameful even though they were victims and part of it would be homophobic in their perception. Judging from the number of men who will not admit to masterbation, its even more taboo to mention anything of a homosexual nature to anyone. I dont think you will get any reasonable statistics from therapists reports. Rape is rape no matter what the gender and women only report in 25% of cases of that, so you can imagine that men are very unlikely to report it and boys more so.
2006-12-07 08:17:54 · answer #5 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had an ex who was sexually abused by his cousin or uncle and he told his parents and they did nothing about it. I know it is late now, but i think the best medicine is to confront the person and tell them that what they did to you ruined your life just because they are a sick individual.
2006-12-07 08:14:23 · answer #6 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why did you hide it so many years?!
Poor guy you!
Am sorry you had to go through this....Am sorry that you came in the wrong family.
2006-12-07 08:09:08 · answer #7 · answered by Soulla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know about three guys in my school alone that have been
2006-12-07 08:29:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋