Are stable and faithful relationships impossible in the western society? Are they ideal ones?

Question

Individuality will make almost any partner unable to give you complete satisfaction and happiness over an extended period of time. On the other hand the tradition of wine and parties where unpremeditated adultery has greatest likelihood of happening, no matter how honest a person is, surely has made stabel relationships impossible. Is a lifelong married relationship still an ideal, seen in the light of the idealogy and traditions of western society? Similarly does a person who has a vast experience of the other sex have the right habits required for a lifelong relationship? I will not ask those aged people who have been disillusioned with sexual experimentation (they are welcome to answer though), but those who are less than 30 year old. Do they want a lifelong married relationship? Do they think that they can go with such a relationship? Can they resist the temptation to become unfaithful throughout their lives? I want honest answers.

Answer 1

First of all happiness comes from within, if you are looking to others to "make" you happy then you will never be happy.

As for resisting temptation, I am 54, and I have never cheated. Sure, temptation will rear its ugly head occasionally, but self respect, character, and a value system are key to honoring ones marriage vows to ones self, and more importantly to ones spouse.

Answer 2

People can and should do what works for them with regard to relationships.

I had to laugh at your line re: "aged people who have been disillusioned with sexual experimentation" since it's rather meaningless to the question.

It's actually a good thing that people don't have to feel "stuck" in non working relationships anymore. If a couple meets and decides to marry and wants to stay together the rest of their lives, that's great for them...but there's no "need" or "reason" for it to be that way...there's nothing wrong at all with having multiple partners throughout one's life, or none at all.

As for resisting temptation, it's not that difficult...those that choose not to do it more because they don't want to resist, not because they cannot.

Cheating is unkewl for sure...but it's been going on ever since there were "couples"...nowadays such things are just discussed more openly and seen in the media...

Answer 3

Overthinking this a bit aren't you?
If a person cannot maintain a level of individuality in a relationship it is doomed to failure.
The concept of a stable relationship being compromised by parties is also misguided. Stable relationships are not affected by the surroundings like that.
Relationships remain stable and long term through the continued benefit of partnership for both parties. The willingness to stray relates directly to one partner's needs not being met.

Perhaps you should be surveying people who have had some longevity in their relationships instead of the under 30 crowd. Sorry to tell you they won't have a clue. We've been married longer than that.

Answer 4

My relationship with my fiancee is almost three years old now. I still see and appreciate beauty, but I have a certain set or principles and morals to which I adhere. Faithfulness is one of these. To my country, my family, my fiancee, my God, etc. This is not something I compromise. People that compromise their morals, or lack them, are weak. Do not enter into a commitment you are not capable of maintaining. Married life is not the right choice from a sustainability standpoint for all people. Most cultures have moved to the point that they do not frown and ostracize people who are not married and without children to the extent they once did. As to whether I continue to resist temptation, ask me in 50 years. In my opinion, my generation has markedly less will power and self-discipline when compared to its predecessors. The desire for instant gratification degrades the quality and prospects of long term relationships.

Answer 5

I did my share of hosing around when I was younger. I think it is a common phase in young adulthood. When one gets a little older and more experienced, such things get a little "old" and the desire to settle down in a more meaningful relationship sets in.

I believe that this is still as close to ideal as we get because self-determination still plays a role. Even in the divorce ridden present, the divorces are indicators of a desire to fulfill our needs even when the marriage is with one who does not meet those needs.

To me, the key is to select a partner MORE WISELY, paying more attention to her history and making a determination of her ability to be happy, with me or anyone else. I feel in retrospect that my marriages were to women incapable of contentment, security, and stability. I wasted a lot of time.

In summary, I believe that commitment and marriage are still the ideal. We just need to take a serious look at ourselves and gauge our ability to make it work.

Answer 6

I think most people (especially women) want the long happy marrige. Idealy thats all we can want. But all we can hope for anymore is happiness and that we don't get hurt. There are to many factors out there now to prevent this. Temtation can be resisted but accidents happen.

Answer 7

If you are looking for someone else to give you complete satisfaction and happiness then you're bound to wind up in an unsatisfactory/unhappy relationship. It is no one else's responsiblity to satisfy you or make you happy except yourself. If your relationships are unfullfilling then you are looking for the wrong relationships, in the wrong places. The first thing you have to do is to stop expecting everyone else to make your life successful and stop blaming everyone else for your failures.

Answer 8

Yes is ideal.